A New Roomate
by Lee3
Summary: When a 19 year old superpowered kid ends up in the Love Hina world things go haywire. (Chapter 15 is up!)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: My first Love Hina fic. I don't own the series or any of the characters, if I did the series would probably suck. This is an Self Insertion so I do own myself. This takes place after Book 5. Everybody got it? Good. One other thing something happened and I accidently posted a chapter from another fic instead, I got everything sorted out now. Here is the REAL first chapter of A New Roomate (I hope). { } Expresses thought.  
  
A New Roomate?  
  
(Scene starts with a 19 year old kid who is soon to be a sophomore in college.)  
  
Lee: (Just finished reading Book 5 of Love Hina.) Damn, a young male landlord with five attractive young females.kind of like a cross between Tenchi Muyo and Charlie Brown(A.N.: You all can figure out why.) *sigh* I envy the bastard in this book. (Was deep in thought when a blue energy gate hovered over the manga, but when Lee closed the book the gate disappeared.) Ha, no trans-dimensional gateway is going o pull me into another dimension where anime and manga characters exist.again. (He goes to the bathroom for a few minutes. Meanwhile the manga opened itself up and gate reappeared. Lee returned to the bathroom and closed the door to his room only to find a blue energy hand emerging from the gate.)  
  
Lee: Oh shit! (The hand grabbed him by his face, the kid couldn't break free and he was getting pulled in fast despite how powerful the kid was, so he created a Body Double.) (A.N.: Yes, the kid has superpowers.I was trying to be original.) Lee 2 you know what to do!  
  
Lee 2: Yes, should I follow you later?  
  
Lee: Just get the dimensional link up! (Got pulled in, the manga closed and the gate disappeared. There was nothing Lee could do, but admire the scenary in the vortex, while guessing where this gate will take him.)  
  
********  
  
(Meanwhile in a certain three story dormitory a certain dork went to call a girl he likes down for breakfast. He peeps in from that hole that links his room to her, only to accidently see her ass.)  
  
Keitaro: Naru, it's time for.oh no.  
  
Naru: OH NO IS RIGHT PERVERT!!! (Kicks him through the roof and Keitaro falls 50 ft., through every tree branch and hits the ground on his back.)  
  
Keitaro: This just isn't my day.  
  
Haruka: (Appears out of nowhere) You do realize that it hasn't been your day since you came to Hinata House. You need to stop walking in on Naru and/or Motoko or you might whined up dead.  
  
Keitaro: I know that.  
  
Haruka: If you know that then, oh I don't know, KNOCK FIRST!!!  
  
Keitaro: {Duh.}  
  
Haruka: Don't you have breakfast to eat?  
  
Keitaro: Oh crap I forgot! (Runs back to the dorm.)  
  
Haruka: {Poor little hopeless fool.}  
  
*******  
  
Shinobu: Hey, where's Sempai and Motoko?  
  
Naru: That pervert is.(Keitaro rushes into the Dining Hall.)  
  
Keitaro: I'm (pants) back.  
  
Naru: That was fast. Usually it would take you awhile to get back.  
  
Keitaro: I'm getting used to the whole "Team Rocket Blastoff Bit" .  
  
Su: (Already finished eating) Are you guys gonna eat your food?  
  
Everyone Minus the absent Motoko and Sarah: YES!  
  
Su: Oh.  
  
Kitsune: (Half drunk) Hey, where is Motoko anyway?  
  
Shinobu: Didn't I ask that question earlier?  
  
Su: She has been practicing a lot lately so I think she is relaxing right now.  
  
Keitaro: How very odd in some ways.  
  
*******  
  
(A warp-gate appears and Lee fell out of it, the gate closed and the kid fell half way into the spa, but stopped himself by sticking his tail into the ceiling.)  
  
Lee: {Damn, I ended up in what looks like a Boiler Room with a Hot Spring in it. {Wait isn't that a little bit unorthodoxed?} ( He blew his concentration so his tail retracted and he fell into hot water.) {Shit it's so hot in here!} (Spots an opening and swims towards it.)  
  
********  
  
Motoko: (Bathing in the spring in her room.) Ahhhh, this is so relaxing, I could stay in here all day. (Lee surfaced with his back to Motoko)  
  
Lee: Okay, that was odd.  
  
Motoko: Who are you and what are you doing in my room (reaches for her sword)?!  
  
Lee: Your room? Looks more like a Japanese museum.. besides I think your room is linked to the Boiler Room. (A.N.: Book 4)  
  
Motoko: You're gonna die you bastard (unsheaths her sword)!  
  
Lee: Fuck (gets out of the hot spring and heads for the door)!  
  
Motoko: Boulder Cutting Slash (destroys the door after Lee phased through it)!  
  
Lee: (Phased through the wall) That is a STUPID name for an attack (phases back through the same wall)! (Both of them ran down stairs and Lee drew his sword from the scabbard on his back.)  
  
Motoko: DIE YOU BASTARD (leaps and uses an Overhead Strike only it was intercepted by Lee's sword)!!!  
  
Lee: I don't wanna hurt you.  
  
Motoko: Too bad, because the penalty for seeing me naked is "Death!"  
  
Lee: I didn't see you naked..hey explain how you changed into your Hakama so fast?  
  
Motoko: Shut up (pulls away and then she looked at her opponent's sword)! What of sword is that?  
  
Lee: It's just a big sword for a big guy like me. (A.N.: Lee's sword is a magical medieval sword that's powered by his own life. It's as big as him, but it is not a Zambatoh or any kind of Japanese sword.)  
  
Motoko: It's not the size of the sword.  
  
Lee: It's how you use it I know. a lot of opponents I faced told me the same thing and they're all dead now.  
  
Motoko: The bigger the sword.  
  
Lee: The easier they can nail you (charged and slashed Motoko's stomach at lightening fast speed.)!  
  
Motoko: {Damn, he's faster than I thought.}  
  
Lee: What's your next saying "The bigger they are the harder they fall?" Trust me on this, just give it up woman. I don't want to.  
  
Motoko: Shut up you weak bastard (That pissed Lee off)!  
  
Lee: What did you say (getting angry)?  
  
Motoko: You're just a big weakling just like someone else I know.  
  
Lee: (Thinks back of all the times he was teased him for being tall and skinny.) Weak, weak, WEAK (Completely pissed off, sheaths his sword and dares Motoko to charge at him.)?!!  
  
Motoko: Foolish boy (charges at him) Motoko Sla..WHAT (discovers that Lee caught the blade with his right hand right before the sword made contact with his body)?! Oh no!  
  
Lee: (Has a scary look in his eyes that would scare anyone.) Call me weak little girl (looks down at the shorter girl)? You're the one (shoves the butt of her sword into her chest) WHO IS WEAK (pulls the sword towards him and socks Motoko with a monstrous left hook that would put Naru to shame sending Motoko flying into the Landlord's room where the rest of the residents are.  
  
Everyone: (sees Motoko busting through the door, bounce off the table and into the wall nearly destroying it.) MOTOKO!!!  
  
Motoko: (groans in pain while struggling to get up) My god he's strong when he's pissed.  
  
Keitaro: Whose him.who did this?!  
  
Shinobu: Look (points to a 6'8'' Black guy who is extremely pissed with glowing red eyes)!  
  
Naru: Boy is he mad.  
  
Su: Heyo (tried to jump kick Lee, but he caught her in midair)!  
  
Lee: Everybody say hooooo!  
  
Su: Hoooaaaah (was thrown into the bookshelf)!  
  
Naru: Hey, that wasn't nice (advances towards the big man)!  
  
Lee: Shut up.  
  
Naru: No, now you got two choices: Either you apologize and leave, or I knock you out!  
  
Lee: If those are my only two choices then.( looks away for a second and then punches Naru so hard she flew out of the dorm and disappeared from sight.) Hope she's ready for a Round the World Tour, but don't worry she will land on the front walkway.  
  
Keitaro: Why are you here?  
  
Lee: I'll explain everything, but first I want a piece of that Sword Slinging Bitch who called me weak.  
  
Keitaro: Heh, welcome to my world.  
  
Motoko: (standing up) You want me? Fine!  
  
Lee: What is your name?  
  
Motoko: Motoko Aoyama.  
  
Lee: Okay (points his sword at Motoko) Motoko Aoyama my name is Lee and I challenge you to a duel to the death!  
  
Motoko: I accept now let's go!  
  
Lee: Not yet, unlike you I don't enjoy causing property damage while fighting. Let's take this out front.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
I decided to cut off here for suspense purposes. Send reviews or flames I don't really care. I would like to thank OmegaDragon for his story "Switched Lives", that story inspired me to write this as well get up the nerv to post this. As well as asking the question "What does fu mean?" (I would like to know that too.) I would also like to thank Barthoze for my first review. (It helped me fix my errors.) 


	2. You're Mine

Hello, Mushi mushi, Guten Tag,.sorry got caught up in the hellos. I'm back with a new chapter. It's hard to type fics when you have two computers, but only one of them is at my disposal plus, I go back to college on Monday so I have to prepare for that. Same disclaimer: Since this is an Self Insertion I own myself. I don't own any of the Love Hina characters or the series. { } Express any form of mental speech (thoughts, telepathic communications).  
  
Motoko: Shall I do the sum up?  
  
Lee: Sure, but don't strech the truth.  
  
Motoko: Here we go. This weird kid named Lee appeared in my room while I was changing. The fact that he saw me naked started the battle that's about to occur.  
  
Lee: My back was turned when I appeared you idiot.  
  
You're Mine  
  
Motoko: Fine.  
  
Lee: Hey dorkus.  
  
Keitaro: My name is Keitaro.  
  
Lee: Okay Keitaro, where is that Fox-eyed chick?  
  
Keitaro: Kitsune is.(Everyone who wasn't knocked out or learning how to fly saw Kitsune passed out on the floor.)  
  
Lee: That speaks for itself. (The two swordwielders walked out to the front while Keitaro and Shinobu dragged out Kitsune and Su who just woke up, and Sarah was asleep somewhere else.)  
  
Shinobu: Sempai, do you think that tough looking guy can beat Motoko?  
  
Keitaro: I think he's either very good with a sword or a very stupid person.  
  
Lee: Hello, I'm right here, I can hear everything you two are saying. (Naru landed in front of Keitaro just as Lee and Motoko were about to start the battle.) (A.N: Was I right or what?)  
  
Naru: (groans) Dammit.  
  
Kitsune: (Just got up) Whoa, guys what's going on?  
  
Keitaro: That tough looking kid over there appeared out of nowhere and picked a fight with Motoko, and now a battle is about to ensure.  
  
Naru: I hope Motoko kills his ass.  
  
Su: Yay, sword fight, sword fight..oh no I'm hungry!  
  
Lee: I know that if I use my powers you will die within the first five seconds, so if it's alright with you the only powers I will use is the power that keeps this sword visible.  
  
Motoko: I don't care if you are too cocky for your own good. You will soon realize that underestimating me is a fatal mistake.  
  
Lee: Likewise, now bring it Psycho-bitch. (Both of them spent 5 minutes staring each other down and the spectators got restless.)  
  
Su: C'mon, c'mon, fight already so I can eat.  
  
Keitaro: Don't worry, they'll start pretty soon. (Lee falls asleep standing up, everyone minus Motoko face-faults and falls over.)  
  
Naru: What the hell is this? How could someone who sent me on a "Round the World Tour" just fall asleep before a battle starts?!  
  
Motoko: { My point exactly, doesn't this pervert know who he's dealing with?}  
  
Lee: { C'mon Motoko you can't resist an open attack like this. I'm open for death over here.}  
  
Motoko: { Wait, what if he wants me to attack, but there is no way that kid could be this good especially if he's only using the power to keep his sword visible, but what if he is?}  
  
Lee: {C'mon bitch attack already.}  
  
Motoko: {Ahh screw this, opportunity knocks and I'm answering the door.} (Charges at Lee) Boulder Cutting Strike (Leaps in the air for the first strike)!  
  
Lee: {Here we go.} (Opens his eyes and blocks the slash and the ki of Motoko's attack, then counters with a quick diagonal slash that made contact with Motoko's stomach.)  
  
Motoko: (Holding her stomach) You didn't really fall asleep did you?  
  
Lee: (smiles) Nope. Motoko: It was just a ruse to hide your counterstrike.  
  
Lee: Yep.now let's continue. (Motoko tries to strike him five times, but Lee blocked and countered each one with ease. Next she tried another overhead strike, but Lee was prepared to block, but Motoko changed it into a horizontal strike halfway through cutting Lee's chest deeply.)  
  
Lee: Dammit, I didn't expect that.oh well.  
  
Motoko: Heh, I told you not to underestimate me.  
  
Lee: You think you can beat me, well I'll let you in on something.  
  
Motoko: What?  
  
Lee: That first counterstrike I made has been slowly draining your energy with every attack.you will start to feel it shortly.  
  
Motoko: Bullshit (uses her ki against her opponent, but he just stood there unaffected in any way by the attack, then she fell to her knees in pain)! What is going on, I'm losing strength.  
  
Lee: I already told you and besides if charging, leaping, slice n' dicing with your sword kept draining your energy due to my Energy Siphon Counterstrike, surely using your ki would accelerate the process (uses Motoko's own ki against her, sending her back 12 feet, then he kicked her in the face, finally he picked up by her clothes.).  
  
Naru: T-t-tell me I this is a dream.there is no way I'm seeing this.  
  
Shinobu: Um Naru.IT'S REAL!!!  
  
Keitaro: Okay, okay, so maybe this guy is the real deal.  
  
Su: (Eating a banana)  
  
Kitsune: (Going through a hangover) I haven't seen anything this odd since Tama-chan blocked one of Motoko's strikes.  
  
Keitaro & Naru: You need to lay off the booze. (Lee is still holding Motoko high like a trophy, then he noticed a cut on his right arm and two on his left.)  
  
Lee: { How did three delayed attacks make contact with my body without me knowing? Even without my powers I should have been able to notice before the scars appeared.That's it, Motoko must have caught on during her five strike barrage. (Looks back while contemplating the scars) The first two I blocked successfully, but the last three strikes must have involved her changing her attacks halfway through each of the final strikes, meaning I only blocked half of the last three blows without me seeing it. Here I thought I was gonna win this fight unscathed. } Motoko: (still in pain) Fu,fu,fu, I told you not to underestimate me.  
  
Lee: (Voice sounds demonic) Heh, you are not even worthy of being my rival in swordsmanship, so I'm gonna do you a favor and end this fight right now (Choke-slams Motoko, picks her up again and throws her up in the air). It's time for the finisher.  
  
Motoko: One. chance. left (starts descending).  
  
Lee: { She just won't give up.I guess I'll have to end this the fun way.} (Holds his sword like he is about to swing a bat and the blade started to glow a red orange color)  
  
Motoko: (Five seconds from impact) God's Cry School Sword Technique. CUTTING EVIL STRIKE: SECOND FORM!!!  
  
Lee: (Stance isn't broken as if the attack had no effect.) Foolish girl I'll show you a real attack (His sword glows bright red as he leapt at the falling Motoko)! DRAGON SLASH (cuts Motoko's left side barely missing any vitals)!!! (Both fighters land on their feet.)  
  
Motoko: (Feels a burning sensation in her body as well as the last of her strength ebbing away.) Why didn't my attack phase you, you evil bastard!  
  
Lee: First off: you were low on energy, second, I am too strong for you like I warned earlier, and third, I am not evil.and you call yourself a swordsman.  
  
Motoko: (groans) But you saw me naked.  
  
Lee: I told you right from the start I had my back turned to you the whole time. Hell, I never even saw your face, you just wanted an excuse to use your techniques on someone and you lost to a superior swordsman.  
  
Motoko: (Barely able to stand) What that last attack?  
  
Lee: It's called Dragon Slash. It's an attack the spirits that have possessed my body taught me when I was ten. One year later I mastered the technique, and two years after that I got so good with it I no longer needed my powers to execute it.  
  
Motoko: But your.sword.  
  
Lee: Glowed? Yes, but that was because the attack was powered by my strength, determination and will.be glad that attack does not kill. I taught myself eight other forms of that same technique and they all kill, and that ends my summary.  
  
Motoko: (whispers) You..you.bastard (Fall face first in the grass and loses consciousness).  
  
Lee: Since this is a "Duel to the Death" (raise his with the point aimed at Motoko's head) I will have to kill you now.  
  
Keitaro, Kitsune, Shinobu, Su(with a banana in her mouth) & Naru: No, you already won! Stop (runs toward the fallen warrior)! (Lee began to thrust his sword at the girl's head and the others gasped.)  
  
(If you thought Motoko was killed you were wrong, actually the crew gasped at the irony that Lee "deliberately" stuck the sword in the ground one centimeter away from her head, then he picks up his sword and sheaths it and the sword disappears.) (Motoko's friends stopped just a few feet away.)  
  
Lee: ( Picks up Motoko threshold style, and smiles at her friends) Well I think this battle is over don't you all agree?  
  
Shinobu: (uneasy) Uuuuuh, yeah.  
  
Naru: (Pissed) Who are you?  
  
Keitaro: How did you get here?  
  
Su: (On the brink of crying) Why did you kill our dear Motoko-san?  
  
Lee: First of all: Motoko is knocked out, NOT dead, and second I will explain everything, but we need to get "Little Hot Warrior Woman" to her room so I can heal her cuts, especially the one on her left side.  
  
Kitsune: (still hung-over) Well, I guess we are choiceless in the matter (Everyone walks towards the dorm).  
  
To be Continued  
  
That's all for now. You all know the drill, review if you like. If the fic is good or it sucks just say so. Just don't call me a fuckin' dumbass.  
Once again thanks to OmegaDragon for his story "Switching Lives" it inspired me to write this and a Special Thanks to the person who gave me my first review ever. 


	3. The Longass Explaination

Yo, yo, yo, I'm back again. College has been a bitch that's why posting this stuff is taking so long. Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina otherwise it would probably suck shit. I don't any of the characters in this fic, except myself. Now let's start this thing.  
  
The Long-Ass Explaination  
  
Lee: (while walking towards Hinata House while carrying the unconscious Motoko with the others in tow) I will explain everything though this story won't be easy for you all to understand.  
  
Keitaro: Just explain to us how you got here were not idiots.  
  
Lee: Alright, I came from a dimension where all of you are anime/manga characters created by a man with a kick-ass imagination(A.N.: You all should know who I'm talking about.).  
  
Naru: (Sarcastic) Yeah, and what's the name of this so called anime/manga that we are fictional characters in hmmm?  
  
Lee:..I'll tell you later. Now don't interrupt me!  
  
Kitsune: (Getting turned on) Oooh, a feisty guy we have here.  
  
Everyone: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOU TO GET HORNY!!!  
  
Keitaro: Can we move along with the story?  
  
Lee: Sure (runs into the door frame face first and everyone giggles while Lee ducks and enters the dorm). Very funny..well anyway I was reading a Love Hina Manga Volume 5 when a blue dimensional gateway appeared. Kitsune: What did you say the name of the manga was and was it the one that involves us?  
  
Lee: "Love Hina" and yes.  
  
Su: Is "Love Hina" a food?  
  
Lee: You're kidding right I just said what it was just a few seconds ago.  
  
Shinobu: Su is always like that.  
  
Kitsune: Moving right along, you got pulled into the gate into our dimension.  
  
Lee:That's the most of it.  
  
Shinobu: Did the rest of the story involve you landing in the hot spring in the Boiler Room that connected to.wherever Motoko was, saw her naked, and she freaked out as always, thus starting the whole conflict between you two?  
  
Lee: Yes, but I had my back to her so I didn't see her in the nude. {Damn!}  
  
Naru: Yeah right.  
  
Lee: (hits Naru with a mallet) I didn't ask for your input.  
  
Keitaro: Hey kid.  
  
Lee: Yes?  
  
Keitaro: We're outside Motoko's room.  
  
Lee: ( Looks at the door with Motoko's name on it) Oh, so we are.  
  
Naru: Did you even notice that we walked up a bunch of stairs?  
  
Lee: Uuuuuhhhhh, no (everyone stairs at him). What? (silence) Is there something on my face?  
  
Su: No, we just thought of something funny involving you and Motoko.  
  
Lee: (stairs at Su deadpanned) Let's just the bitch into her futon so I can heal the physical damage I inflicted on her (everyone enters the room and Lee rams his face into the door fame again, after that Lee set Motoko on her futon). Now I can start the healing process (opens his hands in the swordwoman's direction and she glowed a white color for 3 minutes, then the glowing ended).  
  
Naru: That's it?  
  
Lee: Yeah, what did you expect a romance to go with it?  
  
Naru: No.  
  
Lee: Then shut up, oh and the kendo-girl probably won't wake up for another 3 minutes.  
  
Shinobu: She's waking up now.  
  
Motoko: (just woke up) Huh..what.h-how did I get here?  
  
Keitaro: He carried you (points to Lee).  
  
Motoko: Why are my cuts gone?  
  
Naru: He healed you with some weird power I might add (points to Lee).  
  
Su: He also rammed his head into the door fame!  
  
Lee: (getting annoyed) {One would think the author would omit that part.} (Author speaks telepathically to Lee) {Remember you are based off of me except for the powers, spiritual possessions, and transformations, I made those up. Another thing since you are based off of me and I'm 6'8'' that means YOU ARE TOO NOW QUIT COMPLAINING!!!}  
  
Motoko: Oh, I guess you want me to thank you (blushes while trying to keep her composure).  
  
Lee: That would be nice since I could have left you to die.  
  
Motoko: Well, thank you.  
  
Lee: You're welcome.  
  
Shinobu: (Looks up at Lee) Uh, excuse me?  
  
Lee: What is it?  
  
Shinobu: What are you gonna do now? Lee: I don't know, usually when I get warped into another dimension I have never been to I set up a link between my dimension and the one I was pulled into, but since I was being pulled into the gateway so fast I only had time to set up a body double to live out my life as me until he can track me down set up another gateway leading home.  
  
Keitaro: A Body-double (looking dubious)?  
  
Lee: An real image of myself, it can walk, talk, and fight like me and it shares my interests. Su: He's a genius.  
  
Lee: Yep, even as we speak Lee 2 is trying tirelessly to find this dimension and set up a strong link so I can go home even though I kinda don't want to ( makes a dramatic pose)!  
  
*************  
  
Lee 2: (Watching .hack//sign) Damn, now I see why Lee loves this show so much.  
  
*************  
  
Kitsune: You're boned aren't you?  
  
Lee: Royally..anyway this place is nice. If I stayed here for a while I won't have superpowered wackos and bounty hunters tracking me down trying to kill me.  
  
Naru: {Oh no, nonononononono!}  
  
Lee: (point at the floor and a big red and black colored duffle bag appeared.) Can I stay with you guys?  
  
Naru: No, no,no,no! The last thing we need is another man living here and I'm sure everyone will agree with me. (Gets a bunch of blank stares) Goddammit!  
  
Lee: It's not like I want to, well actually I do, but the main reason is that I don't know anyone besides you guys, plus without that link I can't leave this dimension and I have nowhere else to go.  
  
Motoko: Normally I would be against it, but you did sort of saved my life.  
  
Su: I think you're funny!  
  
Lee: {That's because I hit my head twice.}  
  
Shinobu: Just another person to appreciate my cooking (smiles).  
  
Kitsune: If I get a hold of Keitaro I can always get a hold of you (reaches down Lee's shorts).  
  
Lee: (Electricutes Kitsune causing her to faint) Don't do that again. Naru: I guess if it's okay with them, then it's okay with me, but don't do anything..  
  
Lee: Perverted? When it comes down to it we're all perverted. Besides perverted is a mean way of saying hormonal..unless you're 13 and you have an interests in little kid ewwww (shudders).  
  
Kitsune: Looks like we got an intelligent guy this time.  
  
Lee: I thought you passed out.  
  
Keitaro: I guess you're gonna room with me.  
  
Lee: Cool, oh don't worry about an extra futon, I'll just use my powers to make my tail pop out, stick it in the ceiling, and sleep upside down like a Bat  
  
Sarah: (shows up out of nowhere) Hey what's going on? I've been asleep, but I heard loud noises all morning. (Looks way up at Lee) Hey, how did Shaq get in here?  
  
Lee: Whose the Smart-ass Shrimp with the backwards hat?  
  
Sarah: Don't call me Shrimp!  
  
Lee: Okay...Runt.  
  
Sarah: Don't call me Runt either!  
  
Lee: Alright, alright, Midget.  
  
Sarah: STOP!!  
  
Lee: Fine, Little Person.  
  
Sarah: Uuuuurggggghhhhh!!!  
  
Lee: Nice attitude and I'm not being sarcastic. {With her help I could pull off some decent pranks.} Oh my god I forgot to introduce myself. If I am going to stay here then I should at least get to know who you all are. I can't believe that I got so hung up on the conversations and healing Motoko after kicking her pretty ass that I forgot something as fundamental as that.  
  
Naru: You also forgot to off your basketball shoes.  
  
Lee: Oh yeah, but in my defense we had an emergency.  
  
Naru: I won't even try to argue with that. {Wouldn't want Motoko to take his side on this issue.}  
  
Lee: Okay, two of you I know by name so could everyone else tell who you all are.  
  
Su: I'm Su nice to meet you, wanna banana?  
  
Lee: Uh, sure (throws a banana into his mouth). {What's with this girl and food?}  
  
Shinobu: I'm Shinobu, how do you do (bows).  
  
Lee: I'm fine thank you.  
  
Kitsune: I am Mitsune Konno, but everyone calls me Kitsune.  
  
Lee: Cool. {Hey, doesn't Kitsune mean Fox?}  
  
Sarah: Yo, I'm Sarah and I am from America.  
  
Lee: I am also from America, don't worry in my dimension there isn't much of a difference.  
  
Sarah: What?  
  
Keitaro: Explain later.  
  
Naru: ( Talks like Talking Tina from the Twilight Zone) I'm Naru Narusegawa and I will be watching you.  
  
Lee: So many bounty hunters have said that.and they're dead. {This bitch must be the acting leader of the girls of this dorm. At least she is good looking, but I will still make her life hell.}  
  
Keitaro: You already met me and Motoko.  
  
Tama-chan: (flies into the room.) Myuh.  
  
Keitaro: This is Tama-chan.  
  
Lee: I am Lee.I won't say my last name.  
  
Keitaro: Well, I guess from here on out.  
  
All the dorm residents: WELCOME TO HINATA HOUSE!!!  
  
To be Continued  
  
Well that's it for now. Hope you all enjoyed it, if not, sorry to waste your time. Review if you wish. See you all later. 


	4. Daily Antics

What's up everyone? It's been a few weeks since my last chapter (if anyone was reading this unorthodoxed fic ). I passed out of my math class so I should have more free time now.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina if I did..aww you know by now. I don't know own the characters except the self-insert, got it? Good. I also don't own any songs by Junior Senior though I do own a copy of the CD. This chapter involves seven shorts spannning the first seven days that Lee spent with the Hinata residents. Later I will put in "Antics" short at the end of the remaining chapters. Most of those may or may not have anything to do with the main story.  
  
Daily Antics  
  
Antics 1:  
  
Motoko: YOU BASTARD!!!  
  
Lee: (Being chased by Motoko) I'm sorry I accidently saw you naked!  
  
Motoko: That's not good enough!  
  
Lee: You should be proud of your body it's beautiful!  
  
Motoko: (Blushes for five seconds and then gets mad.) Shut up! Boulder Cutting Blade (Lee dodges the attack)!  
  
Lee: Is that the best you got?  
  
Motoko: I'll show you!  
  
Lee: ( Spots Keitaro) Keitaro, take the fall (Jumps over him)!  
  
Keitaro: What the hell?  
  
Motoko: Hundred Profusion Strike (Ki blasts Keitaro through the roof)! (Stops) I feel a lot better now.  
  
Lee: Why, because you caused pain to an innocent bystander?  
  
Motoko: (Turns around to find Lee right behind her) Moto...(Get punched in the stomach and is out cold)  
  
Lee: (Disappointed) Try harder.  
  
Antics 2:  
  
(Lee and Sarah are putting duct tape on all of the other girl's doors while they were sleeping.)  
  
Sarah: Lee?  
  
Lee: What is it?  
  
Sarah: What is the point of this prank?  
  
Lee: You know when people really, really have to use the toilet they do the "Pee Pee Dance"?  
  
Sarah: Oh, I get it (smiles demonically).  
  
Lee: (Duct tapes Su's door) That's the last one. (Both pranksters hear Naru groaning)  
  
Sarah: Those are the most disturbing noises I have ever heard.  
  
Lee: It's coming from the bathroom so either Naru is masturbating or taking a major shit.(smiles demoncally) I'm so glad I set L-Cam 1 in the bathroom.  
  
Sarah: Eww, you're sick!  
  
Lee: Don't you remember, we rigged the toilet with a Cherry Bomb that was set to go off when someone takes a shit in the toilet.  
  
Sarah: Oh yeah (Both of them laugh). (They go to the bathroom)  
  
Sarah: (Knocks on the door) Naru are you using the crapper?  
  
Naru: Yes, Sarah I am.  
  
Lee: (Starts duct taping the door while Sarah ducts tapes the bottom crack of the door) {I'm gonna love this.} (Two minutes later)  
  
Naru: Finally I'm done (flushes the toilet). (Beep, beep, beep) What's that noise? (Beeeeeeeeeeep) *BOOM* (Naru screams as the cherry bomb detonates sending a lot of dirty water through the roof with Naru on it.) Sarah and Lee: That was so cool (highfives each other, of course Lee had to pick up Sarah for that to work, while all the other girls are trying to open their doors, but can't.)  
  
Motoko: What trickery is this?  
  
Su: What's going on?  
  
Shinobu: I..I'm locked in!  
  
Kitsune: I can't get this door open.  
  
All the trapped girls: AND I REALLY NEED TO GO!!! ( Lee and Sarah are laughing manically)  
  
Lee: This is rich!  
  
Sarah: Yeah, thanks for planning this prank.  
  
Lee: You're welcome. Hey, what did you do to Keitaro anyway?  
  
Sarah: I taped his ass-cheeks together.  
  
Lee: Like on "The Breakfast Club".  
  
Keitaro: (From his room) Ooooooooooowwwwwww!  
  
Sarah: (laughs) Oh my god.  
  
Lee: Oh shit (laughs).  
  
Motoko: Boulder Cutting Blade! (Breaks the door down)  
  
Sarah: Oh shit we gotta get.  
  
Lee: On it. ( Grabs Sarah and latches onto the ceiling like a ninja) (Motoko broke everyone out.)  
  
Kitsune: Who the hell would do this?  
  
Motoko: I can name one person. Everyone who got punk'd: LEE!  
  
Shinobu: (Notices the door buldging) Uh guys? There is something wrong with the door.  
  
Keitaro: Let me take care of this, I am the Landlord after all. (Opens the door and all the toilet water comes flooding out)  
  
Everyone who got punk'd: Looks like the Hinata Residents just washed out!  
  
Lee: That lined sucked.  
  
Sarah: Pokemon rip off.  
  
(Outside)  
  
Naru: (Barely concious) What a morning.  
  
Antics: 3  
  
(Naru hears loud music blasting from Kitsune's room.)  
  
Naru: What the hell is going on in there? (Opens the door and the music was so loud she flew through three rooms and out the window.)  
  
Kitsune: (Try to yell over the Junior Senior CD) THIS IS COOL!  
  
Lee: I KNOW! (CD ends)  
  
Kitsune: I like the Move Your Feet track.  
  
Lee: (starts singing the chorus) "Everybody I want to see and feel united oooooh."  
  
Kitsune: (Follows suit) "Everybody I want to see and feel united ooooh."  
  
(A.N.: I don't know if I got the lyrics right. The quotes are there because I don't want to be accused of plagarisim)  
  
Naru: Et tu Kitsune?  
  
(A.N.: Et tu is Roman for you too.)  
  
Antics: 4  
  
(Keitaro wakes up to hear a tape recording of Lee (TRL))  
  
TRL: Hello Keitaro, today is Evaluation Day.  
  
Keitaro: What the hell?  
  
TRL: Today, I'm going to talk about value, do you have any?  
  
Keitaro: Yes.  
  
TRL: NO BECAUSE YOU'RE A PUSSY!!!  
  
Keitaro: (pissed) What?!  
  
TRL: You heard me.  
  
Keitaro: No I'm not!  
  
TRL: Yes you are and everyone in all of Hinata knows it.  
  
Keitaro: {Dammit, he has a point there.}  
  
TRL: Don't worry, when I'm done with you, Su, Sarah, Naru, and Motoko won't beat you up as much.  
  
Keitaro: Well that might be good.  
  
TRL: Now, there is a big surprise behind you, reach for it without looking.  
  
Keitaro: (Does so but he feels something familiar)  
  
Naru: ( Gets pissed and punches Keitaro sending him into another room) PERVERT!!! (Leaves the room)  
  
(Lee teleports into the room after Naru left)  
  
Lee: (Laughing) {Watching Keitaro get his ass kicked will never get old.}  
  
Antics: 5  
  
(Motoko is on the dorm roof practicing chops or whatever)  
  
Lee: (Watching Motoko from behind) {Is that what kendo students practice? It looks likes she's doing "the Chop", which gives me an idea.} (Opens his Clarinet case, assembles the instrument and starts playing the "Indian Chant")  
  
Motoko: ( Entranced by the accelerating rhythim synchonizes with her slashes) {Where did this music come from? It's so hypnotic.must be sosmething evil!}  
  
Lee: {Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, this is easy.wait a minute Motoko is sharper than this.} (Stops playing and catches a knife that was aimed at his clarinet)  
  
Motoko: I had a feeling that the evil music came from you.  
  
Lee: (annoyed) Are you calling my clarinet playing evil?!  
  
Motoko: (smiles) Evil people do evil deeds.  
  
Lee: (clarinet disappears and Lee shoved his fist into his palm) Lets go. (Both of them got into a fighting stance)  
  
Motoko: I'm making the first move this time, (charges) Hundred Profusion Strike! (Lee drops a smoke bomb and disappeared from view.)   
  
Lee: I'm here stupid! ( Elbows Motoko in the back)  
  
Motoko: (Holds her back in pain) Y-y-y.  
  
Lee: I know I know "You bastard" you would say that to any man who could kick your ass or compliment you on anything. What are you a dyke or something?  
  
Motoko: Uuuurrrrrggggghhhh!!  
  
Lee: (Nonchalant) By the way there's a turtle on your head. (Motoko looks up to find Tama on her head)  
  
Tama-chan: Myuh.  
  
Motoko: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH, GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY!!!! (Runs around flailing her sword for a minute before Lee clotheslines her knocking her out.)  
  
Tama-chan: Myuh!  
  
Lee: I agree, she's afraid of turtles..that's not normal, oh that reminds me I got to feed Shelby! (A.N.: In case you don't remember or don't know, Shelby is Lee's Desert Tortoise, but unlike Tama, Shelby is normal.) Catch you later Sexy Kendo Bitch whose Afraid of Turtles. (Walks off with Tama flying after him.)  
  
(A.N.: I'm so mean.)  
  
Antics: 6  
  
Naru: (Emerges from her room and as soon as she took a step into the hallway she slips and falls hard on her ass.) Ouch!  
  
Su: Naru, what's whoa! (slips) (In fact the insideous slippage affected all the girls within the dorm. So, after minutes of that annoyance the girls gathered outside Keitaro's door.)  
  
Kitsune: Keitaro, Open up! ( A half asleep Keitaro answered)  
  
Keitaro: What do you gals want?  
  
Naru: (pissed) Where is Lee?  
  
Keitaro: I don't know, he left this morning and he didn't say where.  
  
Su: (slides around) Wheeeeeeeeee!  
  
Sarah: Dammit Lee where are you?!  
  
Lee: (Descends upside down from the ceiling) You called?  
  
Motoko: (points her sword at him) Explain your action NOW!!!  
  
Lee: I waxed the floor before I went to go exchange currency.  
  
Shinobu: So this isn't a joke?  
  
Lee: No! Can't a guy do something nice for the people who were nice enough to let me stay here?  
  
Motoko: ( puts away her sword) I apologize, I should not have assumed.  
  
Lee: I've got a feeling that you all will be doing a lot of apologizing for the same reason. (Hands Keitaro an envelope) That's my rent for the month. Now if you all will excuse me I am trying to mop the ceiling. (Ascends back to ceiling)  
  
Naru: That's nice of him.  
  
Sarah: Wait a minute, you can't mop a ceiling! (All the girls look up and were shocked to find Lee mopping ceiling as if it was the floor.)  
  
Kitsune: ( Scratches ther head) That's impressive I guess.  
  
Shinobu: How does the water stay in that bucket?  
  
Motoko: That guy sure is unusual.  
  
Keitaro: I concur.  
  
Antics: 7 (The last one yaaaaaay!)  
  
Keitaro: (Half asleep while walking downstairs) {That was a weird dream last night, I dreamt I fell down the stairs.} (Trips and falls down the stairs) {Maybe it was a premonition.}  
  
Kitsune & Shinobu: Good morning Keitaro!  
  
Keitaro: Morning.  
  
Sarah & Su: Heyo! (kicks Keitaro)  
  
Keitaro: (Gets up) Ow, I have a feeling that this is going to be a bad day.  
  
Lee: (Falls on Keitaro) Damn, that landing sucked balls, oh hey K-Dawg, sorry about the landing.  
  
Keitaro: Don't mention it. (struggles to getup and accidently touches Naru's boobs) Oh no, NOT NOW PLEASE!!!  
  
Naru: PERVERT!!! (Punches him towards Lee whose back is turned)  
  
Lee: FUCKIN' BITCH!!! (kicks Keitaro back at Naru)  
  
Naru: Oh no! (Punches him back at Lee)  
  
Lee: Noway! (punches him back at Naru)  
  
Naru: You are not going to win, not this time! (kicks Keitaro straight up)  
  
Lee: (Jumps high in the air) SPIKE!!! (spikes Keitaro using his left fist and Keitaro fell at Naru like a meteor, causing her to get driven through the hole into the Boiler Room.) L-cam did you get all that? (a small black hi-tech video camera floated to Lee's position)  
  
L-cam: Yes.  
  
(A.N.: L-cam is a Lee's hi-tech camera that follows him everywhere and usually remains incognito until Lee calls for it. It communicates either by a digital message in it's lens or by opening a compartment that holds a sign with the response.)  
  
Sarah: Cool "Spaz Volleyball" Tits vs. Giant  
  
Su: Yes, and Giant won!  
  
Lee:   
  
Motoko: (from her room) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Kitsune: That came from Motoko's room.  
  
Shinobu: Something's wrong! (Everyone who was still conscious ran to Motoko's room and when they got there they found a half naked Motoko cowaring in fear of a Desert Tortoise, but she thinks it's a turtle.)  
  
Motoko: T-t-t-t-t-t-turtle! Get it way! (Holds Lee) Don't let it get me PLEASE!!!!!  
  
Lee: (Blushes) Okay, okay, calm down. (See's his tortoise and laughs) Motoko, it's nothing to be afraid of, it's just Shelby. (picks up his pet and teleports in front of the freaked out Motoko) C'mon (holds the reptile close to her nose) it won't attack you. {Unless it's hungry.}  
  
Motoko: (Terrified) H-h-hello? (Shelby opens her mouth) AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Lee: Whoa, looks likes she's hungry.  
  
Su: Yay, let's cook her! (Lee gives her a cold stare and then punches her through a few floors into the Boiler Room.)  
  
*****  
  
Naru: I knew this would be a bad day.  
  
Keitaro: I woke up in pain. (Su lands on him) Awww shit it got worse.  
  
Lee: (From Motoko's room) Motoko?  
  
Motoko: Yeah?  
  
Lee: Nice rack.  
  
Motoko: You AAAAAHHHHHH GET IT AWAY!!!! (falls through the floor and onto Keitaro)  
  
Keitaro: OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!  
  
Lee: Sorry!  
  
Sarah: Don't be sorry for him he's a dork.  
  
Author: Yay I'm finally done!  
  
Shinobu: Wait what about Tama-chan? (Scene shifts to Tama bouncing around in the hot spring.)  
  
Tama-chan: Myuh, myuh, myuh!  
  
Author: You happy now?  
  
Shinobu: Yes, Thank you.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
Gawd, I'm finally done with this chapter! Disregard the stuff I wrote before the disclaimer. I was planning to post this a month ago, but my house was being remodeled so I had to dissconnect the computer for a month. I'm sorry I took so long to post this (for those of you who cared). Happy Holidays. 


	5. The Gawked at Couple

Lee3: Yes I'm finally back. { School's a bitch!}  
  
Naru: Just run the disclaimer.  
  
Lee3: (knocks out Naru) I don't the Love Hina characters if I did Naru would die every episode.  
  
Su: (jumps on Lee's back) But you do own the Self Insertion character.  
  
Lee3: Of course I own myself moron. I also own Renegade and Angelica two Bounty Hunters who will be making an appearance in this chapter and chapter 5, now get off (throws Su)! LET'S RUN IT!!!!  
  
The Gawked At Couple  
  
(Motoko wakes up and thinks about her latest predicament)  
  
Motoko: {I can't believe I was defeated nine times by a man who has only been here a week, but that's nothing compared to the mistake I made yesterday.}  
  
(A.N.: This flashback is going to took place during Antics 7 after Lee beat her in battle a second time in one day (All the other days it was once a day.) I didn't have time to add in fight scenes for seven parts of chapter 3.)  
  
*****Flashback********  
  
Lee: You think you look so bad in a miniskirt..why?  
  
Motoko: Because of my height, what do you think?  
  
Lee: I think you would look great in something like that.  
  
Motoko: (whines) Everyone stares at me.  
  
Lee: Look, tomorrow you have to go get food for everyone right?  
  
Motoko: Right.  
  
Lee: I'll go with you.  
  
Motoko: Why?  
  
Lee: 1. I kinda like you. 2: I'm the only one here who hits his head against doorframes because of my height, so maybe I can attract some attention away from you.  
  
Motoko: * sigh * Okay fine.  
  
******Back to present*******  
  
Motoko: { Why oh why did I agree to that?}  
  
Lee: Yo Motocross, (Motoko glares at Lee who is standing behind the doorway) it's 9:00a.m., move your ass so we can eat and go grocery shopping (walks off)!  
  
Motoko: {I hate it when you call me Motocross!}  
  
****In the Dining Hall*****  
  
(Everyone minus Lee and Shinobu are making fun of Motocross, uh I mean Motoko.)  
  
Kitsune: (Laughing maniacally)  
  
Naru: (Whispers to Motoko) I can't believe you agreed to be accompanied by Lee of all people.  
  
Motoko: (Talks out loud) It's just to prove a point! (Everyone stares and Motoko blushes)  
  
Kitsune: Suuuuurrrrrre it is.  
  
Lee: Hey shut up Fox Lady! Why don't you go pull on Keitaro's extremely small dick or something.  
  
Keitaro: Hey! (Everyone laughs at Keitaro's expense) DAMN YOU ALL!!!  
  
(A.N.: I love that part.)  
  
Motoko: { At least Lee drew attention away from me.}  
  
Su: I win, I win, I win!  
  
Lee: You got lucky.  
  
Su: So what? I just beat you at Speed Eating!  
  
Lee: { Fuck she's good.} Motoko: Can we go now?  
  
Lee: Alright. (Both of them put their shoes on and walked out the door.)  
  
Naru: What was that about?  
  
Kitsune: I don't know, but I know what I'm feeling.  
  
Keitaro: (freaking out) Get your hand out of there!  
  
Naru: Grrrrrrrr!  
  
*******  
  
Lee: So how are you this morning?  
  
Motoko: Terrible (both of them hear Keitaro screaming while flying through the air).  
  
Lee: Well we both know you're doing better than that guy.  
  
Motoko: For once I agree with you.  
  
Lee: What do you all see in that guy?  
  
Motoko: I don't know.  
  
Lee: (Sarcastic) Really?  
  
Motoko: Hey, I don't like him!  
  
Lee: Oh really? Because something tells me that you are full of shit.  
  
Motoko: Oh look public transportation { Thank God.}!  
  
Lee: Now we will see that I'm right about who will attract the onlookers. (They boarded the bus and Lee hit his head against the doorframe and the bar.) Great not only that everyone is looking at me like I'm Shaq, but now they are laughing at me because I hit my head twice in ten seconds.  
  
Motoko: Gee, and I thought I'd be embarassed.  
  
Lee: Wow, we haven't reached the store yet and I am already proving my point.  
  
Motoko: How tall did you say you were again?  
  
Lee: 6'8" why?  
  
Motoko: Nothing (blushes).  
  
Lee: Isn't this our stop (points to the store)?  
  
Motoko: Yes (pulls the cord, the bus stops and the "Outcast Couple" disembarks.)  
  
Everyone in the bus: DAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!  
  
(A.N.: The passengers were referring to both Lee and Motoko.)  
  
Motoko: We are a couple of outcasts aren't we?  
  
Lee: (stoic) Yes, yes we are.  
  
*******  
  
Haruka: So based on what you all told me: Who thinks Lee and Motoko will be making out on the way back (Everyone raises their hands)? Who thinks they're gonna be fighting each other on the way back (everyone raises their hands)? Who thinks this is good for them because them because they bad mouth each others' genders and think my nephew is a pussy with no balls and dick (everyone raises their hands)? Finally, who doesn't give a flyin' fuck (No one raises their hands)?  
  
(A.N.: In case you didn't know Haruka asking the other Hinata Residence those questions.)  
  
Keitaro: I have balls!  
  
Kitsune & Sarah: Not much of them.  
  
(Everyone excepts Keitaro laughs)  
  
(A.N.: I'm laughing right now.)  
  
*********  
  
(Motoko and Lee exit the store each carrying two plastic bags full of food and drinks mainly soda.)  
  
Motoko: I can't believe that Bag Boy thought you were my father.  
  
Lee: I can't believe the manager thought we were dating, then he asked " How do you do it?" and we both know what happened (sees a half dead manager in aisle 5 courtesy of Lee's fist).  
  
Motoko: I can't believe you kicked his ass as well as those little kids who looked up my skirt.  
  
Lee: Hey, those smartasses looked at me and made Michael Jordan and Shaq jokes, then they asked if I was Yao Ming. {I'm still trying to figure that one out.} After that they grabbed your ass.  
  
Motoko: Two of those kids were girls and I think they were lesbians.  
  
Lee: (apathetic) Aw who cares.  
  
(The two start walking and five minutes later Lee saw a 7'7" version of Vash the Stampede with green hair, no glasses, no trench coat, but he had a black shirt with a sword on it.)  
  
(Lee just stopped and the 20 year old man passed by him.)  
  
Lee: (With fear and suspicion) Hey, I know you (the man stops and turns around to see Lee facing him.) RENEGADE!!!!  
  
Renegade: Lee?!  
  
Lee: What the fuck are you doing here?!  
  
Renegade: Me? What the fuck are you doing here?!  
  
Lee: I was pulled into this dimension!  
  
Renegade: We are on vacation. (Motoko walks up to the two conversationalists.)  
  
Motoko: Lee are you coming or what? (sees Renegade) Who is this, a friend of yours?  
  
Lee & Renegade: NO WE ARE NOT FRIENDS AND WE NEVER WILL BE!!!!  
  
Motoko: {This man and Lee seem to hate each other, plus Lee seems to be afraid of this guy despite his composure.} Who is he?  
  
(A.N.: What composure?)  
  
Lee: Remember those super-powered wackos and bounty hunters I mentioned the first few days I was here?  
  
Motoko: Yeah.  
  
Lee: Well he's one of the bounty hunters, his name is Renegade and he is one the best in his entire family.  
  
Motoko: You mean his entire family are bounty hunters?  
  
Lee: Yeah.  
  
Motoko: (sweatdrops) Damn.  
  
Lee: Wait a minute.Renegade what did you mean when you said "We are on vacation"?  
  
Renegade: I brought my little sister with me.  
  
Lee: No not her!!!  
  
Motoko: Who are you two talking about?  
  
Lee: (Wasn't listening) You can't couldn't have brought..  
  
Renegade: Yes, Angelica (points to a group of tables were a 5' 11", purple haired attractive woman sat.)  
  
Motoko: What's so bad about her?  
  
Lee: You sure as hell don't wanna know.  
  
To be Continued  
  
There I've got another chapter done. The next one is my favorite and I'll get it up as soon as I can...if you care. 


	6. The Big Rig Chase

Lee3: Hey everyone.... why is it cold in here?  
  
Kitsune: I had the air conditioner set at 40 degrees.  
  
Lee3: Fahrenheit?  
  
Kitsune: No wonder it's cold.  
  
Lee3: {Learn the standard system idiot.} I would have posted this back in May, but with all the home remodeling I never got the chance. Plus, my family got a new computer and for some reason I couldn't access the file that had this chapter almost finished so now I have to start over again.  
  
Kitsune: Can we start the fic now?  
  
Lee3: I don't own any of the characters except the self-insert and I am using a little bit of "Sonic Adventure 2" and "Family Matters" for comedic purposes.  
  
Kitsune: Let's go nownownownownownownow......  
  
Lee3: (hits Kitsune with a sledgehammer) Finally, some silence. RUN IT!  
  
The Big Rig Chase  
  
Lee: You brought that sexy psycho bitch here?!  
  
Renegade: Yep, don't worry we won't try to kill you until our vacation is over.  
  
Motoko: (Whispers to Lee) Who's this Angelica, is she that scary?  
  
Lee: (whispers back) Yes, she's very psychotic, and right now she is staring at us.  
  
Motoko: So?  
  
Lee: When she sees me, she tries to kill me, and another thing since you are with me she will try to kill you too.  
  
Renegade: Oh I forgot the price on your head went up.  
  
Lee: What is it now?  
  
Renegade: Too high to count. If I weren't on vacation I would've made another attempt to take your life the second I saw you.  
  
Lee: Remember I have to be brought in alive in order for you to get the bounty, only then you get to kill me.  
  
Renegade: I hate that rule.  
  
Motoko: Lee, everyone is waiting for us to get back home.  
  
Lee: Oh yeah thanks. Sorry jerk-off, but we gotta go (turns and walks off with Motoko).  
  
Motoko: Well, it looks like we both attracted attention to each other in public just by looking at me in this miniskirt and you with your height.  
  
Lee: Like you said we're a couple of outcasts.

Angelica: That was Lee wasn't it?  
  
Renegade: Yeah, so what?  
  
Angelica: Why don't we just go get him and that pretty girl he was with?  
  
Renegade: Because we are on vacation, hence the keyword va-ca-tion.  
  
Angelica: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!!!  
  
Renegade: After all of my training I thought I taught you patience.  
  
Angelica: Look, if you won't go after them, then I will (walks off)  
  
Renegade: Don't you do anything stupid.  
  
Angelica: (being flirtatious) You know me...lover (runs off)!  
  
Renegade: That's what I'm talking about! {Wait did she add lover to that last statement? Oh man, now I know why she is the "oddball" of the family.}  
  
Su: What is taking them so long.  
  
Keitaro: Su, just relax they'll be back.  
  
Su: But I'm so hungry!  
  
Naru: Dammit Su, you're always hungry!  
  
Shinobu: They'll be back.  
  
Sarah: Yeah, unless they're making out or trying to kill each other.  
  
Keitaro: Or both (long pause)!  
  
Everyone: Naaah!

Motoko: Lee?  
  
Lee: Yes?  
  
Motoko: (shyly) When you said you kinda liked me...did you....mean it?  
  
Lee: Hey, check this out (Motoko falls over anime style).  
  
Motoko: Weren't you even listening to me?!  
  
Lee: Everyone on that particular street is fleeing in terror (looks at the people running).  
  
Motoko: Wonder what's going on?  
  
Lee: Yo dude, what's going on?  
  
Paranoid Guy: Some purple haired psycho-bitch is driving a gigantic big rig and is on a rampage, RUN!!!  
  
Motoko: Sounds like that Angelica woman.  
  
Lee: But she can't drive (walks towards the street of chaos that's now empty). Oh fuck.  
  
Motoko: (runs to wear Lee is standing) What's wrong (Looks in the direction Lee is facing)? Oh.  
  
Angelica: (Driving a Big Rig that's 3 times the size of a normal one.) So, do you like what you see?  
  
Lee: You mean you or the truck?  
  
Angelica: The truck you idiot!  
  
Lee: Oh, then yeah!  
  
Motoko: I don't know whether that's funny or stupid.  
  
Lee: Alright Lee and that hot, sexy looking girl who is with him (getting turned on), prepare yourselves!  
  
Motoko: (getting annoyed) My name is Motoko.  
  
Lee: Oh my god, you were getting turned on when you described Motoko!  
  
Motoko: I don't know if that's good or bad.  
  
Lee: {And she thinks Keitaro is an idiot.} It means she's bi as well as full of incest.  
  
Motoko: (shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn't care) Who cares?  
  
Angelica: Hello, I'm trying to kill you here.

(Lee3 interrupts the fic)  
  
Lee3: Heh, heh, for this next part think "Family Matters" (the show with Steve Urkel).

Lee: (starts humming) Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, sword, sword, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm pull your sword out now.  
  
Motoko: (sings) I left my sword at home, I know what you're thinking.  
  
Lee: (Looks at Motoko annoyed) What the fuck is wrong with you?  
  
Angelica: (over the megaphone) Oh the do da day!  
  
Lee: sigh I guess I'll have to take care of this myself. Could you hold these bags?  
  
Motoko: Are you gonna try to destroy that thing (holds the bags)?  
  
Lee: Yes (sword materializes).  
  
Angelica: Just try it.  
  
(Lee unsheathes his sword and slashes the truck several times, but there was no effect.)  
  
Angelica: This truck is made of a metal that is of a dimension only my family knows of (tries to shoot Lee with the laser gun, but he back-flipped out of the way.).  
  
Motoko: I thought your sword could cut anything.  
  
Lee: Well yeah, anything on earth.  
  
Motoko: So what do we do ?  
  
Lee: Yes, but first (looks up at the sky) hey narrator!  
  
Lee3: Yeah?  
  
Lee: I need some cool chase music!  
  
Lee3: Hang on (short pause). Remember the music from "Sonic Adventure 2 Battle" when Sonic is being chased by a Semi?  
  
Lee: Yeah, City Escape 2 was the track.... at least I think it was.  
  
Lee3: Glad, you remember because I'm playing that.  
  
Lee: Decent, Motoko, forgive me for this (picks up Motoko and hold her under his right arm). Damn you're light.  
  
Motoko: (blushes) Just shut up!  
  
Lee: Here we go (runs at super-speed and the music plays).  
  
Angelica: You won't get away from me (chases after them in the rig)! I'll get you Lee and Mitsuki!  
  
Motoko: IT'S MOTOKO!!!  
  
(Knowing that leading Angelica back to Kanagawa is a bad idea Lee decided to run around Tokyo, hoping that either Angelica's rig would either run out of gas or crash into something and stop. Unfortunately, the giant 18 wheeler's 18 tanks were nowhere near empty and it showed no signs of slowing down after crashing through.... Well everything. All this spanned in 1hour and Lee had no idea what he was doing, much like the author writing this fic.)  
  
Motoko: Lee do you have any idea what you are doing?  
  
Lee: No, I thought this would end like in the game "Sonic Adventure 2 Battle"!  
  
Motoko: How did it end?  
  
Lee: The semi crashed into a low arch and halted.  
  
Motoko: Oh, but right now we are dealing with a psycho-bitch driving a gigantic big rig that has totaled 46 buildings and is about to fire!  
  
Lee: What? {Goddammit, I didn't I sense it sooner?} (Angelica fired her Plasma Cannon, Lee leapt to avoid the shot, but not the concussion.) Damn!  
  
Motoko: The fact you are still running and that we still have everything is beyond me as well as the readers.  
  
Lee: Well, maybe the author is trying to be somewhat original.  
  
Motoko: I usually think that this is cowardly, but let's hide at that store we were in.  
  
Lee: Better than nothing (Lee sprints, makes a few turns and runs into the store.)  
  
Motoko: Let's hide in the back.  
  
Lee: Decent (Lee heads for the back door, but stops when he sees Haruka.).  
  
Motoko: Why did.... Haruka?  
  
Haruka: Motoko, Lee, what are you two doing here?  
  
Lee: There's no time to explain, you and everyone else needs to get out of here immediately (truck crashes through the back wall and stops)!  
  
(Everyone flees except the three morons.)  
  
Haruka: I'm assuming that's the reason why we need to get moving (leaves).  
  
Angelica: Now you two will die (opens all missile bays)!  
  
Motoko: Get us outta here!  
  
Lee: I'm on it (phases through all the aisles and the side wall)!  
  
Angelica: Like that matters: (starts doing stupid poses) targets locked, ready FIRE (Launches all missiles blowing up the store while 2 missiles are chasing Motoko and Lee who are unaware of the explosives of death on their asses.)!!!

(Keitaro runs into the girl's bath)  
  
Keitaro: Hey everyone!  
  
Naru: Don't you ever knock (about to send Keitaro flying into orbit while Kitsune is laughing)!?!  
  
Keitaro: Lee and Motoko are on TV!  
  
Naru, Shinobu, Kitsune, Su: What?!

Motoko: Let's stop for a second.  
  
Lee: (breathing heavily) Good....idea (stops).  
  
Motoko: Think we lost her?  
  
Lee: Somehow I doubt it (suddenly a bunch of news reporters appeared out of nowhere holding microphones close to Lee and Motoko) Whoa (drops Motoko)!  
  
Motoko: Ow, hey why did you do that...? Oh.

Kitsune: Turn it up Tama-chan!  
  
Tama: Myuh (cranks up the volume).  
  
(on television)  
  
Reporter1: Live on channel 9 news a rampage involving two teens being chased by a monstrous big rig driven by a crazy lady has destroyed 1/6 of Tokyo. I am standing in front of the two victims who are dealing with every reporter in the country.  
  
Reporter2: Why are you two being pursued?  
  
Lee: Because the driver wants us dead. {Dipshit.}  
  
Reporter1: (beats up five other reporters) Why haven't you two called the police yet?  
  
Motoko: There is no way in hell they would be able to help us, not that we need it.  
  
Lee: {Good answer samurai.}  
  
Dumb Reporter: Are you Shaq?  
  
Lee: No.  
  
Dumb Reporter: David Robinson?  
  
Lee: (getting annoyed) No.  
  
Dumb Reporter: Dennis Rodman?  
  
Lee: Hell no (Motoko giggles as well as the rest of the Hinata residents watching the news.)!  
  
Naru: What an idiot.  
  
Keitaro: I agree.  
  
Su: Does anyone want a banana?  
  
Sarah: Two more questions and Lee is gonna hit that guy.  
  
Dumb Reporter: Michael Jordan?  
  
(A.N.: I get that one a lot.)  
  
Lee: (getting mad) No (Motoko laughing hysterically)!  
  
Dumb Reporter: Oh, I know who you are.  
  
Lee: (sarcastic) Oh, who then: Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, or maybe the video game character Astaroth?  
  
Dumb Reporter: No, Yao Ming (Motoko is rolling over laughing)!  
  
Lee: C'mere (Dumb Reporter approaches striking distance), listen you stupid shit-head (uppercuts him 50 feet into a helicopter). DO I LOOK LIKE A 7'6" CHINESE GUY TO YOU?!!  
  
Stupid Reporter: But you are an NBA player right?  
  
Lee: (kicks the idiot into a building) Dumbass.  
  
Reporter 5: (Looks at Motoko who just got up) And how about you young lady are you this gentleman's girlfriend?  
  
Motoko: (Punches her into six other reporters and their camera crews into another building) NO!  
  
Lee: Nice punch.  
  
Motoko: You too (hears a hissing noise from a distance). Lee, you hear that?  
  
Lee: Sounds like a missile (sees a missile coming towards them).  
  
Lee, Motoko, & the Hinata Residents watching the TV: IT IS A MISSILE!!!  
  
(Once again Lee picks up Motoko, who is still holding the bags with all contents inside and takes off, while kicking over two cop cars, jumps on the hoods of five more, while the 2 missiles hits the reporters.)

(The Hinata residents got fuzz on their TV due to the fact that the missile knocked out the news signal.)  
  
Kitsune & Naru: Dammit, we lost the picture!  
  
Shinobu: Sempai....are Lee and Motoko gonna die?  
  
Keitaro: Of course not.  
  
Naru: If Lee died that would be a good thing.  
  
(Shinobu runs away crying)  
  
Naru: Uh, oh.  
  
Keitaro, Kitsune, Su, and Sarah: (glares at Naru) You made Shinobu cry!

Naru: I'm sor...(gets beat up by the 4 angry people)  
  
Haruka: Hey guys Lee and Motoko are on their way (shows up out of nowhere).  
  
Su: Yay, yay they're on their way yaaaaaaaaay!  
  
Keitaro: I think we knew that already.

Lee: (standing in front of the Tokyo Tower) Motoko, is there an area away from a lot of people that's on the way to Hinata House?  
  
Motoko: Yes, it's that way (points southeastward).  
  
Lee: Good (runs in that direction). Hey what happened to Angelica and her Big Rig from Hell (the truck bashes through a building behind them)?  
  
Motoko: I believe that answered your question.  
  
Angelica: I can't believe you are still alive!  
  
Motoko: I think you have poor aim.  
  
Angelica: You bitch (fires a positron laser at Motoko, but Lee's tail emerged and fired a positron laser that engulfed the other laser and destroyed the gun.)!  
  
Angelica: Nooooooooo, YOU BASTARD!!  
  
Motoko: Whoa, thank you.  
  
Lee: Your welcome.....are we near the area you pointed out to me?  
  
Motoko: We will be there in twenty seconds.  
  
(A.N.: Whoa, when did Motoko get so intelligent in something other than Japanese Swordplay?)  
  
Lee: Tell me when we get there.  
  
Angelica: I don't know what you two are planning, but you will not make it through this day alive (fires her full arsenal)!  
  
(Lee turned his left hand into a laser gun that fires all kinds of lasers.)  
  
Motoko: What are you gonna do with that?  
  
Lee: I'm gonna show you that Su isn't the only techno freak. Hey narrator, play "Around the World" by Daft Punk!  
  
Lee3: You got it (stops the Sonic music and plays the Daft Punk track).  
  
(A.N.: What? I was listening to that CD at the time.)  
  
Motoko: Need the beat?  
  
Lee: Yeah (Fires lasers at the trucks guns and missile bays, destroying them).  
  
Angelica: MY GUNS!! That's it, I'm gonna run you two over (hits the gas and is slowly catching up to them)!  
  
Motoko: We're here!  
  
Lee: Good (reverts the gun back into a hand). Did I tell you that I can mimic moves no matter where it comes from?  
  
Motoko: No. Are you gonna mimic a Dragon Ball Z move?  
  
Lee: Yes.  
  
Motoko: Uh oh (closes her eyes).  
  
Lee: (turns and starts running backwards) SOLAR FLARE (a bright light flashes blinding Angelica!!!  
  
Angelica: Ahhhh, it burns, it burns (flips the truck on its left side)!  
  
Lee: (stops and sets Motoko down) Now you're mine.  
  
Motoko: What are you gonna do?  
  
Lee: (pulls out a bigger, more advanced version of an AK 47) I'm gonna use my AK 199 (shoots up the front window, shattering the glass)!  
  
Motoko: Why, didn't you do that before?  
  
Lee: Didn't think of it (holds out his hand and an orange grenade materializes). Watch this (pulls the pin).  
  
Motoko: You're not gonna throw that thing are ya (Lee runs towards the truck)? Holy shit he is (throw it into the broken window near Angelica's face).  
  
Lee: (Runs and picks up Motoko using his tail) We have one minutes to get out of this area!  
  
Motoko: Don't tell me the explosion is that big!?  
  
Lee: Okay, I won't tell you.  
  
(Angelica woke up to find the grenade finish its countdown and project a holographic version of Lee giving the finger.) Oh shit (the grenade explodes destroying the big rig with the with the psycho in it)!

Haruka: They should have been back by now.  
  
Keitaro: No shit Sherlock.  
  
Su: (shows up holding what looks like a Dragon Ball radar) Hey guys I just built my Brand Spankin' New Outcast Radar!  
  
Shinobu: Uh Su, don't you have to put a transmitter on one of them for that to work?  
  
Su: I forgot!  
  
Naru: Don't worry it's just the hunger.  
  
Haruka: Why are you so cheery?  
  
Naru: I'm sure they will be back soon.  
  
Keitaro: {The hunger pangs are so crazy they must have Naru acting supportive of both fighters instead of one of them.}

(Back at ground zero Renegade went to console his little sister.)  
  
Angelica: (walks away from the wreckage) Brother?  
  
Renegade: Check this out, they're profiles on these jackasses (hands her photos and descriptions of the Hinata Residents.) and one of them is Motoko Aoyama the girl he was with.  
  
Angelica: So Lee is with these clods huh?  
  
Renegade: Unfortunately, I don't know where they live and Lee is hard to track so we will have to wait until one of them leaves again.  
  
Angelica: Perfect!  
  
Renegade: Let's go we're still on vacation!  
  
Angelica: {Oh, big brother.} Coming.

Outside the Hinata House

Motoko: We made it.  
  
Lee: (breathing heavily, but recovering quickly) You're.....telling me.  
  
Motoko: (monotonous) Did you enjoy carrying me around?  
  
Lee: (Nonchalant) I not gonna lie to you, yes I did.  
  
Motoko: I thought so (runs up the steps, but stops to find Lee on the bottom step looking through binoculars). What are you doing?  
  
Lee: I was getting a close up your sexy ass, but since you turned around I also got a close up of something I did not want to see.  
  
Motoko: (drops the bags) You bastard (charges at him)!  
  
Lee: {I love to piss that girl off.} (Motoko tries to punch him, but Lee avoided her fist.) Gee, I didn't think you could fight without your sword.  
  
Motoko: I don't need my sword to defeat you (tries to punch Lee again, but he blocked and grabbed her fist)!  
  
Lee: Time to use my Gale Fist (his right hand glows white, then he clench it to a fist).  
  
Motoko: Too bad that punch takes too long to set up. (attacks with her free hand and legs, but Lee was too focused to feel any pain) Dammit, don't you have a weakness?!  
  
Lee: That's a secret.....Gale Punch (uppercuts Motoko sending her flying 10 feet in the air)!  
  
Motoko: {Not another loss.} (Lands on her back an Lee pins her)  
  
(A.N: Let me explain the Gale Punch. It is a punch that combines the energy of the user and the wind element. The move takes 10 seconds to execute, which isn't much time if you are fighting a speedy opponent like Motoko for instance. It takes complete focus to execute the move and if the user loses his or her focus for even an instant the move is cancelled. When executed the Gale Punch greatly damages the opponent from punch and the wind, which cuts your opponent.)  
  
Lee: You are so beautiful and strong too. With such a deadly combination I wonder why Keitaro hasn't gone after you, oh wait you totally abuse him that's why (release the pin).  
  
Motoko: (stands) I thought you were gonna kiss me or something.  
  
Lee: Actually (kisses Motoko for a few seconds), I told you that I liked you and I meant it.  
  
Motoko: (blushes) Uuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!  
  
Lee: Take this (eletricutes her into submission). Damn, you are so easy to anger.  
  
Motoko: (gets up but is still dizzy) Someone is watching us.  
  
Lee: I know who it is, get the bags, I got a surprise for the spies (disappears).  
  
(A.N.: Hey that rhymes.)  
  
Motoko: I gotcha (picks up the bags and walks up the steps).

At the front door

Kitsune: Haruka was right.  
  
Sarah: She is very wise.  
  
Keitaro: Why is Motoko the only one outside?  
  
Naru: Where is Lee anyway?  
  
Su: Uh guys?  
  
(Everyone turns to see Lee standing there pissed off.)  
  
Everyone: Uh oh.  
  
Lee: I don't like spies (punches them in all directions).  
  
Motoko: (Watching the others fly in different directions) Crap, they were all watching us?

Naru: I can't believe the drinks didn't explode (opens a soda bottle and gets half of the soda on her face).  
  
Lee: (Laughs at Naru) I guess all that running paid off.  
  
Naru: Very funny.  
  
Su: Bananas, bananas, bananas, woohoo!  
  
Sarah: You must enjoy eating bananas more than anything else.  
  
Su: (with six bananas in her mouth) Yes I do, yes I do!  
  
Sarah: You are scaring me now.  
  
Keitaro: {The world must be coming to an end.}  
  
Shinobu: I can't believe you guys were on the news.  
  
Lee: You all watched that?  
  
Naru: Yes, until we lost the picture.  
  
Motoko: (Blushes with embarrassment while trying to be monotonous) Lee had something to do with that.  
  
Shinobu & Kitsune: How?  
  
Motoko: Didn't you guys watch the entire broadcast before the missile hit the news crews.  
  
Keitaro: No.  
  
Motoko: Lee uppercutted an idiotic reporter into a helicopter that had the signal.  
  
Lee: Motoko, the missiles took out the "Eye in the Sky", not the news crews on the ground who broadcasted the event.  
  
Kitsune: I saw an explosion before we lost the picture on the channel we were watching.  
  
Motoko: Let's change the subject.  
  
Kitsune: Okay, like that makeout session.  
  
Motoko & Lee: Oh shit.  
  
Naru: I never thought that you, Motoko of all people would ever let someone beat you.  
  
Motoko: (angry) What (draws her sword)?!  
  
Lee: She gave it her all you bitch (draws his sword)!  
  
Everyone: No, don't do here!  
  
Lee & Motoko: X-Strike!  
  
(A.N.: Think Chrono Trigger except everyone gets hurt.)  
  
(Su, Sarah & Shinobu are groaning in pain.)  
  
Naru: (in pain) I can't feel my legs.  
  
Kitsune: (numb and in pain) I can't feel my boobs.  
  
Keitaro: I can't feel anything!  
  
Lee: Dammit, Naru was the one who shouldn't feel anything not Keitaro!  
  
Motoko: Think about it Lee, it's Keitaro Urashima he takes all of everything!  
  
Keitaro: (groans) It's true, it's oh so terribly true.  
  
Lee: I thought you were a hopeless pussy, but after a week of me being here.....aw hell you really are a hopeless pussy and nothing will ever change that.  
  
Sarah & Su: Amen to that!  
  
Shinobu: I thought you were gonna comfort him.  
  
Lee: What do you think this is an American teen movie, anime or any other stupid romance shit? I'm not a miracle worker.  
  
Naru: (starts laughing) For once I agree with you.  
  
(Everyone except Keitaro follows suit.)  
  
Keitaro: Yeah, yeah, let's all laugh at the dork.  
  
Kitsune: Okay (rolls in hysteria)!  
  
To be continued  
  
Antics: Annoying Question and Answer  
  
Kitsune: Why did the author use that kind of music for the Big Rig chase?  
  
Lee: Because the author played way too much "Sonic Adventure 2 Battle" one day and he couldn't think of anything else beyond that and Daft Punk isn't that right Lee3?  
  
Lee3: Not now, my Chao transformed again!  
  
Keitaro: What's with the "Family Matters" reference?  
  
Lee: Comedic reasons I assure you. In fact, Lee3 mentioned that before the fic.  
  
Naru: Why do you bash me throughout this fic?  
  
Lee: Because I am based off the author and he hates you very much.  
  
Sarah: Is Mutsumi gonna be in this fic?  
  
Lee: Later.  
  
Sarah: How about my daddy?  
  
Lee: Later, even though he won't have much of an impact if any.  
  
Keitaro: What about....um...uh who were those guys again?  
  
Lee: (giving Keitaro the "you are fuckin' stupid" look) Shirai and Haitani?  
  
Keitaro: Yeah!  
  
Lee: No.  
  
Naru: What about in the Antics part?  
  
Lee: If the author comes up with the idea.  
  
Naru: Why are you an asshole?  
  
Lee: (shoots Naru) I really hate that girl.  
  
Su: I need more bananas!  
  
Lee: Go fetch girl (throws the bunch of bananas somewhere and Su chases after the bunch on all fours)!  
  
Shinobu: Will I have a bigger part?  
  
Lee: Probably not because the author often forgets about you.  
  
Shinobu: Oh, (starts crying) I understand.  
  
Lee: (annoyed) This crappy Q & A is over.  
  
Lee3: Well, another semi-orthodox chapter is completed. Review if want to just don't send me really extreme flames that make no sense. See you next chapter.


	7. A Fool, An Old Spirit and a Warning

Lee3: (Playing Soul Caliber 2) Yes, I finally knocked out that cheap-ass Necrid!  
  
(A ghost wolf with an Irish accent appears.)  
  
Lobo: First it was Smash Bros., then Smash Bros. Melee and now it's the gamecube version of SC2.  
  
Lee3: Hey, I love the game and I love using Link and his Hyper Dash Attack!  
  
Lobo: Why, because it's not a good idea to block it?  
  
Lee3: That and it is fun to fully charge and then ram your opponents into walls. {Now if I can only figure out how to aim his bow.}  
  
Lobo: I'm not sure your "fan" is going to like hearing that Link is your favorite character.  
  
Lee3: What? I'm not bashing Astaroth, even though I'm more of a Berserker fan when it comes between the big overly buff guys with axes.  
  
Lobo: Be that as it may, you have chapter 7 to start.  
  
Lee3: Okay, okay, I know it's time for the disclaimer. I don't own the Love Hina characters if I did the series would somehow become a porno without me realizing it. I do own the self-insert, Lobo and Lee2.  
  
Lobo: YAHOO!!!  
  
Lee3: (whispers) He's just excited because this is the only chapter he gets to be in.  
  
Lobo & Lee3: LET IT RIP!!!  
  
A Fool, An Old Spirit and a Warning  
  
(Keitaro and Lee are on the roof having just finished the repairs at 5:30 a.m.)  
  
Keitaro: So that's what you think of the girls?  
  
Lee: Yep, even though Naru Narusegawa, Mitsune Konno and Motoko Aoyama are the "Hot Chick Trio", one is a violent bitch who doesn't listen to logic, the other is the same just add the sword, and the third is a drunken gambling moron.  
  
Keitaro: I can see how those character flaws put you off.  
  
Lee: {I can't understand how you can sometimes put up with and sometimes get turned on by that. What are you a masochist?}  
  
Keitaro: What about Sarah, Su and Shinobu?  
  
Lee: Sarah is fun to pull pranks with.  
  
Keitaro: (Looking semi pissed off) Like the incident with Naru's underwear?  
  
Lee: Hey, any woman who has that many bras and panties is asking to get pranked at some point!  
  
(A.N.: That will be disclosed next chapter.)  
  
Keitaro: How about Su?  
  
Lee: Hyperactive nut. She is Edward, Ali Al and Puni Puni Poemy crazy.  
  
Keitaro: Who was that third character you mentioned?  
  
Lee: Never mind that, you won't know for another year.  
  
Keitaro: I guess that is not important. Anyway what about Shinobu's personality?  
  
Lee: She needs to get over her bashfulness.  
  
Keitaro: You're shy around women from your dimension.  
  
(Lee hits Keitaro with a hammer.)  
  
Lee: That is none of your business you porno freak!  
  
Keitaro: Well excuse me for being a guy!  
  
Lee: It's not that you like porno. It's just that you like shitty porno.  
  
Keitaro: (annoyed) Whatever, I going back to bed (grabs the toolbox a leaves).  
  
Lee: {What a moron. If he likes porno so much get the ones made from Hollywood.} Well, it's almost sunrise, time for an early morning prank (Teleports to each of the girl's room with a glass of water and puts each girl's hand in their own glass, after leaving an L-cam unit hidden in each of the victim's rooms Lee teleported back to the roof.). This is gonna be sweet.  
  
Lobo: {Now if can only settle with what's going on with you and Motoko right now.}  
  
Lee: {Lobo?! What do you want?}  
  
Lobo: {To help you laddie.} (Lobo comes out of Lee's body)  
  
(A.N.: Lobo is the oldest and strongest of the many spirits that inhabit Lee's body. How they met is pretty sad. Lee was on a mission in another dimension to exterminate a pack of wolves led by a Super Wolf Lobo that were killing everybody. The weird thing is his pack never killed anyone. After Lee succeeded in the mission he later found out that someone who wanted the pack eradicated set him up. Lobo found out after he died and as a spirit joined forces with Lee to find and destroy the ones who were responsible. Most of the time they rag on each other, but Lobo takes business seriously, but isn't afraid to show humor. One last thing, he tends to be Lee's advisor for trivial matters.)  
  
Lee: Alright Shamrock what problem could I possibly have with Motoko?  
  
Lobo: Don't ever call me Shamrock!  
  
(A.N: Lobo's last name is Shamrock due to the fact he's part Irish.)  
  
Lee: (laughs) It's fun to hear you yell with your accent.  
  
Lobo: That's it (hooks Lee up to a lie detector).  
  
Lee: (stops laughing) This isn't the one that shocks you when you lie is it?  
  
Lobo: You bet your ass it is. {Wait when he sees the upgrades I made.}  
  
Lee: {I heard that}.  
  
Lobo: {Damn telekinetic link} Let's start laddie. Do you like Motoko Aoyama?  
  
Lee: Do you mean as a friend or girlfriend?  
  
Lobo: Girlfriend.  
  
Lee: No  
  
(DING)  
  
Lobo: Did you enjoy kicking her ass?  
  
Lee: Yes.  
  
(DING)  
  
Lobo: Do you want to fight her again?  
  
Lee: Hell no that would be a waste of time! (ZAP) Ow!  
  
Lobo: Looks like I struck a nerve. Do you want to challenge the dojo where she was trained?  
  
Lee: No (ZAP). Ow, I can't feel my left arm!  
  
Lobo: Do you want to challenge the students, sempais, and senseis of the God's Cry School?  
  
Lee: No (ZAP). YES, YES, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!!!!  
  
Lobo: It seems to me that you want to see if there are any warriors better than Motoko.  
  
Lee: Whoa, and I thought you were stupid (ZAAAAAAAAAAP). Oh god I can't feel the lower part of my body (DING)! Especially the most important part (ZZZZAAAAAAAAPPP)! OW, NOW I CAN"T (DING)!  
  
Lobo: The electric shocks are of the opposite charge of the electricity you normally absorb so I'd quit lying right now if I were you.  
  
Lee: If you were in this situation you'd be lying your ass off (DING)!  
  
Lobo: Do you want my advice or not?  
  
Lee: Noway (ZAP)! Yes okay? I freakin' need it!  
  
Lobo: Challenge Motoko when she wakes up, the sooner you do the less likely you will say "screw it" and miss your opportunity to face off against stronger pupils of the God's Cry School.  
  
Lee: Okay, although I don't know where the dojo is, but I can't miss this opportunity (DING).  
  
Lobo: Challenging Motoko will catch her off guard and she might reveal the location.  
  
Lee: Alright, I'll make Motoko pay (ZAP). Sorry, I got caught up in the moment (DING).  
  
Lobo: You also used a clichéd revenge line and she has never bested you in battle.  
  
Lee: True (DING). Now will you please unhook this thing already? I do not deserve this kind of torment (ZAP)!  
  
Lobo: Well I've done my job. How do you feel laddie?  
  
Lee: (impersonates Lobo's accent) I still can't feel the lower half of my body (ZAP). Okay so I can (DING).  
  
LIE: For God's sake man tell the truth!!!  
  
(A.N: If you don't know LIE is the lie detector. It stands for Lie Is Eradicated.)  
  
Lee: Unhook me please.  
  
Lobo: Okay (unhooks Lee and puts the lie detector with the AI away).  
  
Lee: Well, it's almost sunrise.  
  
Lobo: I gotta get some sleep (hears a beeping noise). Your watch is beeping.  
  
Lee: Computer mode (the watch transformed into a computer watch). What's up IRIS?  
  
(A.N.: IRIS stands for Irrational Responsible Irritating Smart-ass. Lee created her when he was 13 and programmed an AI three years later. IRIS is 100% reliable, and a....smart-ass.)  
  
IRIS: Incoming message (projects a holographic version of Lee).  
  
Lobo: Isn't that...?  
  
Lee: Lee2 you finally found me.  
  
Lee2: Actually, I knew where you were the whole time...I just wanted to watch .hacksign.  
  
Lee: You didn't do anything stupid did you?  
  
Lee2: Hell no, if I got you in trouble then that means I get in trouble too.  
  
Lee: {Duh.}  
  
Lee2: Anyway I sent a black hole egg.....  
  
Lee: That means I can leave here.  
  
Lee2: Quit interrupting me! Anyway, the egg will arrive in 12 days. Oh and I know about what went on during the last few minutes do the fans a favor challenge the kendo girl (hologram disappears).  
  
Lee: I'm gonna miss this dimension, but right now (sun starts rising) the sun is rising (teleports to the front room) and I'm gonna witness the results.  
  
(Five Minutes Later)  
  
All the girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Lee is laughing while Keitaro runs to the front room to confront Lee)  
  
Keitaro: (All beat up) WHAT DID YOU DO?!  
  
Lee: I got the girls to pee in their futons by using a glass of water.  
  
Keitaro: (smiles) Oh I get it, you pulled the prank that involves putting people's hands in water and...  
  
Lee: (Kicks Keitaro sky-high) THAT'S WHAT I SAID YOU MORON!!!!  
  
(walks around the dorm that now smells like urine, while the girls minus Motoko are in the Laundry Room)  
  
Lee: I can't believe I got the whole dorm to smell like piss (smells something weird) Okay, someone had Nocturnal Emissions last night. I guess I should issue my challenge to Motoko now (teleports to her room, turns to see Motoko with her back to him, oh and she's naked).  
  
(A.N.: For the record Nocturnal Emissions is the scientific name for wet dream. I loved Biology class when I was in high school.)  
  
Motoko: Who's there (turns and sees no one there)? Huh (then someone caresses her hips causing Motoko to freeze)?  
  
Lee: (seductive) You have a beautiful body Motoko (Motoko blushes). Your body rivals that of Naru's. Hell you could easily attract Keitaro if you didn't attack guys when they give you a compliment (Motoko blushes even more while Lee looks more puzzled now), though for some crazy reason I have been having romantic dreams about you and I don't feel about you that way.  
  
Motoko: I don't......get it.  
  
Lee: I figured you wouldn't.  
  
Motoko: (turns and draws her sword, but Lee isn't there) Where is he now?  
  
Lee: (kicks her from the side and into a wall) All that stuff I just said is true, but that is not why I'm here.  
  
Motoko: (pissed) Then what is your reason you dirty bastard!  
  
Lee: (advances towards Motoko while being very serious) This is a challenge and this time I'm not holding back.  
  
Motoko: (shocked at the opportunity, but tries to hide it with a smirk) When?  
  
Lee: (sarcastic) When the big and little hands on the clock are pointing straight up.  
  
Motoko: (gets on her feet) So you want to battle at noon.  
  
Lee: Correct, you're not as dumb as I thought.  
  
Motoko: You bas.....(Lee grabs her breast and electrocutes her into submission)  
  
Lee: If you are not careful during our duel (eyes glow red) you will die.  
  
Motoko: (recovers from the electrocution) I understand, it's an opportunity for me to face you at your max.  
  
Lee: (turns to leave) Good....,oh by the way nice rack.  
  
Motoko: (gets pissed) You!  
  
Lee: Your tits might make Kitsune and Naru jealous.  
  
Motoko: (blushes) Seriously?  
  
Lee: Yes. I'll see you at the duel (leaves).  
  
Motoko: {Why the hell was turned on to that guy a few minutes ago.}  
  
Keitaro: (shows up) Hey Motoko, what's up?  
  
Motoko: (draws her sword) DIE URASHIMA!!!!  
  
(Lee passes by Shinobu when they hear an explosion)  
  
Keitaro: Hhhhhhhheeeeeeelllllppppp mmmmmmeeeee (continues to run screaming while passing Shinobu and Lee)!!!!!!!!  
  
Motoko: (still in the nude chasing Keitaro) I'll get you, you worthless piece of shit!  
  
Shinobu: I hope sempai can get away from her long enough for Motoko to realize that she's still naked.  
  
Lee: I can't believe I just saw jiggling T&A.  
  
Shinobu: Eww, you're nasty!  
  
Lee: Hey, you saw Keitaro's dick when you first saw him and then announced to the other girls about how small it is, so fuck off.  
  
(After 20 minutes of more chaos the crew ate breakfast until 11:00am when Lee left all of a sudden. Then one hour later Motoko and the rest of the residence went to the roof where Lee was waiting.)  
  
Naru: How did we know about the duel and where it is?  
  
Kitsune: Who cares this fic wasn't supposed to make 100% percent sense anyway.  
  
(On the roof)  
  
Lee: {12 days, that means school starts in 15 days. Oh well, time to focus.} (draws his sword) It is time (Motoko stands 20 feet away from him).  
  
(Motoko tries to approach Lee who is still has his back to her. When she was within striking distance Lee turned and made a few quick slashes, the first slash cutting part of her hakama before she leapt back and drew her sword.)  
  
Lee: Come at me like you are gonna kill me, if you hold back I will kill you (eyes glow red).  
  
Motoko: (gets into a fighting stance) Got it.  
  
Kitsune: This should be good.  
  
Keitaro: I guess we'll get to see what Lee can really do.  
  
Sarah: If Motoko can find a weakness in Lee's attacks she can counter them.  
  
Naru: She has to be able to defend against his attacks first and so far she hasn't had a good track record of doing that.  
  
Motoko: I can hear you guys!  
  
Everyone: Good luck Motoko!  
  
Motoko: That's better.  
  
Lee: (smirks) {You'll need it.}  
  
To Be Continued  
  
Antics: Question and Answer Revisited  
  
Motoko: Was one of those scenes a romance scene?  
  
Lee: No, I was poking fun at romance scenes.  
  
Shinobu: (off in La La Land) I love stories about a boy and a girl falling in love.  
  
Keitaro: I love stories about a girl and a girl falling in love.  
  
Lee: Yeah (hi-fives Keitaro)! Volume four of the "Confidential Confessions" manga has a lesbian story.  
  
(Keitaro gets a nosebleed and faints due to loss of blood.)  
  
Lee: Next question.  
  
Motoko: Can I castrate Keitaro?  
  
Lee: He barely has a manhood why would want to take that away?  
  
Su: Who wins this battle anyway?  
  
Lee: Why the hell would I tell you that now?  
  
Su: C'mon, tellmetellmetellmetellmetellmetellmetellme......  
  
Lee: (hits Su with a steel bat knocking her out and bleed at the head) Now I'm in Nirvana.  
  
Keitaro: What does that mean?  
  
Sarah: Paradise dork (kicks him in the head)!  
  
Naru: Can I kill you?  
  
Lee: (punches Naru sending her flying out of the room) No. This Q&A is over.  
  
Lee3: Well I hoped you all enjoyed this cliffhanger (silence). Yeah I figured as much, next chapter has action in it and a disclosure of the bra and panty prank. See you next time. Review if you wanna. 


	8. To Kill by the Sword: Motoko vs Lee All ...

Lee3: (Playing Soul Caliber 2) Next to using Link I also enjoy using Berserker.  
  
Shinobu: Um, won't one of your fans hate the fact that you are using Berserker to beat up Astaroth?  
  
Lee3: Shinobu, its just the practice mode against the CPU that's all. Besides I'm just trying to master Berserker's moves then I'll crank it to Extremely Hard mode.  
  
Shinobu: Did that Astaroth fan inspire you to do this?  
  
Lee3: Yes, anyway do you want to do the disclaimer?  
  
Shinobu: I'm too nervous.  
  
Lee3: Then I'll do it then. I don't own any of the characters except the SI, Renegade, Angelica, Lobo, and any of the other characters I thought up in this weird imagination of mine. I don't own the series if I did it would turn out as weird as Excel Saga.  
  
Shinobu: Does that mean we start now?  
  
Lee3: (annoyed) Yes it does.  
  
Shinobu: STARTING (nothing happens)!  
  
Lee3: No you passive wuss, you're supposed to say RUN IT!!  
  
To Kill by the Sword: Motoko vs. Lee All out Assault  
  
Lee: (stands) C'mon take your best shot.  
  
Motoko: I'm not falling for that again!  
  
Lee: (sings) It's free, let's see if you can hit me.  
  
Motoko: Okay (charges), Motoko Slash (the attack seemed to connect but Motoko went right through him as if he was transparent)! Huh?  
  
Lee: You missed (smiles).  
  
Motoko: Noway, you should be cut in half (Lee jumps and down for a few seconds to prove his body is still attached)! {No, he will not make a fool of me again!} (Attacks several times, but the result remained the same)  
  
Lee: (monotone) You haven't hit a thing except air. Do they train you to do that at that God's Cry School of yours?  
  
Motoko: How did you...?  
  
Lee: You shout out the name every time you do a "Boulder Cutting Blade".  
  
Motoko: UUUUUUURRRRRGGGHHHH (takes a deep breath and calms down)! {Calm down, he's just trying to get in my head.}  
  
Lee: (getting bored) I'm just gonna end this right now (disappears from sight).  
  
Motoko: {Where is he?} (Hears noises from all sides) {Damn I hope I can defend against this move.} (Lee appears right in front of her prepared to strike) Boulder Cutting Blade (the ki blast revealed that Lee as a charlatan because it was transparent and disappeared)! No!  
  
Lee: DRAGON SLASH: FORM 10 and 11 (strikes Motoko from the left side, then he kicked her straight up in the air, next he flew up to her altitude. Lee's sword glowed white and he slashed Motoko from all directions (8 times) ending form 10. For form 11 Lee flies around Motoko a high speed to form a tornado that cuts (Lee is doing the cutting). After several cuts and a nearly torn apart hakama the tornado fades and Motoko fell on her back.)!!!!  
  
(A.N.: Both forms are right after another, cool huh?)  
  
(While the residents are gasping in shock, a woman with a keen eye is watching the battle from a distance.)  
  
Woman: {Hmm, Motoko is really getting crushed out there, but how can that be? That guy's fighting style is so unorthodoxed.}  
  
Lee: (telepathic) {I know where you are as well as who you are.} (The lady gasped).  
  
Motoko: {I can't lose again.}  
  
Lee: (annoyed and disappointed) Do you enjoy wasting my time Motoko? I challenged you for one reason and that is to see what you are truly made of. I thought that I saw something from a representative of the God's Cry School, but I guess I was wrong. If all the fighters from your dojo are this pathetic then I might as well humiliate you in front of your dojo and then destroy it afterwards. If you don't want that to happen, then you have until I get close enough to plunge my sword into your heart (advances slowly towards the seemly unconscious Motoko)!  
  
(A.N.: There I go with another anime/manga cliché again.)  
  
Woman: {C'mon Motoko, make me proud, show him what warriors from the God's Cry School are made of.}  
  
(A.N.: Whoa, another one and from who it's coming from it might be a little OOC.)  
  
Naru: How can he be this cold?  
  
Keitaro: I've never seen him like this it's as if he's a different person.  
  
Sarah: He wants a challenge.  
  
Everyone minus the fighters: WHAT?!  
  
Sarah: Think about it Lee, will have to leave us pretty soon and he knows it so he wants to challenge the strongest warrior here, which for all we know is Motoko, but right now he's not impressed by her performance thus far, hence he is trying to motivate her into finding the strength inside herself to fight on.  
  
Shinobu & Su: Are you sure your 8 years old and not a 18 year old in a four year old body?  
  
Sarah: I'm smart for my age and he told me right before we pulled a prank involving taking Naru's bras and panties and sprayed with an experimental perfume that Lee created that smelled really sweet and fragrant. Next, we scattered them throughout the dorm and sure enough Keitaro picked them up and smelled them, only Naru caught him in the act and whooped his ass, just as we planned of course.  
  
Naru: (shocked) That was you two?!  
  
Sarah: Yep, funny huh (smiles)?  
  
Keitaro: See, see Naru, I told you it wasn't my fault! {Like it ever is.}  
  
(Lee is now within stabbing distance and holds his sword above her chest and is about to strike the deathblow.)  
  
Motoko: {NOW!} (Tries to stab her opponent in the crotch, but stops right before the sword connects. Instead she seems to be paralyzed and in pain.)  
  
Lee: Nice move....I commend you, but you should know that I would never fall for something as clichéd as that. Oh and I was joking about destroying your dojo, I was trying to motivate you into continuing this battle.  
  
Motoko: Dammit (groans).  
  
Lee: Isn't it ironic that I countered a crotch shot, with a crotch shot?  
  
Motoko: What (Looks to see Lee's tail and where it went)?  
  
Lee: (Holds Motoko up using his tail.) This can't be all you got.  
  
Motoko: It isn't.  
  
Lee: Then show me (throws her).  
  
Motoko: (flips and lands on her feet) Boulder Cutting Blade!  
  
Lee: (jumps out of the way) C'mon.  
  
Motoko: (charges) Die!  
  
Lee: Here (materializes a titanium bar in front of him.).  
  
Motoko: Steel bars buckle at the sight of my blade (tries to cut the bar, only the sword vibrated as well as Motoko's body, like in Warner Bros. Cartoons.)!  
  
Lee: Titanium doesn't fear a damn thing. {It's the strongest metal on earth.} (Hits Motoko with the bar and dematerializes it)!!  
  
Motoko: (dazed) I didn't know.  
  
Lee: This was a lot of laughs, but now it's getting old.  
  
Motoko: (barely standing) What do you mean?  
  
Lee: (Impersonates the parrot from "Scary Movie 2") You are the weakest link....good-bye (charges).  
  
Motoko: {Gotta do something fast and I can only think of one thing.} (Flashes Lee when he got within 20 feet of her, causing him to stop to look at her big breasts. Motoko jumps straight up in the air.) God's Cry School Ultimate Technique: SHIN LIGHTENING BLADE (Major ki blast and explosion where Lee was standing)!!!  
  
Motoko: (lands ten feet from ground zero) Yes, I did it!  
  
Naru: Yeah, Motoko finally got him!  
  
Keitaro: I sure hope she did.  
  
Sarah & Su: No.  
  
Everyone else: Huh?  
  
Su: There is no way Motoko could have beaten Lee with that attack, especially since he was laying the smackdown the whole time.  
  
Kitsune: Damn, even Su is focused on this duel.  
  
Sarah: {If Su's focus on this duel is as much as you drink booze everyone here would drown in it.}  
  
(A.N.: I know that insult didn't make much sense.)  
  
Motoko: (waited for the dust to clear and she found a very pissed off Lee approaching her slowly) No, no, no, noway!  
  
Lee: Your last defensive move and it had to be flashing?! Oh and what about that weak move huh, HUH?!  
  
Motoko: (standing there trembling) {Oh no, I'm screwed. That was the strongest move of the God's Cry School and he took it like it was nothing.}  
  
Woman: {Her spirit is broken....it's over.} (Has the look of grimace on her face)  
  
Lee: (eyes glow red) Good-bye Motoko, FACTOR (horizontal slash at Motoko's chest)!!!  
  
Motoko: {It's....over...I....was.....humiliated again....and now I'm.....gonna.......die.} (Drops her Shisui Sword and starts falling forward.)  
  
Everyone watching: MOTOKO NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
(Lee caught Motoko before she hits the ground, picks up her sword and carries the warrior threshold style.)  
  
Lee: (walks past everyone without giving them a look) {She did pretty well for someone who sucks.}  
  
Woman: {I've seen all I needed to see.} (Takes off)  
  
Kitsune: (with her eyes open) That was disturbing.  
  
Keitaro: Where did he go?  
  
Naru: Where else?  
  
(Outside Motoko's Room)  
  
Shinobu: Why is the door red?  
  
Lee: (opens the door) I 'm trying a new way to heal Motoko since she's close to death so I need complete concentration so I don't end up killing her.  
  
Naru: What are we supposed to do?  
  
Lee: I don't know. Why don't you talk to Cigarrette Butt (Haruka).  
  
Haruka: (from a distance) I heard that!  
  
Lee: {Whatever.} (Closes the door)  
  
To Be Continued  
  
Antics: Not Again  
  
Shinobu: Motoko isn't dead is she?  
  
Lee: No Shinobu.  
  
Shinobu: Who was that mystery lady?  
  
Lee: You're kidding right? I practically gave it away.  
  
Shinobu: Give me a hint.  
  
Lee: No, a hint will give away her identity to even the readers that haven't read that far in the manga yet.  
  
Shinobu: Tell me (Lee pulls a rope and Shinobu falls down a trap door). AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Lee: Now the Q & A is over once and for all.  
  
Lee3: Well I hope you all enjoyed that chapter, even though the ending sucked. Review if you wanna.  
  
Shinobu: (somehow appears) You bastard! Now I'm gonna say it?  
  
Lee3: NO, DON'T DO IT!!!  
  
Shinobu: (mimics Xiangua) "Justice will prevail.....just kidding."  
  
Lee3: Not that lame-ass line from Xiangua!!! See ya next time (chases Shinobu). 


	9. 11 Days Left: Memories of the Past and a...

Lee3: (playing Smash Bros. Melee) Game over (has Bowser use his smash attack to send Jigglypuff flying into oblivion). Took you to school you lying bitch.  
  
Random Japanese Girl: How did you know I was lying?  
  
Lee3: It's hard to believe that someone from Japan the "Gaming Capital of the World" has never played a videogame in her life and then chooses Jigglypuff to against a Bowser master in Smash Bros. Melee. Nobody does that unless they know what they are doing. (Girl leaves in disgust)  
  
Naru: (annoyed) Did you do a parody on somebody again?  
  
Lee3: Yes, I remember a past letter in an issue of Nintendo Power this Canadian kid and his friends got whooped by a Japanese exchange student who claimed that she never played a videogame in her life. She chose Jigglypuff and I just told you the result. Either she was lying or those dudes sucked and I think both.  
  
Naru: Have you ever been to Japan?  
  
Lee3: Yes, I have and I have seen a lot of people at arcades and playing games in electronic stores. Games are everywhere in that country. {Damn, that's cool!}  
  
Naru: Oh...weren't you playing Soul Caliber 2 earlier?  
  
Lee3: Yeah, I was doing the Weapons Master mode and was getting a kick of Xiangua and Seung Mina's reactions when the time runs out. {Kiddy tantrums are funny.} Oh speaking of which Su challenged me to a game so I better start this thing. I don't own the series yadda, yadda, yadda you should know by now and if not you SUCK!! RUN IT!!!  
  
11 Days Left: Memories of the Past and a Letter  
  
(Current Time: 7:00a.m.)  
  
Motoko: (wakes up in her room) Am I still alive?  
  
Lee: Yes, you are still alive.  
  
Motoko: (gets out of bed, but can't find Lee) Where are you (A giant, red and black cocoon like thing drops from the ceiling, stopping short of the ground)? Whoa!  
  
(The cocoon opens up to reveal that it was just Lee with Dragon wings while hanging upside down by his tail.)  
  
Lee: (wings disappear) What do you want?  
  
Motoko: How do you do that?  
  
Lee: (tail disappears and he falls, but gets up again) I just do. Now what's bugging you?  
  
Motoko: Why did you challenge me?  
  
Lee: (falls anime style) DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT?!  
  
Motoko: (thinks back) Oh yeah I remember (Lee falls again). Do you have any idea when you are going to be leaving?  
  
Lee: Eleven days, are you trying to get rid of me?  
  
Motoko: Well duh.  
  
Lee: You are impossible. You know this reminds me of when we fought more often.  
  
Motoko: That was two days after our first battle.  
  
Lee: That I won without using my powers.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
(Lee walks to Motoko's room and opens the door.)  
  
Lee: Hey Motoko (sees her naked), oh I see your cute self is changing I'll come back (walks down the hall, three seconds later an explosion is heard).  
  
Motoko: URASHIMA YOU BASTARD!!!!  
  
Lee: I'm Lee you insolent samurai!  
  
Motoko: Sorry force of habit. LEE YOU DIE!!!  
  
Lee: (stoic) Whatever girl (his sword appears), I'm gonna use my powers this time.  
  
Motoko: (charges) Motoko Slash (the attack connects, but Lee just stood and took it)!  
  
Lee: (turns to face Motoko) That attack failed two days ago, what makes you think that move will work now?  
  
Motoko: {Dammit, I'm not strong enough to beat him now.} Hundred Pro....(black streak struck Motoko)  
  
Lee: (Lands behind her) If your wondering what it was, that was Dragon Slash: third form, bitch.  
  
Motoko: Fuck (passes out).  
  
Lee: (sword disappears) I'm not healing your weak-ass this time.  
  
Naru: (appears out of nowhere) What happened?  
  
Lee: Motoko was foolish enough to challenge me again. She really needs to control her temper (leaves).  
  
Naru: {We need to get rid of him.}  
  
(Flashback ends)  
  
Motoko: Yeah...well you got lucky that time.  
  
Lee: Sure Motoko keep deluding yourself.  
  
(Flashback 2)  
  
(Motoko is on the roof practicing her strikes or whatever.)  
  
Lee: (walks up the stairs and sees her practicing) What the fuck is that?  
  
Motoko: (annoyed) It's called practicing.  
  
Lee: Practicing what, "The Chop" without the Indian chant?  
  
Motoko: You Western idiots wouldn't understand.  
  
Lee: Understand what, how to be a warrior in a time period where it's all electronic? You're the idiot, but I guess your whole family is like that.  
  
Motoko: (pissed) THAT'S IT (throws down the kendo stick and draws her sword)!!!  
  
(Lee draws his sword, but transforms it into a pistol with armor piercing rounds.)  
  
Motoko: I would expect a Westerner to use a rocket launcher.  
  
Lee: (stoic) It's a pistol stupid and there are eight bullets in it, but only four will be enough to beat you.  
  
Motoko: It's your funeral.  
  
Lee: Heh, yeah right (fires a shot).  
  
Motoko: (Blocked the bullet with her sword) Hundred Profusion Strike (Lee sidesteps the ki blast and fired another shot that was faster than the last, but Motoko blocked it)!  
  
Motoko: I got you (jumps high into the air). Aerial (another shot fired) SHIT (barely had time to block that one shot aimed at her chest)!!!  
  
Lee: (watches Motoko land) {Fool, her sword has cracked and she doesn't even know it.}  
  
Motoko: (charges) I've got you now!  
  
Lee: (channels electromagnetic energy into the pistol) Game Over (fires the final bullet at the sword and breaks it).  
  
Motoko: (falls to her knees in shock) My Shisui....it's destroyed.  
  
Lee: I told you four shots would beat you, but I guess Easterners aren't good at listening.  
  
(Flashback 2 ends)  
  
Motoko: Man, was I foolish.  
  
Lee: You didn't notice that after the third shot your sword was badly cracked?  
  
Motoko: No (has her head down).  
  
Lee: To think 3 hours later you challenged me again.  
  
(Flashback 3: In the Dining Hall)  
  
Keitaro: Three times?  
  
Naru: Damn.  
  
Su: That sucks (sucks on a Popsicle stick).  
  
Shinobu: That guy is no ordinary fighter.  
  
Sarah: He's as ordinary as Tama!  
  
Lee: Don't insult me (gloats).  
  
Tama: Myuh.  
  
Motoko: ENOUGH!!!  
  
Lee: (finishes eating) Hey, don't be mad, I'm just a better fighter than you, oh Su I won that little eating contest of ours.  
  
Su: Aww, now we're tied.  
  
Motoko: Lee I....  
  
Lee: Hey Naru, Keitaro is touching your huge tits.  
  
Naru: WHAT?!  
  
Keitaro: No I'm not! Naru you got to believe me!  
  
Naru: NO EXCUSES (punches Keitaro into space)!!!!  
  
Lee & Sarah: (laughing while hi-fiving each other) Naru, you are as stupid as Keitaro!  
  
Motoko: Hey stupid!  
  
Su: Awe, no more food.  
  
Shinobu: You'll have to wait until dinner.  
  
Motoko: SHUT UP!!!!  
  
(Everyone except Lee gasps)  
  
Lee: What do you want?  
  
Motoko: I challenge you right now!  
  
Lee: Okay.  
  
Motoko: (draws her sword) Boulder....  
  
Lee: I win.  
  
Motoko: What? How can that be?  
  
Lee: Look down.  
  
Motoko: (Looks to see Lee's tail a few inches away from her chest) So?!  
  
Lee: The tail has a sharp point and it can kill you in nano-seconds (every stares). It has a mind of its own because I was tired of my enemies cutting it off.  
  
Motoko (long silence) Goddammit!!!  
  
(Flashback 3 ends)  
  
Lee: The other battles were the same way except the most recent one.  
  
Motoko: You really know how to rub it in.  
  
Lee: That's what you get for talking shit about my Western background.  
  
Motoko: Where are you from anyway?  
  
Lee: (with disgust) Bakersfield. California.  
  
Motoko: (excited) How are the beaches?  
  
Lee: The nearest beach is 2 ½ hours from Bakersfield.  
  
Motoko: What's it like?  
  
Lee: A piece of shit and I will explain it more in the continuation.  
  
Haruka: (shows up) You got a letter (she gives Lee the envelope).  
  
Lee: (Stoic) What?  
  
Motoko: Who could possibly know you here?  
  
Lee: We'll soon find out. Thanks Cigarette Butt.  
  
Haruka: Don't call me that.  
  
Lee: Then stop smoking. {Every time I see you, you have a cigarette in your mouth.} (Opens the envelope)  
  
Dear Warrior,  
  
I saw your battle and was amazed by your fighting style. To shorten this letter I want you to come to Kyoto, the God's Cry School is in the mountains. Come alone and give me your all.  
  
Signed,  
Tsuruko  
  
Lee: Do you know anyone named Tsuruko (Motoko is shock)? What's wrong Motocross?  
  
Motoko: (tweaked) She is my big sister.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
Antics: Pose Parody  
  
Lee: (doing original Green Ranger poses) I am the master behind the pranks at Hinata House! I am the PRANKSTER GANGSTA!!!  
  
Sarah: (does original Red Ranger poses) I am the princess of pranks and the number three abuser of Keitaro. I am the PRANKSTER PRINCESS!!!!  
  
Naru: Knock it off (steps on a landmine and an explosion occurs sending all three flying)!  
  
Lee: You put the mine too close Sarah.  
  
Sarah: Sorry.  
  
Lee: We got Naru so it's all good.  
  
Lee3: Looks like I win making it 3-2 in the team vs. battles.  
  
Su: I was close.  
  
Lee3: That was a good team you put together.  
  
Su: The Assassin, Yunsung and Seung Mina was awesome.  
  
Lee3: I personally call that team of yours "Team Annoying as Hell".  
  
Su: I call your team "Team Oddballs".  
  
Lee3: Obviously because my team consisted of Link, Berserker, and Lizardman/Assassin.  
  
Su: I guess it's time to end this.  
  
Lee3: Yep, review if you like. Did any of you guess that the mystery woman was Tsuruko? Be candid.  
  
Su: Justice will.....  
  
Lee3: (Hits Su with a hammer) See ya next chapter. {Now I must find Shinobu.} Oh and Hanku (answers the hi-five), looks like we got a lot in common. 


	10. Kendo Psycho x 2

Lee3: Hey, Keitaro?

Keitaro: What is it?

Lee3: Why are you such a pussy?

Keitaro: Well...hey I'm not a pussy!

Lee3: Really (shows several clips of Keitaro getting his ass kicked)?

Keitaro: Uuuuuhhhhhh, I can explain.

Lee3: No you can't.

Keitaro: You're right.

Lee3: Why do you let Naru kick your ass all the time?

Keitaro: Because sometimes I deserve it.

Lee3: You're hopeless...I'm just gonna start this chapter because that is what the fans are waiting for.

Keitaro: Good, because your comedy bits suck.

Lee3: (hits Keitaro into the camera) I don't own the series if I did Keitaro would be less of a wussy. You know the rest now RUN IT!!!

Kendo Psycho x 2

Lee: So you have an older sister that can also beat you pretty easily?

Motoko: (partially catatonic) Yeah.

Lee: So I would have to go all out in order to win.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: {Yeah right.} If she is anything like you she'll go down really fast.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: I see you agree with me.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: Are you even listening to me?

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: You eat dick.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: You need to get laid.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: That's it, I'm gonna go beat your sister.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: And I might do her.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: (strips her naked) I getting Keitaro in here.

Motoko: Yeah.

(Front room)

Keitaro: {I wonder if Motoko is okay?}

Lee: Yo Keitaro, if you want to see Motoko's naked body without her whooping your ass now is the time.

Keitaro: Why?

Lee: She is still partially catatonic from yesterday. {Even though it's really from the letter I received, but he doesn't need to know that.} (Looks to find a smoke trail) Uh, Keitaro..? Hmm must have left.

Shinobu: Oh Lee, how is Motoko?

Lee: She's okay just out of it for now.

Shinobu: I guess she needs space.

Lee: Yes she does, I have an errand to run so I gotta go.

Su: Heyo (tries to jump kick Lee as he is about to leave)!

Lee: Oh no you don't (sprout spikes from his back)!

Su: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH (her foot makes contact with the spikes)!!!! Ow, my foot! You are so mean!

Lee: Serves you right (finally gets outside at starts walking). Damn, these residents are getting on my nerves (hears Keitaro screaming while flying through the air). I was waiting for that...hey Mutsumi.

Mutsumi: Hi.

Lee: (Looks at the readers) How do I know Mutsumi? I don't, it's an anime/manga fanfic random appearances from other characters occur all the time (teleports).

(Back in the dorm)

Motoko: (Back to normal) Damn that Keitaro. Hey where did Lee go?

Mutsumi & Su: He went to run an errand, because you suck as a warrior.

Motoko: (pissed) GET ME TO KYOTO!!!!

(A.N.: That was mean wasn't it? Yeah right.)

(On Top of Tokyo Tower)

Lee: What the hell? This isn't Kyoto, what the hell am I doing in Tokyo (teleports again)?!

(Unfortunately Lee needs to have knowledge about his destination, which he does...he's just too excited to focus.)

Lee: (teleports to Hokkaido) Now where am I (sees a welcome to Hokkaido sign)? Aww shit (teleports again). Finally, I have arrived at (looks at the sign) Sendai...DAMMIT (teleports back to Tokyo)!!!!

(Back at Hinata House)

Motoko: Don't you have a flying machine or something?

Su: Yes sir (reveals a blimp)!

Motoko: Good, now let's get a move on.

Su: Should you be out and about after yesterday and the catatonic state you were in a little while ago?

Motoko: I don't care about that right now!

Su: I didn't think so.

(Back in Tokyo)

Lee: {Okay Lee there are approximately four hundred islands in Japan, meaning there are a whole lot of cities you could teleport to at random for days. There has to be a building in Kyoto you remember...that's it!} (Teleports again)

(Outside the Rhiga Royal Hotel)

(A.N.: There really is such a place in Kyoto and I know because I've been there.)

Lee: Okay, I'm in Kyoto, now where is the God's Cry School? Wait, I could just try to sense wherever the challenger is (senses a lot of fighting spirits). Aww hell, I'll just isolate the strongest one (senses the strongest one Northwest from his current position...he didn't care about the mileage.) Got it!

(Some little kid shows up)

Kid: Hey, it's the guy from the "Big Rig Incident"!

Lee: {Can't these people get off of that?} (Flies to where he thinks the God's Cry School is)

(High over Tokyo)

Motoko: Can't this thing go any faster?

Su: I'm still trying to fathom how we got from the dorm to Tokyo within a few short scenes.

Sarah: (comes out of hiding) You obviously haven't been paying attention for the last few scenes.

Motoko: You're here too?

Su: A stowaway, a stowaway, yippee!

Sarah: Shouldn't you be thinking about Keitaro or something?

Motoko: We are not pursuing him in this chapter.

Sarah: My bad.

Su: It's Lee Motoko is...

Motoko: I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HIM!!!

Sarah: (silence) Then why are you pursuing him in this chapter?

Motoko: Because Su told me that he told her I suck as a warrior!

Sarah: {I have the feeling that most of that is bullshit.}

(Lee lands on the roof of the dojo)

Lee: {I wonder if I'm at the right place.}

Tsuruko: (stands behind him) I trust that you found this place okay.

Lee: (keeps his back to her) You must be Tsuruko.

Tsuruko: And you are the warrior who spoke to me telepathically.

Lee: My name is Lee. Funny, you look like a taller version of Motoko, but she is the better-looking one.

Tsuruko: Yep, you are obviously the NBA player who was carrying my sister, while running at super speed, while being chased by a Big Rig with a psycho-bitch bounty hunter at the wheel (giggles).

Lee: Why does everyone think I'm an NBA player because I'm tall and Black? Wait a minute were you following me around?

Tsuruko: I was there at the time (giggles).

Lee: (annoyed) Did you invite me here to talk (tail pops out and his sword appears on his back) or fight (draws his sword and faces Tsuruko)?

Tsuruko: My, a big sword for a big guy.

Lee: Stop hitting on me.

Tsuruko: I'm just messing with your boyish mind, besides I'm a married woman (Lee falls anime style).

Lee: (Stands) Whatever, how do I know you are even worthy of facing my blade (transforms the sword into a bludgeon)?

(A.N.: A bludgeon is also known as a Ball "n" Chain.)

Tsuruko: You think you can beat me with that?

Lee: What do you take me for Motoko's landlord?

Tsuruko: I see (makes that psychotic face of hers'), let's begin.

Lee: (eyes glow red) Yes, let's.

(Back at Hinata House)

Naru: Keitaro, have you seen Motoko and Su around?

Keitaro: No.

Shinobu: Maybe they are in trouble.

Keitaro & Naru: Impossible.

Kitsune: Hey guys, have you all noticed that Sarah isn't around?

Keitaro: That explains why it's so quiet.

Naru: Actually, the fact that Su is missing explains the silence.

Seta: (crashes his van into the dorm) hey guys.

Naru: (In a half panic) Seta! Motoko, Sarah, and Su are missing!

Seta: I saw a blimp with three eyes painted on it headed for Kyoto, they're probably in that.

Keitaro: Oh, okay (he and the others sit on the couch as if nothing is wrong).

Seta: Wait, you aren't gonna go after them?

Kitsune: Nope.

Seta: Why?

Keitaro: The reason is because they went after someone who can get back on his own.

Seta: Must mean Lee.

Haruka: (shows up out of nowhere) I'll explain every thing.

(Back on the blimp)

Sarah: Are we there yet (whiny)?

Su: Not yet.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Motoko: SHE SAID NO, NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!

(At the dojo)

(Tsuruko and Lee have been battling for a few minutes and neither one of them has the upper hand...yet.)

Tsuruko: You know I'm just toying with you (misses her opponent's head).

Lee: Same here, but you don't know how serious I can get.

Tsuruko: Hundred Profusion Strike: 2nd Form!

Lee: Dumbass (became transparent and Tsuruko's ki blast went through him).

Tsuruko: What (Tsuruko stares at the transparent clone that is just standing there. Then she slashes it until it disappears.)?! {It's a fake? I've never seen a move like that!}

Lee: Hey bitch-ass (Tsuruko turns just in time to get hit in the ribs and sent flying by the spiked ball of the bludgeon)!

Tsuruko: {Why...why didn't I see that coming?}

Lee: {Because, you are as dumb as your sister.} (Appears above Tsuruko and is about to strike)

Tsuruko: Got you (Swings at Lee's face, but he pulled away at the last second. Both fighters flipped and landed on their feet.)!

Lee: Incoming (launches the bludgeon at Tsuruko, but she jumped on it and is running on the chain)!

Tsuruko: Boulder Cutting...(Lee pulls the chain and Tsuruko falls, but back flips into a stance)

Lee: Nice counter earlier, you almost got me, but you overestimate yourself.

Tsuruko: I was wondering why you would continue fighting me? You know you can't win against me.

Lee: That's my line.

Tsuruko: I'm not sorry I took it...Boulder Cutting Blade: 2nd Form (the ki blast barely effects Lee)!

Lee: If that's your best you're better off giving up.

Tsuruko: You haven't seen my best yet (prepares her next attack).

Lee: (holds up the bludgeon) Funny, I never transformed my weapon during a short time so congratulate yourself.

Tsuruko: I guess it's because I'm doing well (smirks).

Lee: Actually, it's because of that counter attack from earlier (transforms the bludgeon into a scythe).

Tsuruko: (eyes glowing) Bring it on (charges)!

Lee: (twirls the scythe really fast, Tsuruko jumps and Lee throws the scythe at her, she flipped to avoid the weapon and descended at top speed to attack Lee) {Heh, the scythe will come back.}

Tsuruko: Shin Lightening Blade...

Lee: Not this weak-ass move again!

Tsuruko: ...Second Form!

Lee: WHAT?!

(The Ki blast caused an explosion and Lee flew into a bunch of rocks causing a bunch of dust to kick up.)

Tsuruko: Hope that taught you something (giggles). I guess you were no match for...(gets hit in the left arm by the scythe, which flew where Lee landed) {Damn, that spinning scythe must have severed some nerves in my dominate arm...I-I can't use it!

Lee: {You bet your ass you can't.} (A laser emerges from the dust, but Tsuruko dodged it.)

Tsuruko: What (Lee emerges from the dust)?!

Lee: You are finished (fires lasers at Tsuruko, but the laser had no effect on her and she charged at her opponent).

Tsuruko: Hundred Profusion Strike (Lee jumped over Tsuruko and fired a shot at her back)! Oh no you don't (jumps to avoid the shot).

Lee: (lands and turns to see Tsuruko already almost upon him. He cocks and fires the gun) Take this!

Tsuruko: That won't hurt me (send a Ki blast that knocks the gun away, but her sword also got knocked away by the laser)! What the hell (Lee appears behind Tsuruko and punched the kendo chick in the face, sending her flying to where his gun is and Lee picked up her sword)?

Lee: This is like the final episode of Cowboy Bebop.

Tsuruko: (smirks) I know.

Lee: Ready?

Tsuruko: Yeah.

(They both threw each other's weapons to each other, then Lee set the gun to eradicate, cocked and fired at Tsuruko's right shoulder, while Tsuruko slashed Lee's chest.)

(After a minute Lee fell to the ground.)

Tsuruko: (badly injured but keeps her composure) You were good kid, but as long as I'm around you'll always be second best (sheaths her sword and walks towards the dojo).

Lee: (gets up) Care to repeat that? I was too busy playing opossum.

Tsuruko: (turns to see Lee baldy injured as well) What do you mean playing opossum?

Lee: (transforms the laser gun back into a sword) I have been using only 20% of my power.

Tsuruko: You got to be kidding!

Lee: Let me show you the power of rejuvenation (within a short time all of Lee's injures were healed).

Tsuruko: What? Noway!

Lee: (heals Tsuruko) Do you know what I just did?

Tsuruko: (Surprised) Y-y-you healed yourself and me...but why me?

Lee: I want you at your best when I go all out.

Tsuruko: (smirks) So you are finally getting serious.

Lee: Yes I am. You will be the first person in this dimension to witness the max power of this form. First you'll see and then you might die (powers up and dragon wings appeared, the tail was now spiked, eyes glowed blood red and now he had fangs).

Tsuruko: Hey, I thought you going to be in your human form.

Lee: This is my human form. The wings, fangs and tail are just an extension of my power, they are for intimidating people and I look so cool this way.

Tsuruko: (ready to attack) What the hell are you anyway?

Lee: (gives a disturbing look) Your executioner (powers up like in DBZ minus the screaming).

(Middle of Kyoto)

Su: Hey Motoko, Sarah.

Motoko & Sarah: Yes?

Su: We have arrived at Kyoto...ten minutes ago.

Motoko: AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?!!

Su: You didn't ask.

Motoko: (sees something weird) Check it out!

Sarah: Let me see!

(They all see flashes of red and black colored light.)

Motoko: Lee has got to be there. {So is my sister.}

Su. Let's go!

(Back at the dojo)

Lee: I wonder how long you are gonna last now that I'm maxed out?

Tsuruko: A lot longer than you think (slashes at Lee's chest, but all she hit was air). What, he's gone?

Lee: (appears behind Tsuruko) What wrong (powers up and Tsuruko goes flying, but manages to land on her feet, Lee fired an energy blast at her, but then she jumps to avoid an blast)?

Tsuruko: Boulder Cutting...(Gets punched from her right side by a psychotic looking Lee and sent flying into a bunch of rocks.) Ow.

Lee: (kicks the kendo chick in the back sending her back to where she was) {I'm gonna enjoy this.} (Punches and kicks her around like a pinball and after 4 minutes he punches her into the ground.) Get up!

Tsuruko: Coming (jumps out of the crater, looking a little injured but now has that psychotic look on her face)!

Lee: (disappears and reappears 50 feet away) C'MON IF YOU DARE!!!

Tsuruko: {Damn, he's so fast...I-I couldn't track him!}

Lee: What's wrong? I thought the great Tsuruko was the best swordsman to enter and exit the God's Cry School...or was all that bullshit?

Tsuruko: (pissed) {That's it.} YOU'RE DEAD (charges)!!! Cutting Evil: Second Form (Lee dodges the ki blast, but Tsuruko started slashing at him repeatedly and he just dodged them all with ease)! Take this (swings at his legs, but he jumped over the woman and landed ten feet away with his back to her)!

Lee: (smirks) Is that it?

Tsuruko: NO (charges)! Tsuruko...(Lee elbows her in her left eye, jacking up a few cords so now she can't see out of it.) MY EYE!!! YOU BASTARD YOU DESTROYED MY EYE!!!

Lee: (turns and see Tsuruko bleeding from that eye) That should be no problem for you. Surely you can fight blind or should I say half blind?

Tsuruko: I'll get you (charges)!

Lee: Do all of you God's Cry Shit-heads just charge over and over again (the kendo psycho jumped before she reached Lee)?

Tsuruko: Shin Lightening Blade: Second Form (Lee jumps into the Ki blast unaffected by the attack at all)! WHAT THE FUCK (flies through the blast, while pointing his sword at the warrior)?!

Lee: Got you (stabs through Tsuruko's left arm)!

Tsuruko: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Lee: (sends the lady flying by swinging the sword upward) Taste my Crescent Blast (swings the sword again and a crescent beam flew at Tsuruko and made contact.)! Time to go old school (metallic claws emerge from his right wrist reaching 7 feet)! Listen up bitch! This attack is ten years old let's see how you deal with this (extends the claws at Tsuruko who just stopped ascending)!

Tsuruko: (opens her eyes) What (the claws plunge into Tsuruko's chest)?! {Hey, why didn't I feel pain? Why am I not dying?}

Lee: {That's because the claws don't kill unless I wish it to.} (Starts electrocuting Tsuruko)

(A.N.: One of Lee's favorite attacks is that last attack...it doesn't have a name. Very few people can get out of that lock and only Renegade has been able to successfully counter it.)

Tsuruko: YOU BASTARD (manages to pull herself free of the claws and starts running on them)!!!

Lee: {Somehow I figured she would do that.} (Retracts the claws and blocks Tsuruko's strike) You're slowing down (fires lasers from his eyes, but somehow Tsuruko managed to roll away).

Tsuruko: Cutting...

Lee: No you don't (fires a ki blast from his hand sending the kendo lady 8 feet, but she lands on her feet)!

Tsuruko: Shin...

Lee: {Not this again!}

Tsuruko: (charges and stops right in front of him) Lightening Blade (of the attack connected since it was at point blank range, Tsuruko jumped away from the dust and slumped over in fatigue)! I can't keep this up. At this rate I'll pass out or bleed to death from wounds.

Lee: (emerges from the dust looking very demonic) It's time to put this to rest (makes the same pose Goku makes when he does his kamehameha wave).

Tsuruko: (watches energy form into a red ball of light) {Oh no what is he doing now?}

Lee: APOCALYPSE DESTROYER (fires the energy at the badly injured Tsuruko)!!!

Tsuruko: {Now is my chance.} (Runs on the energy wave)

Lee: DAMMIT, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T RUN ON (increases the power and Tsuruko got engulfed in the blast and stops the attack 10 seconds later)?! Are you okay?

Tsuruko: (struggles to get up) Fine (manages to stand). {It's time for the 3rd form of the Shin Lightening Blade.} Time for my final attack (charges max speed)! SHIN...

Lee: DARK BLADE (holds his sword up and a 20' aura of his blade appeared)!!!

Tsuruko:...LIGHTENING BLADE: THIRD FORM (about to send a strong ki blast)!!!

Lee: YOU'RE DONE (slashes the kendo woman right before she fully executed the attack and she flew through three trees and face planted)!!!!

{It's time to take the remaining fight you have left.} (Sticks his sword into the ground and an explosion occurred where Tsuruko was struggling to get up)

Tsuruko: (flying through the air) {I see why Motoko couldn't beat this guy.} (sees Lee coming at her really fast) {Damn, I can't move!}

Lee: Finisher (does one quick slash that made contact with Tsuruko)! This match is over (Tsuruko falls to the ground unconscious and lucky as hell to be alive). I'm out of here, I got my challenge (about to leave when Motoko's other sisters showed up). What is this open mike night (sheaths his sword and sends ki blasts in all directions sending all of them flying into the dojo as well as everything else and the shock left them unconscious)? {See ya next time Tsuruko.} (Reverts back to normal and teleports)

(At the blimp)

Su: I don't see the flashes anymore.

Lee: (appears behind Su) That's because the battle is over.

Motoko: ALREADY?!!

Sarah: Was there ever a doubt?

Lee: That fight wasn't hard at all, just frustrating. Now let's go home.

Su: Aye, aye, Captain (turns the blimp around and heads back to Kanagawa)!

(Back at Hinata House)

Mutsumi: I can't believe the author didn't put me in this story until now.

Naru: Trust me, this story is torture.

Shinobu: That's because he hates you.

Naru: Fuckin' self-inserts.

To Be Continued

Antics: Preview

Keitaro: What's the next chapter about?

Lee: Hmm, I don't know...maybe the author can tell us.

Lee3: (appears) Weird shit with an ironic ending.

Kitsune: Is it funny?

Lee3: Depends on the readers, but I won't reveal any more information to you guys (leaves).

Keitaro: That doesn't help.

Lee: We'll just have to wait, if he revealed too much information then the readers might not want to read the next chapter.

Kitsune: Yeah, this isn't a movie trailer you know.

Keitaro: I know.

I hope you all enjoyed that chapter because I enjoy writing it last year and making changes while typing it this year. You know what to do from here. I'll make sure I have a funnier Antics short next chapter. Until then see you next time.


	11. Three Crazy Nights

Lee3: Guess what everyone?

Naru: (sarcastic) You are about to die?

Lee3: No! There are only four chapters left in this fanfic!

Naru: Yaaaaaaaaaaay (gets knocked out by a masked reader)!

Lee3: Well someone hated that cheer!

Masked Reader: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Lee3: Yeah, there are only four chapters left.

Masked Reader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Lee3: Don't worry dude, I'm planning on writing a continuation.

Masked Reader: Really?

Lee3: Yes, but first I need to finish working on my Excel-Saga and Soul Caliber II fics (Masked Reader falls anime style). Don't worry the Excel-Saga fic will probably be short, but the Soul Caliber fic might take longer since I haven't played the game in a while due to my House-sitting job, plus I want to put some depth into the story.

Masked Reader: (gets up) I guess I can wait, after all patience is a virtue. Just hurry up with those dammit!

Lee3: You know you just gave away your identity don't you?

Masked Reader: Uuuuuuuuuhhhh.

Lee3: Anyway, on with the disclaimer. You all should know which character(s) I own. I don't own the Love Hina series or the characters. If I did then Naru would die in every volume in the manga and every episode in the anime. That masked reader I used to conceal the identity of one of my most favorite readers.

Warning: This chapter might be confusing to some of you readers just bare with me here. ( ) expresses action and scene changes. { } expresses thought.

Masked Reader & Lee3: RUN IT!!!!

Three Crazy Nights

It is 3:00 am at the Hinata House and Sarah and Shinobu are on the roof watching Kaolla Su dance. Why is Su dancing you may ask? It is because of the red moon that is out tonight.

Sarah: Watching Su dance can get enchanting after awhile.

Shinobu: True, I do enjoy watching her latest dance, but it makes me want to do things to Keitaro.

Sarah: {Naughty things I assume.}

Su: (finishes her dance and looks onward to see something in front of the dorm) Hey guys check this out!

Sarah: (walks to where Su is standing with Shinobu close behind) What is....

Shinobu: What's wrong Sarah, you look like you've just seen...(sees a 400ft. red and black colored dragon sleeping in front of the dorm) DRAGON!!!

Su: I want to get a closer look (jumps off the roof).

Sarah: C'mon Shinobu, lets go meet up with Su.

Shinobu: Wait Sarah!

(Two minutes later the three girls stood a few inches away from the giant lizard.)

Shinobu: I-is it going to eat us?

Sarah: As long as Su doesn't change back into...herself and wakes the goth dragon up we should be fine.

(The clouds cover the moon and Su reverts back into her normal silly self.)

Su: Oh, such a cute dragon (starts touching, poking and hitting the dragon).

Sarah: Ack!

Shinobu: Don't.

Su: It's okay it's sleeping like a rock.

Sarah: Cool, let's play with it.

Su: Woohoo!

Shinobu: I still disagree with this, but what the hell.

(After messing with the thing for two hours the girls fell asleep outside the dorm. Now it's 7:00 am and the girls awoke to find the dragon gone. While wondering what happened to it, the trio went inside to find everyone except Lee in the front room watching the news.)

Shinobu: What's going on?

Naru: You guys won't believe this.

Tama: Myuh (cranks up the volume).

Reporter on TV: Last night at 12:00 midnight marked the two and a half hours of hell!

Keitaro: Quiet everyone this is it!

Reporter 1: In Tokyo a 400ft. dragon destroyed half of the city. There was mass destruction everywhere and people were shocked, by how one of our reporters was killed by the monster (shows the footage of a female reporter getting squashed). You will be in our hearts in Suzuka.

Lee: (enters the room) Hi everyone (looks at the news footage). Oh, that explains why I woke up naked in front of the dormitory at 5 in the morning.

Motoko: (gasped) ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE DRAGON THAT DESTROYED HALF OF TOKYO SEVEN HOURS AGO WAS YOU?!!

Lee: (nonchalant) I'm not gonna lie to you, yes I am.

Motoko: I-I-I...

Lee: Yeah I know you hate me, step off bitch.

Keitaro: Hey check this out!

Anchor Lady: Despite the tragedy, most people got a kick out of this.

Reporter 6: Tragic, almost like in a Godzilla movie.

Dragon: (excited) GODZILLA WHERE (turns around and Reporter 6 was hit by the dragon's tail)?!! You all have Godzilla in this dimension?! That is tight!

(All the residents stare at Lee)

Lee: (embarrassed) I'm a Godzilla fan and so the spirits in my body okay?

Kitsune: Look on the bright side: at least you didn't go berserk when you found out Godzilla doesn't exist in this world.

Anchor Lady: And now we are going to show what happened when the dragon found out Godzilla doesn't exist in this world.

Dragon: YOU LYIING BASTARDS DIIIIEEEEEE (fires energy blasts from all over its body in all directions)!!!

Lee: (even more embarrassed) I am so glad I don't have much of a memory of what happened while I'm in that form.

Keitaro: Man, you're like Vash the Stampede.

Mutsumi: (appears out of nowhere) Is it because he's handsome and an oddity?

Lee: {Thanks...I guess.}

Keitaro: No, because everywhere he goes, trouble follows him.

Lee: (nonchalant) He's right...and quit jacking off when you see Naru's huge rack.

Keitaro: I AM N...(gets punched by Naru)!!

Lee: {Heh, that gag never gets old.} Oh well, I guess it's time for another installment of... (insert stupid music here) "Lee's Long-ass Explanation"!

Kitsune: Let me guess you transform under a red moon too.

Lee: For a year and a half this has been happening. I usually change into a werewolf the first night, vampire the second, and that Dark Dragon the third night.

Unfortunately, that order isn't "chronological" this time so I barely have an idea which transformation is next.

Naru: Is that good news?

Lee: Yeah, the worst is over. I can change into a lot of dragons, dinosaurs and whatnot, but the dragon you all saw I haven't gotten control of that transformation yet. Mainly because that spirit is defiant and that is why I transform into that thing last.

Sarah: Well what is next?

Lee: Most likely the Wolf.

Naru: (getting snotty) How do you know that?

Lee: Because Tit-wit, if I was transforming into a vampire next the transformation would have already started. For the record, I don't change into one of those lame-ass werewolves from the movies. I'm talking about a werewolf that will look like a wolf.

Keitaro: So you transform into a 7' wolf that walks on two legs or something?

Lee: 7'9" to be exact and I can walk on all fours as well. {Damn, he's pretty sharp for a dumbass...hey, when did he get back from orbit?}

Motoko: (arrogant) So what? When that happens we'll just stop you with silver.

Lee: Unfortunately...

Motoko: (face faults) {I always hate when he says that.}

Lee: ...I'm immune to silver. When you see me in that form, don't attack me. In fact leave me alone.

All the residents: Aye, Aye.

Lee: {They are not gonna take heed to this warning are they?}

(That Night)

While Su is dancing on the roof, Lee is walking around the dorm looking for something to eat due to the fact that he slept through lunch, dinner and his transformation.

Lee: {I wonder if I transformed already?} (Looks down at the door frame) {Yep, I did.} (Got on all fours and walked downstairs phasing through any part of the doorframe he might have hit, then he ran into Keitaro)

Keitaro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lee: Yeah, yeah, let it....

Keitaro: {throws various objects at the giant wolf) Die monster die!

Lee: (punches Keitaro so hard he flew through a wall and lost consciousness) {What a dumbass.} (Walks into the kitchen and knocks Kitsune out of the way, then he started eating whatever food he found while Shinobu crept closer to the wolf. Why she's there is beyond common sense)

Shinobu: (trembling) Uuuuhhhh, Lee?

Lee: (stops eating and looks at Shinobu) Didn't I tell you morons to leave me alone when I am in this form?

Shinobu: Uuuuuuhhh, y-yes.

Lee: (stands on two legs) Please go, I'm more violent when I'm like this (trying to restrain the violent instincts).

Shinobu: You're s-s-scaring me.

Lee: Go now (Shinobu just stands there)! DAMMIT SHINOBU MOVE YOUR ASS (About to scratch her to death when Motoko struck him from behind. Lee just turned and looked at Motoko with a gaze that would make Tsuruko shit her Hakama)

Motoko: You like that? {Oh shit I'm gonna die.}

Lee: (snarls at her) I'm getting really pissed off.

Motoko: Let's see if you can take a piss after this (slides and tries to stab Lee in the crotch, but the sword broke on impact.).)! NOT AGAIN!!!!

Lee: {Cool, I got an groin impervious to attacks...why do I feel like one those Dragon Ball Z/GT fighters right now?} (Looks to see Shinobu and Motoko gone and Kitsune...passed out drunk.) {I think I'll go see Su right now, at least she is carefree no matter if something good or bad happens.}

(On the roof)

(Su just finished her dance and Lee phased through the roof.)

Lee: Yo Su.

Su: (sees the transformed kid) Hello Lee.

Lee: (confused) Hello Lee? I was expecting a "hello doggie, cute doggie" and to a lesser extent "heyas, heyo, or okies".

Su: Are you gonna explain why you're up here or are you gonna do bad impersonations of me?

Lee: {This girl acts normal under this moon.} I needed to talk to someone that wouldn't attack me. You wanna go for a walk?

Su: Okies.

Lee: (Gets on all fours) All aboard.

Su: (hops on his back) Ready.

Lee: {At least she didn't say giddyap.} We're outta here (jumps off the roof and runs at super speed)!

Sarah: (watched everything from a distance) Oh no, he's going to eat Su! I've gotta tell the others.

(Inside)

Kitsune: Your sword broke again?!

Motoko: Yes, it broke again.

Keitaro: You stabbed him in the nuts and the blade broke...that is wrong on so many levels.

Naru: Well look on the bright side...at least he's not gonna eat anybody (smiles).

Shinobu: Naru, is right, just think positive everyone!

Sarah: (come running) Everyone, Lee made off with Su and he's going to eat her!

Mutsumi: (appears out of nowhere smiling) Oh my, the situation just got worse huh?

Keitaro: (annoyed) Are you enjoying yourself?

Mutsumi: (nods) Uh huh.

Naru: {That girl has got to be smoking marijuana.}

(Interrupt Fanfic)

Lee3: (holds a flag that says "okies" on it) Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyy! I finally got the chance to use the word "okies", oh what a glorious day this is (the readers are cheering)! Now let's get back to the fic (the readers face fault and fall over).

(Somewhere outside of Tokyo)

(Lee is running around throughout Tokyo with Su on his back.)

Su: Yahooooooooo!

Lee: You enjoying yourself?

Su: Yes I am!

Lee: This is great, just you, me...

Su: That flying machine waiting for us at the bridge.

Lee: What (sees a weird flying mini ship high above the bridge)?

Su: Who do you think it is?

Lee: I think I know whom it is, hey author!

Lee3: I'm on it...since I'm still in a SA2 Battle mood, how about I play the theme from the first boss in the Hero and Dark stories.

Lee: Do it (music starts playing)!

(In the aircraft)

Renegade: Ready for payback?

Angelica: Yes I am lover!

Renegade: I'm not your lover! Now let's just kill them!

Angelica: Roger that! {My one and only love.}

(The ship left it's position and headed towards Lee and Su)

(Back on the ground)

Su: You mean that Bounty Hunter from the Big Rig is back?

Lee: Looks like it, but this time she brought her older brother Renegade who is the brain and brawn of their brother/sister team.

Su: Then what is she?

Lee: The crazy psycho-bitch that is in love with her brother.

Su: I love my big brother!

Lee: {Yes and you would probably fuck him the first chance you got.}

Su: Let's get 'em!

Renegade: Bounties sighted, attempting capture for eventual destruction.

Angelica: (Does some lame poses) Attack, attack, attack, ahahahahahahahahaha (fires missiles)!

Lee: Hold on Su (runs to avoid the missiles while the aircraft passed over them).

Renegade: I'm gonna use the gun.

Angelica: Did you load the silver bullets into the gun?

Renegade: (annoyed) Where were you during reconnaissance? Only Golden Bullets with that special acid in them will hurt Lee even while he is in that form you retard!

Angelica: (coos) Oh fire my love, fire!

Renegade: (groans) Just shut the fuck up and help me kill him!

Lee: (turns around) It's making another pass.

Su: (pulls out a Photon Blaster) I'm on it!

Lee: {Where did that gun come from?} Okay Su, fire at will (Su does just that, but the aircraft is dodging the shots).

Angelica: I guess they didn't know how maneuverable this machine is.

Renegade: Time for a counterstrike (fires the gun).

Lee: Oh shit (evades the gunfire).

Su: Are those golden bullets?

Lee: Yeah, and they contain a type of acid that can kill me (charges at the aircraft).

Su: What are you doing?

Lee: I gonna disable that gun, while you destroy the Missile Launchers!

Su: I got it; I'll wait for you to get in close.

Renegade: TIME TO DIE!!!

Angelica: What happens if Lee gets too close to the gun?

Renegade: Don't worry little sister I'll shoot him full of acidic bullet-holes before that happens.

Angelica: (blushing) {Oh big brother, so smart, so brave, and so cool!}

Renegade: STOP STARING AT ME WITH HEARTS IN YOUR EYES (fires the gun)!!!

Lee: (Gets hit by a lot of bullets) {Dammit!}

Su: Lee!

Lee: I'm fine, just focus on the launchers (Leaps at the gun, while Su jumps off Lee's back, Lee bit the gun and Su landed on the cockpit and immediately fired at the launchers destroying them.)!

Angelica: That bitch just destroyed the Missile Bays!

Renegade: Who cares (pushes a button and Photon Blasters replaced the Missile Bays)?! Bye, bye Kaolla Su (Su jumped off right before the blasters fired, Lee on the other hand already ate the gun, spat the bullets at the aircraft and saved Su when he saw her jump off.) Goddammit!

Angelica: What's wrong lover?

Renegade: Lee ate the gun (an explosion occurs from the underside of the aircraft)! What the hell?

Angelica: Lee also totaled the main engine (another blowout occurs from above)! Yikes, it also looks like that foreign chick destroyed the blasters (Renegade gets rid of the blasters)!

Renegade: I just jettisoned the blasters and replaced them with turbines (fires them up).

Angelica: (grabs her brother's crotch) Power to turbines...

Renegade: (bitch-slaps his sister) Turbines to speed.

Su: I thought that after the Photon Blasters, the weird gun and the main engine were out of commission so would the whole aircraft.

Lee: (stoic) They have backups on their backups, I don't know what they are planning to do with those turbines, but I'm not gonna wait to find out. Su, I need you...

Su: To get off?

Lee: Yes, What I am about to do might get you killed.

Su: (complies) Don't die, if you do I'll have one less playmate.

Lee: (makes the "You're Kidding" look) You have Sarah who mimics you and you have Keitaro and Motoko to cling to.

Su: (smiles) So? I care about all my friends.

Lee: Thanks (sees the ship make another pass). Su, if I'm not back in five minutes...keep waiting (charges at the ship).

Su: {If he somehow dies I hope I get a good explosion out of this.}

Renegade & Angelica: You're finished (fires an arsenal of weapons...what's left of them anyway)!

Lee: Jumps onto the cockpit) I've had enough of you two.

Angelica: We're sick of you too! If we weren't after the money, we'd kill your black-ass.

Lee: Look fuckers, your vacation might be over, but mine isn't.

Renegade: You think we give a rat's ass?!

(An energy blast came from Lee's breath)

Angelica: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Renegade: OH GOD NO!!!!

(Both bounty hunters were destroyed as well as the airship.)

Su: (watches the wrecked machine sink into the bay) Wonder where Lee went?

(One minute later)

(Lee jumps out of the water and onto the bridge. Then he dries himself the way dogs do.)

Lee: Sorry about the wait, I had to make sure those two were dead.

Su: Did you bring back any bananas?

Lee: They didn't have any, but I stole the remaining parts of their ship. I think I could use them for something (gets on all fours). Shall we go?

Su: Yeah, yeah (gets on)!

Lee: Good, because the cops are coming (starts running again).

(Ten minutes later at Hinata House)

Shinobu: (starts to cry) Poor Su.

Keitaro: So young, so innocent...

Naru: So full of life, so...

Kitsune: Childish?

Naru: Yeah.

Motoko: She always clanged to me and I enjoyed it even though I acted liked I didn't.

(A/N: Oh man, the clichéd lines are killing me!)

Mutsumi: Um, I don't think she's dead.

Sarah: What do you mean?

Mutsumi: If Lee abducted Su just to eat her wouldn't he be back by now...alone?

Kitsune: Yeah so?

Mutsumi: So why is he in the front lobby talking to Su?

Everyone else: WHAT (everyone rushes to the lobby to see Su, who is now back to normal and Lee, who is still a 7'9" Werewolf)?!

Su: Too bad when clouds cover the red moon you don't change back to normal or as normal as you'll get.

Lee: (annoyed) Actually, I enjoy it (sees the others). Yo, wassup Hinata Dorks?

Sarah: Are you okay?

Naru: Did that bastard hurt you?

Shinobu: I'm happy you're not eaten!

Su: (smiles) Eaten, is that a food (everyone minus Lee falls over)?

Lee: {What a bunch of idiots.} Wait a minute, you all thought I was gonna eat Su?!

Everyone: Yes.

Lee: I might be more violent in this form, but I wouldn't eat anybody, unless they were my enemy (glares at Naru).

Naru: {Oooooooohhhh dear.}

Motoko: Lee, on behalf of everyone...

Lee: Save it, you all have one crazy night left. I'm going to sleep (walks up the stairs).

Sarah: Boy, do I feel stupid.

Keitaro: That's an understatement.

Sarah: Who asked you (a huge pot hit Sarah in the back of her head, knocking her out and a Badger statue hit Naru knocking her out and bleeding from her head)?!

(Everyone still conscious sees Lee standing in the stairway.)

Lee: That's what Sarah gets for making a horrible assumption and I knew Naru would react to that assumption and I knew Naru would react to that shit, that's why I knocked out my Prankster Princess and Keitaro's bitch of a love interest.

Shinobu: But why did you use a Badger statue on Naru?

Lee: Because it's clichéd, its fuckin' clichéd as hell. We don't need no stinkin' badgers and I don't need to deal with a fickle retard like Naru tonight.

Keitaro: Apart of that last line was clichéd.

Lee: (glares at Keitaro) Shut up pussy!

Keitaro: (scared as hell) DON'T HURT ME PLEASE!!!!

(Interrupt fic)

Lee3: (tired) Damn I need a break.

Taki& Espio: (make some ninja pose) You lack focus.

Lee3: Okay, who invited the Ninja Chameleon and the Big Tit Ninja?

Su: I did.

Lee3: Why the hell did you do that?

Su: It's for the Soul Caliber fic you're working on!

Lee3: I've only finished writing (as in pen and paper) the first chapter and I'm not going to continue with it until I'm done with typing the last few chapters of this fic!

Su: Oh.

Lee3: Espio, why are you here?

Espio: I don't know.

Lee3: Well get back to the Chaotix (Espio leaves)!

Taki: I think I'll go too.

Lee3: Actually, you stay. I want to show you my Torture Chamber I mean Room!

Taki: Why?

Su: He's nau...(Lee throws her into a wall).

Lee3: I'm just trying to be nice.

Taki: Uh no (Lee3 shoots her with a traq gun and the ninja fell unconscious).

Lee3: (picks up Taki) Let's go on to the rest of the chapter...LET'S FINISH THIS OFF!!!

(The Next Morning)

Motoko: (awakes with a note on her face) {What is this?} (reads the note)

Motoko,

Get the plan ready for tonight.

Lee

Motoko: {Alright.}

(Two hours later)

Keitaro: (Runs into the girl's bath) Everyone, Lee left note...! Oh bloody hell.

Naru & Motoko: YOU IDIOT (beats up Keitaro)!!!

Kitsune: What did he say?

Keitaro: (gets up) He left a note.

Shinobu: Let's see it.

Yo Hinata Retards,

My vampire transformation has already started like I said it would two days ago. I'm going to suck as much blood as I can so I won't have to come after you all with as much intensity, if at all. Do what you need to do to prepare and remember: Garlic, sunlight, crosses, stakes and anything that would normally kill a Vampire WON'T WORK ON ME!!!

Lee

(Motoko winks at Kitsune and she nodded her head.)

(Elsewhere)

Lee: I wonder if I remembered to mention my fast metabolism...? Aw they'll figure it out.

(Throughout the rest of the day the Hinata Crew prepared for the "Worst Case Scenario" and Lee spent the day sucking blood from animals and women who walked into a dark alley (he doesn't bite men). Now it's 7:00pm and Lee is at Hinata Café.)

Haruka: So that's what going down tonight?

Lee: (stoic) Yeah (chugs the tea) I'm surprised they didn't tell you.

Haruka: Ah, to be young.

Lee: Haruka, you're what 26? You're not that much older than me and I'm 19...think about it.

Haruka: Hmm, so tell me are you secretly planning something and that vamp transformation is a ruse to hide it?

Lee: Yes, I am planning to scare someone shitless, but I won't say who it is.

Haruka: You want the readers to figure it out?

Lee: I'm hoping they figure it out before this fic ends. Oh and by the way (whispers), Seta is in on it, but I need you to make it work.

Haruka: What do I have to do?

Lee: I told Seta not to hit on you until after this scare was over so you should be able to tolerate him.

Haruka: That doesn't answer my...

Lee: Let me bite your neck.

Haruka: (shocked) WHAT?!

Lee: Don't worry I won't take much, I promise.

Haruka: How long?

Lee: Judging by your height, weight and athletic ability...fifteen seconds.

Haruka: That's all?

Lee: Yep.

Haruka: (reluctant) Okay.

Lee: (advances towards Haruka) You should feel pain for the first 5 seconds.

Haruka: Thanks for the warning.

Lee: (bites Haruka and starts the 15 second meal) {Damn, that is good blood.}

(15 seconds later)

Haruka: (still conscious) I feel weird.

Lee: That's how you're supposed to feel, because you will be a vampire until midnight (gives Haruka a piece of paper). That says where Seta will be, meet with him and do to him what I did to you and he'll fill in the blanks for this plan (starts to depart). Oh and remember you are not a normal vamp so you have no weaknesses (leaves).

Haruka: {This should be fun. I guess I should get going.} (Prepares to close up shop)

(8:05pm)

Lee: (standing outside Hinata House, puts on a black coat like in the Matrix.) Showtime. (Fangs exposed and glowing red eyes the spotted Mutsumi right beside him)

Mutsumi: (stands there and smiles like an idiot) Um hello.

Lee: I was going to bite Motoko first, but I guess you'll do because of the convenience (bites Mutsumi before she could react, all she could do was faint).

(In Hinata House)

Keitaro: Everyone ready?

All the girls: Yeah!

Keitaro: Hey, Su and Sarah are the traps set?

Su & Sarah: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Lee: (appears from behind Motoko) What traps?

Keitaro: OH SHIT!!!

Lee: Hey losers (grabs Motoko).

Motoko: Let go!

Lee: (shows his fangs) No.

Naru: You're mine (advances towards Lee, but he just screams and everyone else goes flying, then Lee went and plunged his fangs into the keno girl's neck).

(The other residents approached the vamp from all sides, but unfortunately Mutsumi showed up and her newly formed fangs were exposed.)

Mutsumi: Hello everyone, I'm a vampire (smiles).

Lee: (takes his fangs out of Motoko's neck and shoves her limp body into the ground.) What are doing standing there? BITE SOMEBODY (Mutsumi bites Lee's hand and Lee punched Mutsumi, sending her flying)!!! NOT ME DUMBASS!!!

Mutsumi: Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Lee: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? You're not supposed to enjoy that. You're supposed to be in pain (looks to find everyone else gone)! Where did everyone go? Awe who cares, at least I have Motoko (sees Motoko get up and pass out again). {Seta, Haruka you'd better hurry up.}

(In the Attic)

Keitaro: He already has two of us.

Sarah: Why didn't we attack him earlier?

Kitsune: Before or after his scream sent us flying into walls?

Sarah: After.

Kitsune: Fear.

Lee: (Distance away) Dammit, these traps suck!

Mutsumi: Oh my, how very poorly made.

Motoko: I made half of the traps you assholes.

(A/N: Wow, she just gave away everyone's position, how very stupid.)

Naru: Crap, they're already below us!

Su: Is that bad?

Sarah: It's not good.

Shinobu: This can't get any worse (Seta and Haruka appeared by using a passage from above)!

Everyone: Seta! Haruka!

Seta: Hey, what's up?

Haruka: We've been hearing screams and such from around the block.

Shinobu: It's terrible, horrific and very bad!

(A/N: Wow, was that redundant or what?)

Sarah: Yeah, Lee has become a vampire and he has Mutsumi and Motoko!

Seta: Don't worry about that (smiles).

Sarah: What do you mean daddy?

Haruka: He told us about his transformation.

Naru: I don't like where this is going!

Keitaro: Seta, Haruka, you both look really pale.

Haruka: (sounding demonic) Really now?

Su: (giggling) Look, she's making a funny face.

Shinobu: (annoyed) That is not a funny face.

Seta: (follows suit) What's wrong with Haruka's face?

Sarah: (getting scared) Your scaring me daddy (both Haruka's and Seta's eyes glowed).

Haruka: Don't be scared nephew it's just me.

Keitaro: I think being scared is a good thing.

Su: I got it!

Kitsune: Got what?

Su: (smiles) They're vampires too.

Everyone minus the vamps: WHAT?!

Seta: Took you guys long enough (gave everyone that glare that puts people in trances).

(Everyone ran off except Shinobu and Sarah who were both in a trance and eventually fell victim to Haruka's and Seta's bite.)

Keitaro: We just lost Sarah and Shinobu.

Naru: (looks back to see Su falling behind) Su, move your ass you don't want to get captured too.

Su: (stops) Don't worry I'm gonna hold them...(gets tackled by Lee and Motoko).

Keitaro: Dammit, Su is now one of them (the two not even semi-lovers hid in the Landlord's room)!

(In the hallway somewhere)

Lee: We got you now Kaolla.

Motoko: (makes that scary face when she's about the fight someone) Master, can I bite her please, please can I huh?

Lee: (stoic) Do it (the very excited Motoko did what she desired and after a minute it looked liked Su gave up and fell limp...or so they thought.).

Motoko: All we have left is Konno, Narusegawa, and Urashima.

Lee: You might wanna cancel that hit list because Su's getting up.

Motoko: What (Su latched onto Motoko and pulled her hair like it was some kind of game.)?! What the hell is going on? She's supposed to be our slave!

Lee: When you bit her and sucked her blood you half-assed it.

Motoko: Dammit, you're a man...GET TO THE POINT!!!

Lee: (annoyed) She's technically a vamp, but she's STILLTHE NUTCHASE she always has been.

Motoko: Get her off of me!

Su: Yahoo, I'm riding a horsy, giddyap horsy, giddyap!

Lee: {If Su ever gets impregnated by Keitaro...I don't want to imagine their kids.} (Grabs Su and pulls her off Motoko.) Only you can irritate vampires everywhere (bites Su and starts sucking her blood, then Motoko followed suit, but the odd girl just wouldn't stop flailing. Fortunately for them Mutsumi, Seta, Haruka, Shinobu and Sarah arrived.)!

Haruka: Having problems with the victim guys?

Lee: It's Su do the damn math!

Motoko: Yeah, are you going to help or are you gonna stand there (Sarah and Shinobu immediately flew at Su and bit her chest, but that wasn't stopping her.)?

Su: Eww, that looks like fun (got bit by Mutsumi, Haruka and Seta). Yay, now it's a party (passed out)!

Lee: Finally, she's down.

Seta: What do we do now?

Motoko: Why don't we regroup and then strike the two morons while they're in a false sense of security (everyone looks at Motoko). What?

Sarah: You actually had a good idea.

Motoko: Shut up (Su gets up and looks a Lee with glowing eyes).

Su: (stands up) I'm ready to do whatever you want me to do Master.

Lee: Perfect (sniffs the air). Naru and Keitaro are in the Landlord's Room and Kitsune is bathing in the hot spring. Su, you get the fun part of my plan, go get Kitsune.

Su: Yay (runs to the open air bath)!

Lee: The rest go to Naru's room and wait patiently, anyone who tries to escape via the passageway, have at them. I'm gonna go to Keitaro's room, blend in with the scenery and make the first strike at the right time.

Shinobu: Sounds good.

Sarah: Normally I would ask a question, but I think this plan speaks for itself.

Seta: What about Su and Kitsune?

Lee: They'll improvise.

(In the Landlord's Room)

(Naru and Keitaro are alone in a room together, which means that...no not sex, it means Keitaro is gonna get his ass kicked.)

Keitaro: Where's Kitsune?

Naru: Yeah, now that I think about it she got separated from us.

Keitaro: Wonder if she's been caught yet?

Kitsune: (from the lobby) Su, stop (falls down and Su lands on her)! No...no...no...AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Naru: She's caught now!

Keitaro: (caught up in one of those clichéd romance moments) Naru, if we don't make it...(tries to take Naru's hand, but accidentally touches her boobs) not again!

Naru: IDIOT (punches Keitaro)!!!

(Lee was in front of the door when Keitaro went through it, but the vamp stopped Keitaro and threw him back at Naru, who managed to get out of the way.)

Lee: You are both idiots (eyes glowing).

Naru: How did you know we were here?

Lee: Let me see: In this form I can smell blood, this is the only hiding place left you two morons could ever think of and you just punched Keitaro through the same door I was standing in front of, making a lot of noise. Isn't that right Su and Kitsune?

Kitsune & Su: (appeared behind Lee) Don't forget Naru's yelling.

Naru: (Points to the passageway they always use) Not yet.

Keitaro: That's right (jumps on the table and jumps to grab onto the edge of the hole)! Sayonara moron, Naru let's go!

(Keitaro removes the board, but found the other vampires looking at him with hunger in their eyes.)

Haruka: Greetings nephew.

Keitaro: Uh oh (gets grabbed by the other vamps). No, no, let me go...(gets pulled in) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sarah: You're next Naru Narusegawa (closes the hole)!

Naru: {Shit, now what do I do?}

Lee: {You could just give up.} (Naru gasps) {Oh, were you thinking to yourself?}

Naru: You asshole!

Lee: I'll give you a 30 second head start, after that you're ours got it?

Naru: Uuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh! I hate this (runs past them)!

Mutsumi: So we hunt then?

Lee: Yes.

Su: Yay, we hunt in...25 seconds!

Seta: Did we hear correctly?

Mutsumi: Yes you did.

Haruka: She's going up to the roof you know.

Lee: No shit Sherlock.

Keitaro: (gets up) Time is almost up.

Shinobu: Thanks for the reminder sempai.

Motoko: Where is that vile turtle Tama?

Mutsumi: Oh, she's on the roof.

Lee: (stoic) Let's go.

(On the roof)

Naru: Oh, Tama-chan, I'm so glad you're not...

Tama: (Turns around and looks at Naru with burning red eyes) Myah!

Naru: Oh no!

Tama: (shows fangs) Myah, MYAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (flies at Naru, but she ducks to evade it)!!!

Lee: (Appears from behind) Time is up (the others appear around her). All right, the others have arrived.

(Everyone was laughing maniacally at the terrified Naru.)

Naru: That's it you're all going down (charges at Lee, but Keitaro grabbed her from behind)! Dammit (turns and punches the so called pervert, but this time he didn't go anywhere, he didn't even flinch)!

(The others start closing in on Naru with hunger in their eyes.)

(A/N: Damn, I've become Captain Obvious.)

Sarah: What will you do?

Shinobu: You have nowhere to run.

Su: No where to hide.

Motoko: Your resistance is futile.

Mutsumi: You are ours for the taking.

Kitsune: Let's have a bite shall we?

Lee: ...Do I really have to say something?

Keitaro: Your punches are useless now.

Naru: (Starts freaking out) Not the clichéd lines again!! Why do you torment me like this Author?!

Lee3: Because I hate you, now shut the hell up and take your punishment!

Everyone: WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE (they hiss at Naru)!!!

Naru: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (closes her eyes to await the worst)!!!!

(Silence)

(Naru opens her eyes to find the others laughing at her.)

Everyone minus Naru: FOOLED YOU!!!

Naru: WHAT?!

Lee: Yeah, in fact, I should be changing back to normal in a minute. You should have seen the look on your face (laughing). We really sold that shit (passes out)!

Naru: {What the hell?} C'mon get up (Lee doesn't move)! You are full of bullshit (sees the other residents get up and return to normal)!

Seta: (smirks) The plan worked perfectly.

Haruka: Yes (snickers), I agree.

Seta: Cool, now how about a...

Haruka: (punches Seta) See ya Seta.

Naru: Wait, you mean to tell me that this was all a joke?

Kitsune: Pretty good gag huh?

Motoko: Lee planned it and managed to get everyone in on it.

Naru: If you are all still alive then surely Lee...(sees him still out and now turning pale)

Su: Eww, is he dead?

Motoko: (checks his pulse and was shocked to find none) There is no pulse... as a matter of fact...he's dead.

Everyone: WHAT!?!

Naru: No, he's not dead...he's just messing with us right...right...RIGHT?!

To Be Continued

Antics: Why?

Naru: Why do you torment me?

Lee3: I already told you (pulls a rope and Naru falls into a trap door).

Naru: This reminds me of Excel-Saga!

Renegade: How come my sister and I were killed off?

Lee3: I hate you guys too.

Renegade: I can't believe this. That sucks. C'mon help a brother out (pulls a lever and Renegade got ejected)!

Angelica: So it's over no more scenes, no, no, no this can be. C'mon let me do another scene okay?

Lee3: If I wanted to hear someone beg, I would have watched Puni Puni Poemy again (pushes a button and a boxing glove hit Angelica through the ceiling.

Keitaro: Finally, some revenge for Naru's punches! I'm so hap...(slips on a banana peel) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (crashes into a wall)!!!

Lee3: Su, what have I told you about leaving bananas lying around for Keitaro to slip on?

Su: Make sure it leads Keitaro off a cliff.

Lee3: Exactly, even though Keitaro hitting the wall is good and funny. We are trying to see if Keitaro is immortal or not.

Shinobu: Are you trying to kill sempai?

Lee3: No (shoots Shinobu with a laser gun).

Shinobu: Ow! Are you still mad about..?

Lee3: Hell yeah.

Shinobu: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (runs like hell)!!!!

Lee3: (just stands there) I got over that crap a while ago.

Su: Is crap a food?

Lee3: (points to a bucket of shit) There is pile of human crap in that bucket...go eat it.

Su: Okay (happily eats shit)!

Kitsune: How long will it take for Su to realize what she's eating?

Lee3: She's never going to realize any of that.

Su: (smiles) All gone!

Kitsune & Lee3: (smells Su's breath) OH GOD...GET AWAY FROM US (runs off)!!!!

Su: What?

Mutsumi: Su, you smell.

Su: Is "smell" a food (Mutsumi falls over and so does the readers)?

Crazy End

Lee3: Well that's the end of that chapter.

Taki: That was confusing.

Motoko: I think it was supposed to be that way.

Lee3: Yeah, that was the idea.

Taki: Well, I'm out of here (leaves).

Motoko: Well what now?

Lee3: Simple we let the fans review.

Motoko: And if they don't?

Lee3: I'm not going to worry about it.

Motoko: What if you get flamed?

Lee3: If I get flamed I get flamed. It hasn't happened yet (holds a flame retardant shield).

Motoko: You're self-assured aren't you?

Lee3: That's what my mom told me earlier today. Anyway, review if you like everyone. I know this was a confusing chapter with an ironic ending, but like I said, it was intentional. See ya guys next chapter.


	12. Reawakening: 3 Days Remaining

Naru: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! Ding, dong the SI is dead!

Lee3: You really are an idiot.

Naru: What do you mean?!

Lee3: Did you really think I would kill off my character just like that?

Naru: No.

Lee3: Yes you did (glares at Naru) admit it.

Naru: (starts crying) Okay, for a brief moment I thought I found salvation.

Lee3: Your only salvation is when this fic is over.

Naru: WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (runs away)!!!!

Lee3: I made her cry (bursts into laughter). I didn't think she had that emotion.

Sarah: Shouldn't you be explaining the disclaimer now?

Lee3: You're anxious to get started aren't you?

Sarah: Duh, I get a decent role in this chapter.

Lee3: You looked ahead didn't you?

Sarah: (smiles) Yep.

Lee3: I assumed you would, so I put itching powder in your beanie hat?

Sarah: WHAT (starts scratching her head)?!

Lee3: Better shower up.

Sarah: AAAHHH, IT ITCHES (runs away)!!!

Lee3: I hate when people do that. Anyway, you should all know by now that I don't own the Love Hina characters or the series. If I did, Seta would be a better driver and wouldn't bleed so much when Haruka punched him...in fact he would actually block. Anyway, Renegade and Angelica make their last stand along with a few friends. I'm also introducing two one-shot characters. One more thing if you have never seen the show "Titus" you might get confused as the chapter progresses. Okay that about covers IT!!!!

Reawakening: 3 Days Remaining

Keitaro: Lee, get up.

Su: Wake up, I don't want to lose a playmate.

Sarah: Nor do I, the Prankster Gangsta can't die on us!

Mutsumi: Oh my, he's starting to look stiff.

Seta & Haruka: Uh, that's not good.

Motoko: Lee, wake up you fiend (starts crying)! WAKE UP!!!

(12:00 midnight five days later)

Motoko: (Just left Keitaro's room where Lee is still "supposedly dead", while Keitaro watches over him) I can't believe he's dead, but how can someone be full of life one second and then dies all of a sudden.

(Inside the room)

Keitaro: You know, it's funny the way Motoko was talking to you it was like she liked you or something...(laugh) yeah right!

(Author interruption)

Lee3: Basically Motoko was saying how she respected and sort of liked Lee FOR AN HOUR!!! I just didn't feel like writing all that mushy crap as well as taking Motoko even more out of character than she already is. Now back to the story.

(Keitaro fell asleep one hour later)

Lee: (wakes up and walks to the bathroom) Goddammit, what the hell does Fenir get off telling me the transformation takes five days to complete and in the mean time kills the host for one day and leaves him/her comatose for an additional four! I just hope this doesn't happen next time (does his business).

Lobo: At least you're still alive.

Lee: Shut up Lobo or I'll stab you.

Lobo: I'm in your body so if you try to stab me you'll stab yourself.

Lee: I guess you forgot that if I stab myself with my sword it will open a void to where you are so only you will get hurt!

Lobo: Good point. (quiets down)

Lee: Stupid asshole, just because you're a wise old wolf spirit doesn't mean you know enough to be a smart-ass (flushes the toilet and goes back to sleep).

(Morning)

Lee: (wakes up again) Yay, it's morning (silence)! Dammit, where is everyone.

(In the Lobby)

Keitaro: Well guys what do we do now?

Naru: He's been dead for five days so I think we should...

Motoko: Don't even finish that sentence (point her sword at Naru).

Sarah: Face it girl, he's dead and we're gonna have to bury him sometime, he's gonna stink pretty soon.

Motoko: (goes berserk) No, it's not true (about to swing her weapon at Sarah, but Lee stops Motoko from doing so)!!

Lee: Burying would be a good idea, except for the fact that I'M STILL ALIVE (throws Motoko into the wall)!!!

Shinobu: B-but you were dead for five days!

Lee: No, I was dead for 24 hours, I just didn't wake up for the other 96 hours.

(A/N: 96 hours is four days. For the rest of this chapter I am going to parody the style of that show "Titus" uses.)

Shinobu: Could you explain what happened while you were unconscious?

Lee's Inner thought: Explain? How could I explain how I've been dead for one day and comatose for four?

Lee: (annoyed) I was asleep and couldn't dream.

(An earthquake occurred for 2 minutes.)

L.I.T.: Yay, it's the Mall of the Dead!

Kitsune: What was that?

Lee: I think I know what that is...follow me.

(Outside)

Naru: What is that?

Su: It's a...

Lee: Dimensional gateway...

Keitaro: Does that mean..?

Lee: No, I have another three days.

Shinobu: You're only gonna be here for three more days?!

Lee: Yeah, didn't Motoko tell you?

(Everyone looks at Motoko)

Motoko: Oops, I forgot.

L.I.T.: You forgot? How do you forget something like that when you had five fuckin' days to tell the others?!

Lee: (Has Motoko in a headlock) I knew your whole family was stupid, but you, YOU I thought had a brain...guess not.

L.I.T.: (Holds a card that says) "You thought wrong dumbass."

Shinobu: Should we go in?

Su: I wanna study this gateway (smiles)!

Lee: No need. I already know what's on the other side.

Sarah: Has anyone told you how freaky you are?

Lee: No, but you're the first person whose asked me that question.

Sarah: Oh...okay.

Lee: Do you all have money on you?

Everyone: No.

Lee: Good, you won't need it. Now c'mon (steps through).

Naru: I'm not going in there.

Motoko: (annoyed) Naru, for once Lee isn't trying to pull a prank or kill you.

Naru: You don't know that (Sarah, Su, Shinobu, Motoko, and Kitsune stepped through)! (Sarcastic) Thanks for your support.

L.I.T.: Yes, I have been trying to kill Naru, but all attempts have failed because she always survives.

(Flashback)

(Lee shoots Naru several times with a laser gun. 20 seconds Naru gets up.)

Attempt 2:

Naru: I love this day.

Lee: (from far away) I will get you soon enough Naru (Throws a grenade that lands at Naru's feet. Then he teleports in front of Naru, beats her up DBZ style and then teleports away before the grenade explodes. Two minutes later Naru got up and walked away and the grenade didn't explode. He then picked it up.). This grenade nearly took out Angelica, why didn't this thing explode (grenade explodes and Lee was burned and really pissed off)? Gggggrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Attempt 3:

Lee: If I can't kill Naru I can at least fuck up her day. (Aims a bazooka at Naru who was standing at the end of the hall.) Eat this bitch! (Fires a steel ball at Naru, but she left and Haruka took her place and the ball hit her right in the crotch.)

Haruka: GODDAMMIT (falls to the ground)!!!

Lee: Damn, well at least I ruined Haruka's day, which is like me ruining an older Naru's day. Good thing I hate this lady too.

(End Flashback)

(On the other side of the gate)

Naru: What is this place?

Kitsune: It looks like a bunch of malls in one giant building.

Lee: (stoic) It's the Mall of the Dead.

Su: Dead Mall, Dead Mall, yyyaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!

Lee: Calm down Su.

Su: (jumps on Lee's back, but he was unphased) Do they have food, yummy, yummy food?

Lee: Yes.

Su: Woohoo!

Lee: Let's go in. I have to tell you all a few things (phases into the building).

Motoko: I hope this isn't one of those pranks of his (walks through the automatic doors and everyone else followed suit).

(Inside the building)

(Everyone minus Lee is looking at size of the building from inside)

Kitsune: THIS PLACE IS HUGE (echoes)!!!

Motoko: (on edge) Lee, is this another prank?

Lee: Tama is behind you.

Tama: Myuh!

Motoko: Ack! Get away from me!

Lee: Time for another "Long-Ass Explanation".

Sarah: Please hurry before Motoko tears down the place.

Lee: If she does then all of the dead customers will kill her.

Keitaro: Can we get free stuff here?

Lee: Yes, I'm the co-executive of the Realm of the Dead so my friends and myself get free shit every time I come here, which isn't often.

Keitaro: So can we split up and grab stuff?

Lee: Yeah, but don't under any circumstances open the purple door!

Shinobu: Why is that?

Lee: There are some hot chicks in there that know me, they know who you all are and they'll...do things to you (trying to scare them).

Kitsune: With that settled, let's split up.

Lee: I have something to take care of...Sarah I need your help for this one.

Sarah: Cool (she leaves with Lee).

Kitsune: Let's go Motoko.

Motoko: Y-yeah. I don't care where I go as long as I'm away from that turtle. (Leaves with Kitsune)

Su: (grabs Shinobu) C'mon Shinobu, let's go, let's go!

Shinobu: Su, Su wait a minute (Su took off on a motor scooter while taking Shinobu with her).

Keitaro: Let's go Naru (starts to take a route).

Naru: Hey wait up (follows him)!

Tama: Myuh (flies after them)!

(At the Beer and Swords section)

Kitsune: Oh cool, booze (grabs a big bag and grabs free beer)!!

Motoko: That's ridiculous Kitsune.

Kitsune: Who cares, we get free stuff just for knowing Lee!

Motoko: You're a pistol. (sees medieval weaponry) Oh cool, swords, swords, and more swords (makes a creepy happy face)!!!

(Elsewhere in the Mall)

Su: Yeah, yeah, look at all the high-tech weaponry!

Shinobu: Uh, Su?

Su: What?

Shinobu: (points to a sign) Look at this.

Su: (reads the sign) Why does it say "Beware of Lee" on it (turns around and sees a robot with a letter)? Oh, thank you (reads the letter).

Dear Su,

You're too slow, by the time you read this I will have already taken all of the high-tech machinery.

Catch ya later byatch,

Lee

Su: What (finds all of the stuff gone and graffiti that says "Lee was here.")? NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!

(Near a football stadium)

Sarah: Did you hear something right about now?

Lee: Yeah, it was Su crying because I took all of the high-tech crap.

Sarah: By the way, what did you do with all that stuff anyway?

Lee: I put it all in a dimensional pocket that leads to Keitaro's room.

Sarah: Really?

Lee: No, it's all in the Armory.

Sarah: Won't Su find it?

Lee: Most likely...we're here.

Sarah: (sees a silver door) What's beyond this point?

Lee: A Football Stadium.

Sarah: Your errand is a football game?

Lee: It's a short game...after that we can get more free stuff.

Sarah: Okay (they both walk into the stadium and the door closes).

(Meanwhile)

(Keitaro, Naru and Tama have been throughout the Mall. Keitaro was grabbing porno and school supplies, Naru was grabbing school supplies and underwear and Tama was stocking up on turtle stuff. Eventually they came across the infamous purple door.)

Keitaro: Look at this Naru, it's that door Lee mentioned.

Naru: Let's check it out.

Keitaro: But Lee said...

Naru: I have learned one thing and that is to never take Lee seriously in these type of situations.

Keitaro: But...

Naru: He might be hiding something that's very valuable and he doesn't want to share it with us.

Keitaro: You really think so?

Naru: (getting cocky) I know so.

Keitaro: But what about the creatures Lee warned us about that are behind that door?

Naru: C'mon Keitaro, man up for once in your life (opens the door and walks inside).

Keitaro: I'm gonna hate this. Naru wait up (chases after Naru)!

Tama: (waves good-bye) Myuh (flies away).

L.I.T.: Now you know those two never really listen to my warnings. In fact only Shinobu, Su, Sarah, Haruka, Seta and Kitsune (whenever she's sober) takes my warnings seriously. That's why I have six cards explaining the six scenarios that Keitaro and Naru will be experiencing (holds up a card that says "#1 Meeting the Creatures aka Female Jabberwockies".)

(Inside the room)

Naru: Well Keitaro are you scared of the big dark room?

Keitaro: (stoic) You jumped when the door closed.

Naru: So did you.

Keitaro: But I didn't scream.

Naru: WHO ASKED YOU (Hears feminine laughter echoing throughout the room)!?!

Keitaro: What was that?

Naru: I don't know...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Keitaro look!!

Keitaro: What is it OH MY GOD (sees two pairs of eyes, one pair glowing red and another pair glowing green)!!!

Naru: Ummm, is there a light switch in here (the lights come on and the creatures were revealed to be two 12' naked women with long hair and demon like wings)?

Red Haired Green Eyed Lady: Hello, I'm Lynn.

Green Haired Red Eyed Lady: How do you do I'm Launa.

Naru: Um, what are you two?

Lynn & Launa: We're Jabberwockies!!

L.I.T.: (Holds another reading "#2 Communicating with the Jabberwockies.)

Keitaro: Are you two the creatures Lee warned us about?

Lynn: (excited) Lee mentioned us?

Launa: (equally ecstatic) Alright (Both hopped up and down like giddy school girls)!

Keitaro: (stares at the twin's big breasts) So big and bouncy.

Naru: Grrrr! You per...

Launa: (stops Naru) Hey, don't hit him because he was staring at us.

Lynn: We like it.

L.I.T.: (holds another card reading "#3 Letting the creatures grope you")

Lynn: So Keitaro, do you like what you see (advances towards Keitaro while on her hands and knees)?

Launa: How about you Naru (mimics Lynn's movements)?

Keitaro & Naru: (nervous) Uhhhh, how do you know our names?

Launa: We constantly watch Lee so we know about him and you two (gropes Naru).

Lynn: C'mon Keitaro take me (follows suit, while Keitaro has a nosebleed so major even I question the fact he's still being alive).

L.I.T.: Here is the fourth scenario (holds another card that reads "Escape").

Keitaro & Naru: (Hauling ass) AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

L.I.T.: Ha ha, that was funny, here is the fifth scenario (holds another card reading #5 Get the hell out of the room because the twins won't leave the room, meaning you're home-free).

(Keitaro and Naru exit the room and close the door)

Keitaro: I can't (huff) believe (huff) we almost got...

Naru: (Freaked) Don't even finish that sentence (a light colored fist smashes through the door)!

L.I.T.: Usually, after scenario five it's over, but in this case the twins were obviously too horny to care about anything else. This is what the sixth and final scenario is for (holds the final card reading "#6 If you have gotten this far it means that Lynn and Launa must really have it out for you. My advice is RUN FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHASTITY!!!).

Keitaro & Naru: (Running like hell) Shouldn't you two be chasing Lee, doing each other or something else disgusting?!

Lynn: We would...

Launa: But he is too hard to catch.

Lynn: So we are chasing you two isn't that great?

Keitaro: I don't think I will be able to control myself for much longer.

Naru: If this keeps up I might lose control.

(Interrupt fic)

Sarah: Why are you interrupting the fic this time?

Lee3: I need to give a profile on Lynn and Launa.

Sarah: (whines) But why?

Lee3: So the readers can understand the characters, like I did with Lobo.

Sarah: Just hurry, we're almost at the good parts.

Lee3: Whiny bitch. Lynn is the older twin by 10 seconds, she is 50 years old, but her aging stopped at 18. Why she is infatuated with Lee? Well, the only information was something about a ritual, only Launa a few others of her kind and Lynn herself knows why.

Launa is the younger twin her age is 50, but for some reason her aging stopped two years later than Lynn's. Even though there wasn't a difference between her looks and her sister's, Lynn still rags on her about it. When Lynn leads Launa follows. As you can see they finish each other's sentences. They're half mortal so their aging may stop, but they can still die. The reason why they rarely leave the Purple Door is because they can be vain at times even though they are really hot and have nothing to worry about appearance wise.

Sarah: That was lengthy.

Lee3: True, but chances are the readers may not read that part.

Sarah: (annoyed) Then why did you put it in?

Lee3: So it is there if the readers want to more about my characters.

Sarah: Can we finish this chapter now?

Lee3: Yes...LET'S CONTINUE!!!

(At the football stadium)

Sarah: Well Lee, we're in a football stadium, filled with a crowd of your enemies that you and your friends killed, and worst of all we're participating in a football game with no rules against...which team are playing again?

Lee: Team Doomsday (an explosion occurs in front of them). Here they are (the dust clears and the team is revealed).

Sarah: (face-faults) That's the team?!

Lee: (nonchalant) Yep.

Sarah: Look at them! One of them is a big muscular guy with spikes on his arms and a skull for a head!

Lee: (Stoic) Skull Head.

Sarah: One is a dragon!

Lee: Drago.

Sarah: Another is a Werewolf!

Lee: He's not a Were-anything. He's an artificially created Jackal with human characteristics. His name is Jackal.

Sarah: The last two look like they really hate us!

Lee: That's Renegade and his little psychotic sister Angelica. They have been dead for...over a week now.

Sarah: What killed them?

Renegade: (points at Lee) You're friends, Lee and that Indian girl!

Lee: Kaolla Su is not from India, dude.

Renegade: (pissed) Who cares, it doesn't change the fact that we're gonna kill your asses!

Lee: Good luck trying asshole.

Jackal: (annoyed) Can we hurry up and play already? I wanna get back in time to watch "Spongebob Squarepants".

Skull Head: (excited) I got the ball (holds a glowing football). NOW LET'S PLAY!!!

Angelica: You receive.

Lee: Fine (looks at Sarah).

Sarah: Don't tell me you want me to block someone.

Lee: No I don't want you to do that.

Sarah: Phew.

Lee: I want you to return the kick (Sarah falls over).

(Interrupt fic)

Sarah: (whines) Not again!

Lee3: These are the last profiles and they will be short.

Sarah: As long as they're short.

Lee3: Skull Head is 60 years old (aging stopped at fifty when he died). Easily excited and psychotic, but unlike Angelica he can calm down. Ten years ago he attacked Lee's friends, fought Lee and was shot in the head by a laser Lee fired. Lee still has Skull Head's bludgeon. Drago loves to eat, but he despises Lee with a passion, even though he rarely shows it. Eight years ago Lee raided his base, which was booby-trapped. Unfortunately Drago is pretty stupid and impatient at times. So he left his main chamber headed towards Lee and was destroyed by his own traps. Drago is 17 years old, but is 200 years old in human years.

Jackal's age is estimated at 25 years, but only his creator knows his true age and he died of a Heart Attack minutes after Jackal was created. He is a Mercenary and he attacked Lee three years ago because someone hired him to. After Jackal failed his mission Renegade XII who is the older brother of Renegade and Angelica killed him. He would exact his revenge on Renegade XIII, but his constant composure annoys Renegade a lot.

Renegade XIII and Angelica founded Team Doomsday two days after Lee and Su killed them. They are all out for revenge basically.

Sarah: You call that short?!

Lee3: Shut up you little brat! LET'S CONTINUE WITH THE CHAPTER!!!

Renegade: Okay, let's go (kicks the ball)!

Lee: (pulls out his sword and morphs it into a big laser gun) It's a high one Sarah!!!

Sarah: (catches the ball and runs at the defenders) Lee, you better do something.

Lee: This will be funny as hell (changes his sword into a laser gun and shoots the defenders).

Team Doomsday: (falls to the ground in pain) You asshole, we'll kill you!

Lee: Oh, poor babies. I would say I'm sorry, but we're about to score.

Renegade: Say what (turns his head to see Sarah score a touchdown)? Dammit!

(40 seconds later)

Lee: Okay Sarah, get that ball ready.

Sarah: You just better make that extra point.

Angelica: Y'all better block that kick.

Jackal: (stoic) Shut up bitch.

Sarah: HIKE (makes the hold and Lee makes the kick, which bounced of Skull Head's skull and the kick is still good)!!!

Lee: Yes, let's get ready for kickoff.

Sarah: Yeah (Both of them ran to their forty yard line)!

Angelica: What was that?!

Skull Head: Set back.

Angelica: Oh, because it looked like A FOOTBALL BOUNCING OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND THROUGH THE GOAL POST MAKING THE KICK GOOD!!!!

Drago: Hey, shut up bitch.

Angelica: Well that's the first time I've ever heard you say something THAT WASN"T FOOD RELATED!!!!

Drago: (punches Angelica in the face) Ass-munch.

(Kickoff)

Sarah: Time to kick!

Lee: Booya (runs and kicks the football)!!

Jackal: It's a high one.

Drago: I got it (flies up and catches the ball)! I got it (Lee tackles him and he fumbles the ball)!

Skull Head: (Picks up the ball) I got it!

Sarah: (steals the ball from Skull Head) No, I got it (Angelica tackles Sarah and takes the ball).

Angelica: In your dreams bitch (get clotheslined by Lee).

Lee: You suck (gets speared by Renegade)!

Renegade: Kiss my ass (Sarah kicks him in the nuts). Goddamn (drops the bal and holds his crotch)!

Sarah: Kiss your own ass (gets mauled by Jackal)! AAAAAHHHHH, HELP!

Jackal: (stoic) We're gonna score.

Lee: (hits Jackal in the face with a bat and runs the ball) See ya fuck nuts (ten seconds later Lee scores)! Since everyone is almost unconscious I'll just kick the extra point (does it).

(Kickoff)

Lee: Ready to kick Sarah?

Sarah: Yeah!

Lee: Let's do it (Sarah kicks the ball, while Lee charges at the blockers)!

Jackal: Here it comes.

Skull Head: Renegade, why did you put sister back there as one of the two receivers?

Renegade: I don't know, just make sure Lee doesn't get through!

Skull Head: I can see the obviousness of this plan. Since she SUCKS!!!

Angelica: (catches the ball) I got it!

Renegade: Here he comes!

Lee: Splits into four.

Skull Head: Get 'em (three of the copies were tackled and disappeared shortly after)!

Jackal: Shit, were is the real one?!

Lee: JACKASS!!!

Renegade: (sees Lee heading for Angelica) Dammit, he's gonna takedown Angelica before she even makes it to the forty-yard line!

Lee: I got you now!

Angelica: OH NO!

Lee: Yes (gets speared by Drago)! No (groans)!

Jackal: Protect Angelica (Renegade, Jackal and Skull Head form a line in front of Angelica and charges at Sarah while Drago lags behind.).

Sarah: Dammit, gotta think fast. (Sarah tries to slide under Renegade, but the bounty hunter kicked her in the face sending her flying twenty feet. Then when she landed, she got trampled by a pair of boots, three pairs of basketball shoes and pair of purple high heels.) Dammit Lee where are you?

Lee: (still on Team Doomsday's 20 yard line holding his stomach) I'm gonna blast your asses (gets up and fires an energy blast at Drago).

Sarah: (watches the blast pass over her) Heh,heh,heh, they're in trouble now.

Drago: (sees the energy blast head for the group) Damn, we only have 30 yards to go. (Stops to block the attack, but it was too powerful) OH NOOOOOOOOOO (the energy explodes)!!!

Angelica: Drago!

Skull Head: Don't worry about him we're about to score (20 seconds later, they scored)!

(The Home side of the crowd starts cheering, Lee teleports to the 40-yard line to help Sarah who was struggling to get up.)

Lee: You okay Sarah (helps her up)?

Sarah: I got kicked, ran over and trampled so of course I'm not okay! What happened?

Lee: Team Doomsday just scored.

Sarah: So they score is now 6 to 14.

Lee: They won't score another point. C'mon I have a plan.

Sarah: Cool, let's get ready to block that kick.

(One minute later)

Renegade: Time to kick it.

Jackal: Hike (Drago hikes the ball, Jackal sets the ball to be kicked, Renegade kicks the ball, but Lee was already in the air and blocked the kick...with his crotch.)!

All the Fans: Daaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmn!

Sarah: (caught the ball) I got it. (takes off while Team Doomsday was laughing their asses off.)

Skull Head: That is some funny shit!

Angelica: That is what I have always wanted to see!

Jackal: (laughing) Something is not right here...but I don't give a fuck!

(Lee is struggling to get up, but instead he starts laughing.)

Renegade: What is so funny?

Lee: While you five dumbasses are laughing at me, Sarah is about to score again.

Team Doomsday: WHAT (Looks behind them to see Sarah at the far 30 yard line)?!

Angelica: TAICHIBANA!!!

(A/N: I think that's Japanese for "Tear the bitch apart". I might have to watch "Kill Bill" and look at the subtext closely again.)

Renegade: CHARGE (They all try to chase Sarah, but they got blasted by Lee)!!!!

Lee: Forget someone? YOU'RE CLEAR SARAH!!!

Sarah: Thanks (scores)!

Lee: Morons (flips off Team Doomsday and teleports to the end zone).

Sarah: Way to take one for the team!

Lee: Thanks, though my balls still hurt, but I got another plan that will fool those idiots.

(Extra point attempt)

Renegade: He's gonna kick it!

Lee: Hike (Sarah holds the ball)!

Renegade: (waits until Lee is close to the ball) NOW (the whole team jumps, but Lee grabbed the ball, ran under the five shit-heads, and scored two points at the buzzer)!!!

Lee: Two-point conversion!

Sarah: Now the score is 22 to 6 jackasses!

Announcer: That's the half, the score is Team Doomsday: 6, Lee and Sarah: 22.

(Both teams head to their own Break Rooms.)

Lee: All we have to do is score a couple more times and the game is over.

Sarah: Let me guess, first to 36 points?

Lee: Yep.

(Team Doomsday's Break Room)

Renegade: I can't believe I let my frustration get the best of me, allowing me to fall for that trick.

Angelica: (seductive) Don't be sad big brother, everyone gets frustrated at some point because it's an emotion...like love (puts her hand down his pants).

Renegade: GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE (Angelica quickly obeys and blushes)!!!!

Skull Head: That girl ain't right.

Jackal: Saw that coming.

Drago: I'm hungry.

Skull Head: (annoyed) Your big-ass is always hungry!

(Somewhere else inside the mall)

Shinobu: Hey Su look at this (sees a door that says Mekanos on it)

Su: Cool, let's go in!

Shinobu: That's not a good idea...Su?

Su: (already in the room) Oh wow it's full of all those high-tech weapons Lee took!

Shinobu: Su, let's just get out of here.

Su: (packed the weapons in a big bag while giggling) Weapons, weapons, weapons. Weapons of mass destruction (giggles)!

Shinobu: Now what are you doing?!

Su: (spray paints "Su was here" all over the walls, floor and ceiling) Payback. I guess the so-called "Pranksta Gangsta" finally screwed up!

Shinobu: Su, let's...(Su grabs the loot and Shinobu and leaves)

(Elsewhere)

Naru: Where are the Jabberwockies?

Keitaro: I don't know, I thought they were behind us.

Naru: I guess after an hour of running we finally lost them.

Launa: (from above) Guess again.

Lynn: (phased through the floor) We want you two to pleasure us.

Naru & Keitaro: NOWAY (flees)!!!

Lynn: If you run...

Launa: ...it will only entice us to chase you!

(A.N.: Motoko and Kitsune are drunk as hell so I'm just going back to Lee and Sarah who are stepping onto the field now.)

Sarah: So that's Operation Landmine?

Lee: Yeah, but we are going to execute it if were on offense.

Skull Head: Hey shit-head, you got a coin?

Lee: Yeah. You faceless fuckhole.

Renegade: I call heads!

Lee: (annoyed) I haven't flipped the coin yet (flips the coin).

Sarah: Call it.

Renegade: HEADS!!!

(The coin lands on Lee's hand)

Skull Head: What's the result?

Lee: (punches Skull Head in...what he calls a face) Heads, you losers wanna kick or receive?

Drago: Receive.

Lee: Fine.

Sarah: So much for Operation Landmine. Lee did you use a two sided coin?

Lee: I've never owned one.

Jackal: Drago, don't eat the ball when you catch it okay?

Drago: I'll try.

Jackal: Don't try...DO IT!!!

(Kickoff)

(Sarah kicks the ball, Drago caught it, a few seconds later he got tackled by Lee.)

Angelica: (quizzical) Big brother did you see him tackle Drago?

Renegade: No.

Jackal: Even with my advanced hearing and sight all I could do was hear him, nothing else.

Sarah: Nice tackle.

Lee: I just want to end this game quickly.

(First down)

Renegade: Hike!

(Five seconds later)

Lee: Too slow (uses super speed to ram Renegade so hard he flew into his own end zone).

Sarah: Yay, free safety! That means we have 26 points.

Drago: SHUT UP (Hit Sarah in the head, knocking her out)!!!

(Kickoff)

Lee: Here we go (kicks the ball)!

Jackal: (Caught it) Let's go (starts running)!

Sarah: Ready the torpedo Captain!

Lee: (engulfs Sarah into his tail) Torpedo loaded.

Jackal: Behold, my speed (starts running super fast).

Lee: (positions his tail like that of a scorpion) Sarah Torpedo...LAUNCH (fires Sarah out of his tail)!!!

Jackal: He fired her at a speed of Mach 2! (Jumps over Sarah) You missed moron (gets hit by the Sonic boom and is sent flying back to the 5 yard line and the rest of the team...fell on him) GET OFF ME YOU FAT-ASS!!!

Angelica: I'M NOT FAT!!!

Jackal: I MEANT DRAGO DUMBASS!!!

Sarah: (still flying) Woohoo we stopped the play (flies into the scoreboard and gets electrocuted)! Ouch.

Lee: Well, at least she's not dead.

(First down)

Angelica: Hike (Throws the ball, Skull Head is about to catch it, but Lee jumps in the way to intercept the ball, the ball bounces off Lee's head, Sarah catches it and runs about 5yards before getting tackled by Angelica.)!

Lee: Nice job Sarah.

Sarah: Should we try it now?

Lee: Fine, but remember I won't be around for the kickoff.

(First down)

Renegade: What the hell are they doing?

Jackal: They appear to be at the other end of the field.

Renegade: I can see that Jackal, but the line of scrimmage is on our goal line. What they are doing is unorthodoxed just like this very fic itself.

Sarah: Hike (Lee hikes the ball to Sarah and charges at Team Doomsday, but stops halfway falls to the ground)!

Skull Head: Heh, heh, heh, he's spent (The evil team charged at Sarah, but when Renegade stepped on Lee, he exploded and Team Doomsday went flying in all directions like in Matrix Reloaded.)!

Jackal: (While flying) So that was Lee's plan.

Renegade: (annoyed) A little late don't you think?

(Sarah ran until she scored a touchdown.)

(Attempting the extra point)

Sarah: Lee wasn't kidding when he mentioned about his rejuvenation taking time. (Hikes the ball, and attempts a two point conversion and barely makes it.)

(A/N: Which is worse, Team Doomsday failing to prevent Sarah from making the two point conversion or failing to get the first down when it's "Fourth and One"?)

(Kickoff)

Renegade: Dammit, all they have to do now is kick a field goal.

Jackal: Relax, Lee need time to reform, we're on offense, and to top it all off, that little girl is lucky she can even stand on her own two feet let alone kick the ball.

(Sarah miraculously kicks the ball near the end zone, Angelica catches it and Sarah gets run over again and the evil bastards scored.)

(One minute later)

Jackal: (attempts the extra point) C'mon (Lee appears out of nowhere and catches the ball). WHAT?!

Lee: FLARE STAR (A bright flash of light blinds the evil punks and a fiery rock fell from the sky and exploded sending Team Doomsday flying. Lee was carrying the ball and Sarah while running until he scored.)!!!

Sarah: Yeah! We won!

Lee: Oh yeah, 40 to 12 baby (gets blasted in the back) OW!!

Renegade: You bastards!

Sarah: Awe, are you pissed because you lost?

Renegade: UUUUUURRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

Jackal: (stoic) Let it go.

Angelica: Why should we let it go (gets sucker punched by a fan)?!

Drago: That's why (two minutes later a riot broke out between Lee and Sarah's fans and Team Doomsday's fans with Team Doomsday in the middle of it. Lee and Sarah on the other hand left right before the riot broke out.).

(Back at the Mall of the Dead)

Sarah: That was fun.

Lee: Are you sure you're okay? You did get trampled twice.

Sarah: I'm sure.

Lee: Good thing none of her bones were broken.

Sarah: Where to next?

Lee: The high-tech armory I mentioned earlier. I need to pick up some high-tech stuff, remember?

Sarah: Yeah, let's go!

L.I.T.: Boy won't they be in for a big surprise. Anyway, it will be a little while before they get there and Motoko and Kitsune are staggering to the entrance while knocking things over so we're gonna fast forward to Keitaro and Naru, who are still on the run from the twins.

(Elsewhere)

Naru: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Keitaro: (Stops to save Naru who is struggling to get free from the Lynn and Launa's grasp) LET HER GO (punches Lynn and kicks Launa sending them both flying into a wall)!!! Let's go Naru!

Naru: Right (both of them make their getaway)!

L.I.T.: Damn, didn't think he had it in him. I guess he can fight when he wants to...(snickers) yeah right, that was a one-time thing and you readers know it (starts laughing)!

(Inside Mekanos)

Sarah: (smirks) Looks like Su cleaned you out.

Lee: Yeah well the joke is still on her.

Sarah: Why (Lee opens an underground door revealing upgraded versions of the weapons Lee took and Kaolla stole.)?

Lee: That's why (Lee took the weapons and he and Sarah left the armory). Hey, you want any candy?

Sarah: Yeah!

Lee: Cool, there's a vending machine next to the armory (they walk to the machine).

Sarah: This says we need a Dead Dollar for a bag of candy. What's a Dead Dollar?

Lee: That's the monetary unit for the Realm of the Dead and the same thing applies here (Side-kicks the machine and all sorts of candy came out).

Sarah: Nice trick.

Lee: Thanks, let's load up and head back to the entrance.

Sarah: Okay (Sarah gets a giant bag and stocked up on the candy, while Lee put a "I cleaned out this one", sign on the machine.).

(30 minutes later at the entrance)

Su: Woohoo we're ready to go!

Shinobu: F-finally back at the entrance (faints).

Lee: Great, you two are here.

Su: (giggles) Yep, I got a whole lot of weapons and machine parts.

Lee: (smirks) So did I.

Shinobu: (wakes up) I...got...candy materials.

Sarah: Anything else?

Shinobu: Well um...

Su: Underwear, underwear, panties, bras, you name it!!!

Sarah: (whispers to Lee) I can picture Su a lesbian.

Lee: (whispers back) I'm thinking bisexual.

(Kitsune and Motoko stagger in drunk as hell.)

Kitsune: (barely standing) The booze here is great.

Lee: Thanks, most of it is either American or German.

Motoko: I got some great swords as well as other weapons.

Sarah: No shit. Hey, where are the Spaz and the Tits?

Lee: Wait for it.

(Keitaro and Naru come running.)

Keitaro: I can't believe I kicked her.

Naru: Thanks, for saving me.

Keitaro: You're welcome.

Lee: Get moving guys. I'll be right behind you.

All: Okay (everyone made a hasty exit with their stuff right before Lynn and Launa made an appearance).

Launa: OH MY GOD!!!

Lynn: IT'S YOU!!!

Lee: If you are looking for Keitaro and Naru they just left the mall.

Launa & Lynn: (frowns) Awwwwwww!

Lee: Heh, heh, heh, too bad, now you can't...(Lynn rubs her breast against the back of Lee's head.) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH (Launa shoved his face in between hers and Lynn pressed her breasts against her younger sister's...I guess to prevent escape)!!!

Lynn: At least we can hold and caress you.

Launa: Lynn, weren't going to do that to begin with?

Lynn: Oh yeah.

Lee: (muffled) This is very nice, but I gotta get outta here.

Launa: Big sister, I think a part of him just had a growth spurt!

Lynn: I think so (Lee electrocutes them both) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Lee: (escapes the grounded sisters) Now I know how Keitaro feels when Kitsune messes with his mind (leaves).

L.I.T.: Hey, what are you doing you moron! You were in ecstasy just now (light bulb burns out)! Awe, now I have change the light bulb in the dark!

(Back at Hinata House)

Lee: (comes through the portal, which shortly disappears) Whew.

Naru: Thanks.

Keitaro: Yeah, you saved our chastities.

Lee: Keitaro, you would have lost control in 2 minutes after they caught you.

Naru: How long would you last in their grasp?

Lee: A month.

Keitaro: (sarcastic) That's self-control.

Lee: Better than you shit-head.

L.I.T.: There ends another day of misadventure at the Hinata House...wait a minute.

(Naru's room explodes and she goes flying all the to Hokkaido.)

Naru: Lee, I swear, I will KILL YOU!!!!

L.I.T.: Now it's a complete day (turns off the light bulb that was just changed).

To Be Continued

Antics: Almost Over

Keitaro: So, it's almost over.

Lee: Yeah, but we got three more chapters to go.

Sarah: So far this chapter was my favorite!

Kitsune: That's because you got a decent role in this chapter.

Sarah: Well it's not like the author wanted to write about you being drunk off your ass.

Su: YOU FOUND UPGRADED VERSIONS OF THE WEAPONS I JACKED FROM YOU?!

Lee: Exactly psycho-girl.

Su: WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lee: Su can cry?

Keitaro: That is odd.

Naru & Motoko: You made Su cry you bas...(gets blasted by Lee)!

Lee: Shut the fuck up!

Kitsune: (laughs) I'll never give tired of that.

Motoko: I bet you won't.

Sarah: What happened to Team Doomsday?

Lee: L-cam 5 (An advanced floating camera appeared)! Show the footage.

(L-cam 5 played out the whole riot)

Naru: All that over a game?

Lee: Most of those dead fools want me dead.

Sarah: (sees something disturbing) Look at this.

Lee: Oh my god...ANGELICA IS FUCKING HER BROTHER!!!

Keitaro: Cover the eyes of the youth!

Lee: Renegade is not even conscious!!!

Motoko: TURN IT OFF!!!

Lee: (shuts it off) Oh my freakin' god.

Kitsune: She has got to be horny.

Lee: (pissed off) I really hate that girl!

Su & Mutsumi: What will do kill her?

Lee: I already did that!

Keitaro: Their gonna have some screwed up kids.

Lee: They have to be alive for that!

Naru: (smiling) Are you sure?

Lee: (makes a face that caused everybody to run) DOES THIS LOOK LIKE I'M UNSURE?!

(Everyone runs)

Lee: (smiles) That got rid of them. Now I can watch Excel-Saga...play it L-cam.

(L-cam complies)

Lee3: Well, that's it 12 chapters down 3 to go. That last Antics was a bit out there. Maybe it was because this one actually has something to do with the story or it could be that I was watching "Fight Club" for the first time while typing the Antics portion of this chapter. Anyway, review if you want to. I start college as a junior next week so updating might be tough, but then again the next three chapters are short. See ya next time.


	13. Stuck on a Coaster: 2 Days Remaining

Lee3: Well, after this only two chapters to go.

Haruka: At least they aren't long.

Lee3: They're pretty short compared to the last twelve chapters.

Naru: What gave you the idea for this chapter a comedian?

Lee3: This chapter came to me after watching a Comedy Central special featuring Gabriel Iglesias.

Keitaro: What's it about (falls through a trap door)? What did I do?

Masked Reader: You almost caused Lee3 to give away the plot.

Lee3: Thanks a lot (pulls the mask off) Hanku.

Hanku: (smirks) You figured it out.

Lee3: When you said "DAMMIT" a while back you gave yourself away.

Hanku: (laughs) Well I guess the secret is out.

Kitsune: Shouldn't you be starting this chapter now?

Lee3: True. I don't own any of the Love Hina characters or the series. As a lot of you know I don't own Hanku either. Even though he is not even in this story. Well, that just about covers the legal IT!!!

Stuck on a Coaster: 2 Days Remaining

(In an Amusement Park)

Kitsune: Do you know where you are?

Lee: (Roller coaster roars by) An amusement park?

Motoko: (sigh) (cuts off the blindfold) The roller coaster defeated the purpose of the guessing game.

Sarah: Whatever, let's go have some fun!

Mutsumi: (shows up out of nowhere) Does everyone have a plan for today?

Lee: (stoic) Where did you come from?

Mutsumi: From the café, Haruka gave me the day off.

Lee: She's not gonna be lonely is she?

Mutsumi: Nope, she's busy today.

Keitaro: Seta is there isn't he?

Mutsumi: Yep!

Naru: Let's split up now and have fun.

Motoko: (grabs Lee's hand) C'mon, let's go.

Lee: (suspicious) What is she up to?

Naru: Keitaro, Shinobu, let's get a move on.

Shinobu: Okay.

Keitaro: Coming. This is great!

Kitsune: I'll go with you.

Mutsumi: Alright.

Su: C'mon Sarah, let's go play!

Sarah: Yay!

(Everyone goes his or her separate ways.)

(Mutsumi and Kitsune were eating watermelons and drinking beer, which is odd because there is no alcohol in an amusement park...I don't think there are watermelons either.)

Kitsune: Yeah, this is good beer.

Mutsumi: You said that last chapter.

Kitsune: You weren't even there!

Mutsumi: So?

Kitsune: So, how would you even know I made that statement!

Mutsumi: It's an anime/manga fic it's supposed to be unorthodoxed.

Kitsune: Do you even know what that word means?

Mutsumi: (smiles) Not a clue...ooh a triangular watermelon!

Kitsune: I don't have a clue either...ooh Heineken!

(Arcade)

(Sarah and Su were messing around in the arcade beating every game in sight.)

Sarah: Yeah, we rule the games!

Su: We rule the entire Arcade!

Sarah: No one can tame us!

Su: Ya got that right byatch (racks up the high-score)!

Sarah: (impersonates Scotty) I don't think the machine can take much more.

Su: Really, then the machine will just have to be destroyed (pushes the buttons so fast she causes the machine to catch fire and then explode).

Sarah: Should we leave?

Su: I think it would be best...let's go (she and Sarah left the arcade before the manager showed up)!

(On the Roller coaster)

(Lee and Motoko are on a roller coaster that is about to get rolling.)

Lee: Why did you take me with you?

Motoko: (blushes) I wanted to.

Lee: That was disturbing...better say something else. But why, we have tried to hurt each other on numerous occasions.

Motoko: Yeah well since you leave in 2 days I thought that we get along for little while.

Lee: Like the Big Rig incident?

Motoko: Yeah, without the fighting

Lee: ...and me kicking your ass (roller coaster starts it's ascend).

Motoko: Forget about that!

Lee: Motoko, try closing your eyes during the drop, it's cool.

Motoko: Whatever (The drop starts).

Lee: (closes eyes) Yeah!

Motoko: (closes her eyes) Yaaaaaaay (they come to a loop and they got stuck in middle of it)!!!

Motoko: (opens her eyes) What the hell?

Lee: (opens his eyes) Oh crap!

Lee & Motoko: WE'RE UPSIDE DOWN!!!

Lee: (looks back) Hey, we are the only ones on this thing!

Motoko: That explains why there was no line.

Lee: Really? I thought that the lady announcer saw us and let just the two of us on the ride for romantic purposes and other stupid shit like that.

Motoko: I just took advantage of the opportunity.

Lee: Why wait for a private ride?

Motoko: These damn machines never work!

Lee: Actually, the roller coaster machines only stop the cart at the end of the ride and get the cart up the hill for the first drop.

Motoko: What about the rest of the ride?

Lee: That's all left to inertial, momentum and maybe a few other things.

Motoko: how do you know all this?

Lee: Eighth grade Science.

(Elsewhere)

Naru: Keitaro?

Keitaro: Yeah?

Naru: Do you think it was okay for Motoko and Lee to be alone together?

Keitaro: It was her idea so it was "Drag Along at Her Own Risk".

Shinobu: They're gonna fight.

Keitaro & Naru: (Lowers their heads) You're right.

(Keitaro turns his head and sees Naru's nipples, then gets a nosebleed.)

Naru: You

Keitaro: Oh no.

Naru: BASTARD (punches Keitaro into the roller coaster that Lee and Motoko are stuck on)!!!

Shinobu: There he goes.

(At a fast food stand)

Su: (sees the airborne Keitaro) Look there's Keitaro!

Sarah: Go dorkus go!

Keitaro: SHUT UP YOU BRATS!!!!

(Back at the Coaster)

Motoko: (stoic) Look it's Keitaro.

Lee: Time to "return to sender".

Motoko: (smirks) This might be fun.

(As soon as Keitaro got close enough Lee socked him back to Naru's position at 4 times the speed.)

Motoko: You know he could've helped us.

Lee: How? He's incompetent.

Motoko: True.

(Back to Naru and Shinobu)

Naru: What's that?

(A few seconds later Keitaro plummeted on Naru and a crater was formed.)

Shinobu: What happened?

Keitaro: (gets up as if nothing happened) Motoko and Lee are stuck on the roller coaster!

Naru & Shinobu: WHAT?!

(Two hours later)

Lee: Motoko, can you tell me something?

Motoko: If it involves "I love you", forget it.

Lee: It's not that dumbass!

Motoko: Oh, then what is the question?

Lee: WHY THE HELL DID KEITARO AND THE OTHERS BRING THE MEDIA HERE?!!

(News crews from around the world were standing at the base of the ride.)

Japanese Reporter: I'm here at the amusement park and right behind me is the roller coaster where a local and an American tourist who looks like an NBA player are stuck in the middle of the loop.

Lee: (from the cart) I'M NOT AN NBA PLAYER YOU FUCKIN' BITCH!!!

Japanese Reporter: For 2 hours those two have been stuck on that ride. I still wonder how the big guy can in that cart.

Lee: That's it I'm using my powers to get us out of here.

Motoko: No, just blast the news crews.

Lee: (Looks at Motoko with suspicion) Are you sure?

Motoko: After that run in with Angelica I have little tolerance for the media.

Lee: Okay (blasts the news crews).

(On the ground)

Keitaro: What was that for?

Kitsune: Maybe they want some alone time.

Su: (shows up out of nowhere) He's getting naughty feelings!

Naru: Doubt it.

Shinobu: Naru?

Naru: He wouldn't have done what he did if Motoko hadn't have told him to do it.

Keitaro: (panics) Oh my god, Naru sided with Lee on something...IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!!!

Su: Y2K IS COMING BACK WITH A VENGENCE!!!

Shinobu: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sarah: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Kitsune: RAGNOROK IS APPROACHING! WHY DID I WASTE MY LIFE!!!

Mutsumi: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Naru: I can't believe what I said either, I MUST BE LOSING MY MIND!!!

(Back to the Roller coaster)

Motoko: (sees the people running and screaming) What are those idiots doing?

Lee: (witnessing the panic) I don't know. I heard something about Y2K coming back with a vengeance.

Motoko: They're not going to get us out of here are they?

Lee: Not a chance in hell. I guess I'm gonna have to use my powers to get us out of here.

Motoko: Before you do...I wanted to...ask you something (blushes).

Lee: What?

Motoko: Do you...want to...check out the rest of the park with me?

Lee: Sure (Grabs Motoko and teleports away from the cart, while the rest of the Hinata residents and the populace of the amusement park run around panicking over nothing.).

(Back at Hinata Café)

Haruka: I am really glad I stayed out of that one.

Seta: Same here. Well Haruka how about...(gets punched out by Haruka)

Haruka: How about leaving me alone.

To Be Continued

Antics: Pathetic

Lee: What the hell was wrong with you guys?

Keitaro: We're sorry...we panicked.

Motoko: Just because Naru agreed with Lee on something, though that is pretty disturbing IS NO REASON TO START A NATIONWIDE PANIC!!!

Su: Does anyone have a banana?

Lee: Shut up Kaolla.

Su: Gimme that bucket of food you gave me a few Antics ago.

Lee: That was animal excrements.

Su: Is that a food?

Lee: SHIT STUPID, THE BUCKET WAS FULL OF SHIT!!!

Su: OH MY GOD (runs off)!!!

Kitsune: (laughing) I was so waiting for you to say that!

Lee: Thank the author for typing that in.

Motoko: (looks at Lee sternly) That was mean.

Lee: I was tired of her "Is that a food?" questions.

Naru: I agree with you on that.

All the residents minus Motoko & Lee: Naru agreed with Lee FOR YOUR LIVES (everyone panics and takes off)!!!

Motoko: No, no, wait, comeback!

Lee: Have they learned absolutely nothing?

Motoko: (sigh) It would appear to be so.

Lee: Want to kiss me?

Motoko: (blushes) NOWAY!!!

Lee: (starts laughing) I was just joking...why did you blush like that?

Motoko: (looks away) I wasn't blushing!

Lee: (gives a "whatever" look) If you say so Motocross.

Lee3: Only two chapters left.

Naru: Only two chapters until my hell will be heaven (falls through a trapdoor)! Not again!

Hanku: That got rid of her.

Lee3: Wanna go play Soul Caliber 2?

Hanku: I thought you'd never ask.

Mutsumi: Lee3, aren't you forgetting something?

Lee3: Oh yeah. Review if you want to my loyal readers. Until next time.


	14. Back Track: 1 Day Warning

Lee3: Almost done.

Su: Lee3?

Lee3: What is it?

Su: I let someone in here again.

Lee3: Who?

???: (busts in) Kobayashi is here yeah, yeah, yeah!

Lee3: YOU LET POEMI IN HERE?!

Su: Yes.

Poemi: Kobayshi is...(gets shot out of the area)

Lee3: That got rid of her (eyes Su). What have I told you about bringing other anime characters that are not in this story here, especially the hyperactive ones?!

Su: That I must never ever do it again, unless I have permission from you.

Lee3: Exactly (pushes a button and a boxing glove hits Su and is sent flying far away). I don't know if that girl is a genius or an idiot.

Hanku: Tell me about it.

Lee3: Well I better start the disclaimer before...(accidently steps on a button and Hanku gets ejected)

Hanku: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Lee3: (nervous) Oops, sorry about that Hanku. Anyway, I don't own the Love Hina characters or the series. If I did, I would have Su take over the world. I don't own Hanku either, but since he isn't in the main part of the storyline does it matter? I don't own the Offspring songs "Have You Ever" and "Staring At The Sun". That aside let's (steps in a Bear Trap) OW! Now I know how that mom from "Lassie" IT!!!

Back Track: 1 Day Warning

(It is the final day and the whole crew is throwing a farewell party for Lee.)

Lee: You better believe it, c'mon let's face it I am the best character here.

Naru: Stop with the ego.

Lee: Why should I? I'm not a pussy, or a total asshole, and I am intelligent.

Kitsune: For an intelligent guy, you sure do cuss half the time.

Lee: And most of the time it was off the definition of the dictionary you stupid, gambling, binge drinking, bitch.

(Everyone laughs)

Naru: When we first met I thought you were...

Lee: Another Keitaro?

Naru: Yeah, but now...

Lee: You think I am a total jerk-off that doesn't tolerate your shenanigans.

Naru: Right, that is...

Lee: ...getting really annoying.

Motoko: I just plain hated you.

Lee: Same here, until after I defeated you.

Motoko: Oh yeah, and you think I'm hot.

Lee: If you haven't noticed you are hot, you just need to be more feminine (Motoko blushed).

Shinobu: You scared me when you first arrived.

Lee: I think it was because I was beating Motoko's ass angrily at the time.

Shinobu: But now...well...um...

Lee: (annoyed) Are you planning on answering today?

Shinobu: You still sort of scare me.

Keitaro: (laughing) You are a loser.

Lee: (pissed) At least I don't get my ass kicked by girls.

Su: Heyas (tries to kick Lee, but he ducks and Su flew into a wall)!

Lee: Shit-head mad scientist. You're a crazy-ass you know that?

Su: Yeah, but we had some fun didn't we?

Lee: Blowing shit up, zapping people and killing my bounty enemies, yeah I would say that's loads of fun.

Su: What about the Mecha Tamas.

Lee: You mean those lame-ass series 3-25? I was happy to destroy them.

Su: Like I destroyed your Wolfen series 8-30?

Lee: I destroyed more of your robots.

Su: True, but we tied on the Gundams and ships.

Lee: That was enjoyable.

Kitsune: Well, I think it was more fun with you around (pats Lee on the back).

Lee: What are you talking about? You were passed out half the time.

(Mutsumi starts giggling)

Lee: You were passed out behind the bushes for almost a month so you shouldn't be laughing.

Mutsumi: True, but we did have fun.

Lee: Yeah, I had a lot of fun doing this (pulls a cord that came out of nowhere and a triangular watermelon fell on her head).

Mutsumi: (eating the fruit from the inside out.) This is delicious.

Lee: It also explodes (pushes the button on the detenator and the fruit explodes).

Sarah: Well I had fun!

Keitaro: (annoyed) Oh yeah you did.

Naru: You and Lee pranked us over and over again.

Sarah & Lee: Thanks, we'll take that as a compliment.

Keitaro: Your pranks got me beat up!

Naru: I went flying through the roof, landed outside and got covered in my own feces!

Lee: Ha, I remember now, you were covered in your own shit (laughs)!

Sarah: The rest of you minus Mutsumi and Haruka really had to pee.

Motoko: (annoyed) Glad we, amused you two.

Haruka: You were a pain in my ass.

Lee: But when I turned you into a vampire you enjoyed yourself right?

Haruka: Well...yeah.

Lee: Freaking out Naru is what I enjoy (kicks Naru for trying to sneak up on him).

Naru: Damn!

Motoko: (whispers to Lee) I heard about what you did to Tsuruko and the dojo.

Lee: (whispers) After I defeated Tsuruko, your other sisters attacked me...I had no choice.

Motoko: It's okay, they'll rebuild.

Lee: Phew, thanks.

Sarah: Why, did you and Naru always fight?

Lee: She's a bitch with anger issues!

Naru: He's an asshole!

Lee & Naru: We'll never agree on anything...ever!

Keitaro: You two agreed on that.

Lee & Naru: (looks at each other) DAMMIT!!!

Kitsune: When do you leave?

Lee: Tomorrow morning.

Mutsumi: Out of the pranks, the accidents, the action, etc. What was the most fun you've had while being here?

Naru: He'll probably say "hurting Naru"!

Lee: Actually, it was the Big Rig incident.

Su: Why is that?

Lee: Because things didn't really kick off until after that incident.

Shinobu: True, like the Dark Dragon rampage?

Su: Or the Werewolf incident.

Lee: Thanks for helping me ice Renegade and Angelica that night Kaolla.

Su: Don't mention it.

Mutsumi: Too late he already did.

Keitaro: What about the vamp thing?

Motoko: If you forgot, that was an elaborate prank thought up by Lee and I.

Lee: I told Motoko that if she would help me scare Naru, I would grant her another rematch.

Naru: That was a good joke, but it was still mean (pouts).

Lee: Don't pout you're what seventeen?

Naru: Still, how did you fake the vampire bites?

Lee: You're kidding right? I didn't fake the vamp bites.

Naru: You can't be serious.

Haruka: No, he's right. I was the first one he bit.

Seta: (crashes through a window) Haruka bit me!

Naru: Oh GOD (faints)!!!

(Everyone eats, drinks and rushes to the bathroom because Lee and Sarah put Laxitives in the food while Naru was unconscious. Afterward the "Get up and Go Special" everyone continued with the party until...)

Lee: (unsheathes his sword) You ready Motoko?

Motoko: Yeah (follows suit)!

Lee & Motoko: Let's GOOOOOOOO (both charge at each other)!!!!

To Be Concluded

Antics: Missing You

Lee: Wait for it...(Haruka turns the corner and Lee throws and rotten tomato at Haruka and it makes contact.) Take that bitchy aunt!

Haruka: Your dead (starts running towards him)!

Lee: Your stinky (teleports to the roof of the Hinata dorm).

Motoko: (depressed) Another prank?

Lee: (semi-depressed) Yeah.

Motoko: Are you gonna miss us?

Lee: Yes, especially you.

Motoko: (blushes) Why?

Lee: I don't know, I guess it is because you're the author's favorite character.

Motoko: Really?

Lee: (smiles) Yeah.

Motoko: (shocked) I thought you were gonna say "No" and laugh at me!

Lee: You're not gonna freak out like the other dumbasses here are you?

Motoko: No, I'm more rational than that.

Lee: (relieved) Cool, do you mind if I sing a few of my favorite songs?

Motoko: No.

Lee: (unsheathes his sword and transforms it into a Double Neck Guitar) These are a couple of my favorite Offspring songs.

Motoko: Why are you going to sing?

Lee: Because I want to...plus I listen to these songs when I am feeling down.

Motoko: Oh, well you can start anytime.

Lee: (starts playing)

_Falling, I'm Falling (x4) _

_Have you ever walked through a room_

_But it was more like the room passed around you_

_Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through_

_Have you ever been at some place, recognizing everybody's face_

_Until you realized that there was no one there you knew_

_Well I know_

_Some days, my souls confined and out of mind_

_Sleep forever (I know)_

_Some days, I'm so outshined and out of time_

_Have you ever_

_Falling, I'm Falling (x2)_

_Have you ever buried your face in your hands_

_Cause no one around you understands_

_Or has the slightest idea what is that makes you be_

_Have you ever felt there was more_

_Like someone else was keeping score_

_And what could make you whole was simply out of reach_

_Well I know_

_Some days I'll try again and not pretend_

_This time forever (I know)_

_Some days I'll get it straight but not today_

_Have you ever_

_Falling, I'm Falling (x2)_

_Some days, my souls confined and out of mind_

_Sleep forever_

_Some days, my darkest friend is me again_

_Have you ever_

_Some day, I'll try again and not pretend_

_This time forever_

_Some day, I'll get it straight but not today_

_Have you ever_

_When the truth walks away_

_Everybody stays_

_Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay_

_So if you walk away, who is gonna stay_

_Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place_

_When the truth walks away, everybody stays_

_Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay_

_So if you walk away, who is gonna stay_

_Cause I'd like to make the world be a better place_

_When the truth walks away, everybody stays_

_Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay_

_So if you walk away, who is gonna stay_

_Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place_

_I'd like to leave the world as a better place_

_I'd like to think the world_

Motoko: (crying) That was touching!

Lee: (Uneasy) I'm gonna sing the second song now.

Motoko: (still crying) Go ahead.

Lee: I hope this will get her to stop crying. (Starts playing again)

_Maybe life is like a ride on a freeway _

_Dodging bullets while you're trying to find your way_

_Everyone's around but no one does a damn thing_

_It brings me down but I won't let them_

_If I seem bleak_

_Well you'd be correct_

_And if I don't speak_

_It's cause I can't disconnect_

_But I won't be burned by the reflection_

_Of the fire in your eyes_

_As your staring at the sun (x4)_

_When I ran I didn't feel like a runaway_

_When I escaped I didn't feel like I got away_

_There's more to living than only surviving_

_Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying_

_Though you hear me_

_I don't think that you relate_

_My will is something that you can't confiscate_

_So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated by destruction in your eyes_

_As your staring at the sun (x2)_

_When I ran I didn't feel like a runaway_

_When I escaped I didn't feel like I got away_

_There's more to living than only surviving_

_Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying_

_Though you hear me_

_I don't think that you relate_

_My will is something_

_That you can't confiscate_

_So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated by destruction in your eyes_

_As you're staring at the sun (x2)_

_Maybe life is ride a on a freeway_

_Dodging bullets while your trying to find your way_

_Everyone's around, but does a damn thing_

_It brings me down, but I won't let them_

_If I seem bleak_

_Well you'd be correct_

_And if I don't speak_

_It's cause I can't disconnect_

_But I won't be burned by the reflection_

_Of the fire in you eyes_

_As your staring at the sun (x4)_

Lee: (stops playing and singing) So what did you think (Motoko is still crying)? You weren't listening to the second song were you (hugs Lee and is crying on his chest)? C'mon...stop crying. As much as I like this...she is crying on one of my good shirts. (Starts blushing) Can we end the Antics short now?

Lee3: Yes.

Lee: Thank you.

Lee3: There is only one chapter left.

Naru: YAAAAAAAAAAY (gets hit by a cinder block)!!!

Lee3: No one was asking you!

Motoko: (crying) I'm gonna miss all this (falls through a trap door).

Lee3: I can't take all that emotion.

Kitsune: That's why you will never get a girlfriend.

Lee3: (beats Kitusne repeated with a steel Baseball bat) If I wanted someone to tell me that, I have a mother to do that for you!

Hanku: (pissed) LEE3 YOU BASTARD!!!

Lee3: DUDE, THE EJECTION PLATFORM WAS ACCIDENT (starts running)!!!

Hanku: (chases Lee3 with an Ak47) COMEBACK HERE!!!

Lee3: Review if you want to (dodges several bullets)! See you all one more time (gets shot in the ass)! Ow my ass!


	15. Finale: Farewell to the Hinata Crew

Lee3: This is the last chapter.

Hanku: (sigh) I know. How is your ass?

Lee3: It's fine I took the bullet out. You didn't have to shoot me.

Hanku: I know...hey we're here (opens the door).

Lee3: What the hell is all this?

Love Hina cast: SURPRISE!!!

Lee3: (stoic) What is this for?

Keitaro: For finishing this fic!

Naru: And we baked a big cake for you.

Hanku: It's probably a trick.

Lee3: (tastes the cake) It had to be butterscotch. (Hears a ticking noise and hears a breathing noise) Thank you all, but I'm gonna go start the fic now (leaves and Hanku follows him)

Hanku: Why wouldn't you eat the cake?

Lee3: Well it was: breathing, ticking, and I hate butterscotch (hears a roar).

Naru: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH THE CAKE IS ALIVE!!!

Keitaro: SU YOU REALLY FUCKED UP (the cake explodes)!!!!

Lee3: Time for the disclaimer.

Hanku: Lee3 doesn't own the Love Hina characters or the series.

Lee3: If I did, that cake would have devoured Naru before exploding. I also don't own this jackass, I'm just using him for this part. I don't own the song "Macarena" Costa del Sol owns that song...I think the group is called Costa del Sol, oh well who cares. For one last time...

Hanku & Lee3: RUN IT!!!

Finale: Farewell to the Hinata Crew

(5:00am)

Lee: (just finished packing) I'm gonna miss this place (teleports to the front steps). Lots of fun and memories...I think I'll send them a message in a week, what do you think L-cam?

L-cam: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!

Lee: Okay, okay (gate appears at the bottom of the steps). Well I got everything.

L-cam: What about Shelby?

Lee: I got her too (Both Lee and the floating high-tech camera went into the gate and it closed behind them.).

(One week later)

Keitaro: (runs around the dorm looking for the girls) Naru, Kitsune (tries five other rooms), Su, Shinobu, Motoko, Sarah, where are...wait the hot spring (Runs into the hot spring where the girls are sure enough naked, but Keitaro is ignoring that.). Hey everyone...

Naru & Motoko: You MORON...

Keitaro: Lee sent us a message!

Everyone: WHAT?!

(In Keitaro's room)

Keitaro: How do I start this?

Naru: Do you even know how to work it?

Keitaro: Of course, Lee sent a message to Haruka and Seta so I saw...(pushes a button) oh I got it.

(The little box transforms into a big screen TV, which turned itself on and it showed Le sitting on his bed playing "Metroid Prime".)

LCM: Hey!

Lee: (finished saving) What is it are we on?

LCM: Yeah dumbass!

Lee: (shuts off the Gamecube) Decent (faces the camera). Yo what's up guy?

Naru: He's still a shithead.

Lee: This is a Live feed so I can hear you stupid-ass.

Keitaro: Can you do anything else?

Lee: Yeah this (punches Keitaro through the camera and sends him flying into a wall. Then punches Naru into Keitaro.).

Sarah: What was that for?

Lee: Because they're both idiots. Anyway I wanted to say that I had a great time with you guys.

Kitsune: Awe, thanks.

Lee: Your welcome, anyway I consider you all my friends.

Naru & Keitaro: Even us?

Lee: No!

Naru & Keitaro: Boo!

Motoko: He's probably joking.

Lee: You're right.

Su: I didn't know L-cam could send messages.

Lee: The last one couldn't, but L-Cam Messenger can.

Su: Brilliant!

Lee: Thanks.

Keitaro: What were you gonna tell us?

Lee: I know your futures, but I won't tell you how it comes to pass.

Kitsune: Why is that?

Su: You shouldn't know about your destiny.

Lee: Exactly, you might undo or change something you shouldn't.

Kitsune: Come on sugar can't you tell us a little bit of our futures?

Lee: Okay, Keitaro will leave, but he will return and by that time a girl from his past will manage the dorm in his place. Keitaro will take charge again, but this girl will make things interesting for you all.

Keitaro: Whoa, but what about...

Lee: Don't worry your "Promised Girl" will reveal herself in time.

Motoko: Do you know who it is?

Lee: Yes, but I won't reveal that because that would be too much information. I'm also not revealing anything about your exam so don't ask me, Keitaro and Naru!

Keitaro: Ooooookay.

Lee: I gotta go, but I will return one day, anyway it's been real.

Motoko: On behalf of...

Lee: Stop with the formal crap. That samurai shit has been over since the mid 19th century. Join the new millennium: Sarah, stay cool, Naru, quit being a bitch, Keitaro, get some balls, Kitsune, lay off the gambling and beer, Su, take some Ritalin, Shinobu, be more assertive, but stay the nice person that you are now. Would someone tell Mutsumi to get a brain?

Sarah: I'll do it.

Lee: Cool, I gotta go. Later guys.

Everyone: Ja ne (L-Cam Messenger disappears after Lee end the transmission)!

Keitaro: We are so screwed when he returns.

Naru: (excited) You mean IF he returns.

Motoko: You know he considered you a friend don't you?

Naru: (panics) OH NO IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

Everyone minus Motoko: (runs away screaming) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Motoko: (annoyed) They really are idiots.

(Inside Lee's room)

Lee2: Will you return to that dimension?

Lee: Yeah. I will return you Hinata Retards. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (the body double goes back into Lee's body)!!!!!

The End...Until next time

Antics: Pissed off Aunt

Warning: The following "Macarena" parody will either make you laugh or flip off the author. If the words are NOT in italics then that person(s) is speaking.

(The "Macarena" song starts playing in the background)

Haruka: (starts singing) _Hello guys my name is Aunt Haruka._

_Call me aunt and I'll blow your fuckin' head off_

_That damn name makes me old_

_And if you call me that I'll leave you in the cold_

_I hate Seta, can't stand him_

_And if I see him I'll fuckin' kill him_

Lee & Keitaro:_ This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name Haruka_

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: SHUT UP!!

_Damn I hate those two morons_

_They have nothing better to do_

_One hates me, the other disses me, but revenge will be mine_

C,mon what I'm I supposed to do?

They treat me like I'm old so I'm gonna shoot them in the head.

Lee & Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka FUCK OFF (shoots and misses)!!!

Lee & Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: DIE (shoots wildly, but doesn't hit anything for a minute and half)!!!

_Everyone, I'm known as Aunt Haruka_

_If you call me aunt I will just plain run you over_

_I'm not old, I'll tell you_

_I'm just as hot as ever_

Lee & Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka _

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: GODDAMMIT (shoots and misses)!!!

Lee& Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka _

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: WHAT, OUT OF AMMO?!

Lee & Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: WHAT KIND OF AUTO SHOTGUN IS THIS (throws the gun down and it went off and the bullet hit her in the leg)?!!

Lee & Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka _

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50_

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: DON'T MAKE ME LIMP OVER THERE!!!

Lee & Keitaro: _This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_She's only 25 but she thinks she's fuckin' 50 _

_This young lady here her name is Aunt Haruka_

_Hey Aunt Haruka_

Haruka: STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!

Lee: Fine, the song is over anyway.

Keitaro: You need to loosen up.

Lee3: Well that's it.

Naru: (happily) The "A New Roommate" fic is over! Now my hell will be (falls through a trapdoor) HEAVEN!!!

Lee3: (Lets go of the cord) Damn, what a rude bitch.

Hanku: (crying) I didn't get to do anything in the main story!

Lee3: You weren't here when I first started this fic, which was last year. Then again you might get a chance in the continuation.

Hanku: (excited) Really?

Lee3: Maybe, but that is your author's call, not mine. Besides I'm working on both the Excel-Saga and Soul Caliber 2 fics and on top of that I have College so may not be able to get to the continuation until the first week of December at the earliest.

Hanku: That's a long wait.

Lee3: Yeah, but it gives me a hiatus from Love Hina for a while.

Su: (shows up) Heyo!

Lee3: No kick this time?

Su: No, just want to tell you good luck in the future.

Lee3: Thanks.

Sarah & Shinobu: See ya later.

Lee3: Later (Kitsune staggers in and passes out). At least I won't have to deal with your interruptions for a while (Keitaro runs past Lee3 with Naru and Motoko chasing him). See you three later even though you're too busy to say farewell.

Sarah: What about...

Lee3: I say bye to them already.

Sarah: Oh.

Lee3: Well that's the end of "A New Roommate?" I hope the punctuation isn't wrong. Anyway, review if you want to and look out for my next fic, "Crazy-Ass Saga" which is an Excel-Saga fic, if you're interested, if not don't worry about it, it's short anyway. Before I go I want to give a special thanks to various readers and people who inspired me.

Special Thanks:

Barthoze: For letting me know about that error in the first chapter.

To whoever wrote the fic "Switched Lives": You inspired me to write this fic.

Sandahl (I don't know her username): Thanks for introducing me to this site 6 years ago. If not for you I wouldn't even know that this site existed and that they used to allow lemons (Why did they take those out anyway?).

Adam: I'll try to reduce the parenthesis use in the future as soon as I get used to this new format (which is messing with the asterisks).

Sup: Thanks for my second review. You motivated me to REMEMBER to update chapters.

Random Man & Urashima-sempai: Thanks for the reviews. You motivated me to update FASTER!!!

Hanku: Your reviews were always funny to read, which really kept me going. I'm enjoying that fic of yours' so keep at it.

Thank you to anyone who was reading for the hell of it.

Thank you all...great I sound like an anime movie now. See you all next time.


End file.
